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Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

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Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#301

Post by dkarl »

DiscourseFan wrote: post #278
dkarl wrote: post #261

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the 50/50 on Freud is an overrated/underrated equilibrium. Most of the Freud "fans" and Freud "haters" don't estimate him differently because they disagree about the correctness of specific Freudian theories; they mostly just feel that his legacy is overvalued or undervalued, or that his prominence in popular culture has been helpful versus harmful to the field. It's like asking basketball fans about Michael…

See Der_Einzige's comment below.

I think the people Der_Einzige refers to who are practicing Freudian psychoanalysis today using anything resembling Freud's original ideas are a tiny minority, and you could toss them out without affecting the 50/50 balance.

Der_Einzige thinks Freud should be judged negatively because his ideas are discredited in detail and have been replaced by newer and better clinical approaches. Another person might have completely identical views with Der_Einzige about the current clinical worth of Freud's ideas yet judge Freud positively because he was a keen and empathetic observer of his patients, because he legitimized the concept of unconscious psychological processes in the public mind, and because he raised the profile of psychological medical care and made it more socially acceptable. The same person could even feel different ways on different days without changing their mind at all.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#302

Post by silisili »

bluGill wrote: post #246
silisili wrote: post #33

I feel like this article is good, on the verge of great, then makes cultural comments that invalidate the point trying to be made for no real reason. Like the race or location of the parent determines their childhood? The rest is spot on. I became a parent before I was ready, and man, they are little sponges. They learn everything you do, everything you say, embarrassingly so. My 5 year old would lay on the couch to…

> I became a parent before I was ready Me too, and I was almost 40 before I had my first. Worse, the affects of age is already showing in my body and so physically I'm less prepared than when I was 20. For others reading this, you will never be ready. However it is still worth it. I encourage you take the plunge, and don't wait to long. You will never be ready. (of course not having kids is the right choice for some…

Yeah, I wasn't and didn't mean to imply I was too young, late 20s, just wasn't emotionally prepared or 'mature' enough I felt like, at first. Maybe that's normal for everyone. I don't know how 18 year olds do it!

> For others reading this, you will never be ready

That's probably a sage takeaway.

Thanks, it's comforting to hear others experience similar thoughts.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#303

Post by thefz »

nmeofthestate wrote: post #136
thefz wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Plenty of ways to keep my immune system updated providing myself scratches and cuts while mountain biking / trail running, let alone eating snacks while on the trail with my hands absolutely not clean, or by simply breathing in a forest. But ingesting the black residue from exposure to diesel smoke while in transport is not for me, thanks. Feel free to train your immune system to dispatch tar.

Has anyone else seen oranges encrusted with this black residue from diesel smoke? It's not an issue in my country.

Have I written encrusted oranges?

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#304

Post by redcobra762 »

ujkhsjkdhf234 wrote: post #295
lolinder wrote: post #229

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm going to quote the paragraph you're responding to so that those just reading the comments can see what it actually says: > The marshmallow test also doesn’t account for cultural differences. In some cultures, waiting is baked into daily life. Think about Japan, where kids are often taught to wait quietly for meals or gifts. Compare that to the US, where instant gratification is practically a way of life. These cu…

This is a White America thing and it is why we are in the situation we are in as a country but people want to pretend that race and culture doesn't play any role in anything. It does. You don't need to feel bad about it. Just acknowledge that it is a thing.

It's not a White America thing to reject race as a biological concept, it's consistent with scientific study.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#305

Post by autoexec »

vintermann wrote: post #130
makeitdouble wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Kids are pretty used to calculations related to stuff to eat. I think anyone who grew up with siblings has an extremely developed sense of how much they're willing to risk vs how much reward. Like would I eat my brother's pudding knowing we'll be fighting to death when he's also back from school ? Yes, of course. That's risk/reward that made sense back in the days.

Exactly, it's nonsense to talk about "executive function" as if it's some internal liquid that some kids have and others don't. Kids adapt to the realities of their situation, if they feel - on an intellectual level, or maybe on a more instinctive level - that things are precarious and options you have today won't be there tomorrow, and promises made to you won't necessarily be kept, of course you eat the goddamn mar…

> it's nonsense to talk about "executive function" as if it's some internal liquid that some kids have.

That's actually how people with executive function disorders (like ADHD) describe it. There's a finite amount of gas/fuel/internal liquid they have in a day, which gets consumed as demands are made of them and it runs out a lot sooner for them than it does for others. Once it's gone even simple tasks can be overwhelming. Taking that one step further is the "spoon theory" (https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/the-neurodivergent-s...) which divides that finite resource into categories like mental, emotional, physical, social, etc.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#306

Post by redcobra762 »

michaelt wrote: post #281
rahimnathwani wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The original paper has been cited 2000 times: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&scioq=... That's a lot of citations for something they 'just do not care' about.

I agree. But do bear in mind, an intro textbook for a 101 class aiming to correct popular misunderstandings; or an experimental guide wanting to give examples of mistakes one should avoid; or an article on the replication crisis would also count as citations, even as they sneered at the original faulty work.

Right, because "care about" doesn't mean "agree with".

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#307

Post by ryandrake »

silisili wrote: post #33

I feel like this article is good, on the verge of great, then makes cultural comments that invalidate the point trying to be made for no real reason. Like the race or location of the parent determines their childhood? The rest is spot on. I became a parent before I was ready, and man, they are little sponges. They learn everything you do, everything you say, embarrassingly so. My 5 year old would lay on the couch to…

> The hardest part for parents today seems to be putting their phone down.

Kids are great at detecting hypocrisy. You can't tell them to not be addicted to their phone when you yourself are addicted to your phone. You have to set a good example.

I'm not much of an "idle scroller" but I try to limit my phone use to after the kid is in bed. When I visibly use my phone in front of her, I make it a point to show that I'm using it as a tool to do something, and then I put it away when that something is done. If they see you sitting on the couch all evening mindlessly scrolling Instagram, they're going to think that's OK. Just like past kids saw their parents sitting on their couch all evenings watching TV.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#308

Post by only-one1701 »

Der_Einzige wrote: post #251
SketchySeaBeast wrote: post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know this is what you're complaining about, but did you just equate autism and being far left? Do you find that the sort of complaints you are describing come out after you do groupings like that?

[flagged]

That’s not what equivocation means, genius

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#309

Post by jpadkins »

Der_Einzige wrote: post #251
SketchySeaBeast wrote: post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know this is what you're complaining about, but did you just equate autism and being far left? Do you find that the sort of complaints you are describing come out after you do groupings like that?

[flagged]

you should hang out with some far right people.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#310

Post by kodt »

rubslopes wrote: post #296
kodt wrote: post #276

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So if your dog required medication, you would never hide the pill in peanut butter for example?

I think this case is excused by the fact that you have no way of explaining why the medicine is important.

Exactly my point. Deception may be necessary at times.
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