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You can't optimize your way to being a good person
151–160 of 173 posts
Re: You can't optimize your way to being a good person
#152Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I refuse to accept that empathy is a weakness. It is not. But also, empathy is not the same thing as kindness. Empathy, as you mentioned, is the ability to put oneself in someone else's shoes. To imagine what is like to be other. Fraudsters, cheaters, psycopaths. All of these are great empaths. They understand others in a deep level. But they're not kind, they are ruthless. > I feel like part of what defines us as…
> Fraudsters, cheaters, psycopaths. All of these are great empaths. They understand others in a deep level. No, psychopathy is clinically defined in part by a lack of empathy.
As I said, I'm no psychologist. I am also not a psychiatrist or neurologist.
If you are one, I'm sure there's more to it than just "lack of empathy", and I would love to hear more.
Re: You can't optimize your way to being a good person
#153I'm a moral incompletist. That is, no consistent system of axioms whose theorems can be listed by an effective procedure is capable of proving all truths about moral actions. Either moral systems are complete, or they are consistent. Consistency and completeness are requirements for optimization, so the idea of moral optimization is dead on arrival for me. It's simply not possible, and like the author one will drive…
Which is just another way of saying, as is the judeo-christian doctrine, that the ultimate good is transcendent.
Re: You can't optimize your way to being a good person
#154Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don't think I disagree with anything you said (though I'm hesitant to call myself creative). I guess when I say "empathy", I also mean "feeling someone's pain", in addition to the "someone else's shoes". I think being able to understand someone's situation, and see how they're actually hurting, and how you'd hurt if someone did that to you, is the part of empathy/kindness that is a key ingredient in being a "decent…
Empathy is I feel what you feel. Compassion is I understand what you feel, how can we help? It is usually better to aim for compassion because if a person is having a crisis you don't want to go down in flames with them, compassion gives us emotional space to be helpful rather than affected by emotions that can pull us down.
As someone who tries to be compassionate, with an SO that is highly empathetic, the former is far better. She is often emotionally debilitated by being emotionally devastated by things happening to family, friends, strangers, news stories. I think it actually skews her ability to be compassionate, because she acts in shortsighted ways to attempt to relieve her proxy emotions, instead of taking a step back and finding a better solution to the person suffering. No one that is already empathetic should attempt to increase their empathy. A little goes a long way and you should work on building compassion, understanding, patience, etc.
Re: You can't optimize your way to being a good person
#155"Being a good person" has been a theme in my entire adult life. I'm a member of an organization that stresses personal improvement (amongst other things). "Being a good person" can vary, by culture and context. For example, some cultures prescribe brusqueness, and direct communication, while other cultures want us to always "beat around the bush," before coming to the point. Think New York City, versus Richmond, Virg…
> I'm a member of an organization that stresses personal improvement (amongst other things). Do you mind if I ask what kind of organization? I’ve struggled to find active groups focused on values/principles instead of hobbies. Or maybe by organization, you mean work?
some religious communities may be what you are looking for. unfortunately not all of them. some just tell you that you should improve but leave you to figure out how all on your own.
Re: You can't optimize your way to being a good person
#156Earlier quoted context omitted.
Sometimes, it's not that hard to draw the rest of the owl.
Exactly. What I take away from that passage is "most of the time it's really not hard to figure out how to be a good person so you're better off actually taking some concrete positive action than spending further time navel-gazing". Like in TFA. Just be kind to others. Be thoughtful. Be nice to people even when you don't have to be. Try to make life better for those around you. But also be kind to yourself. Don't wor…
I listened to an advice show many years back. The vast majority of callers had a question that could be paraphrased:
"I have this problem, and I should do X, but I really want to do Y." The host would say, "do X."
Once I realized that, I noticed that I sometimes stumbled over the same choice.
Re: You can't optimize your way to being a good person
#157If you spend all your time worrying about how to be a good person, chances are you're not being a good person. Just go do nice things. Volunteer somewhere. Be of service. And stop worrying so much
100% ... In my life, I accepted a while back that I don't have to solve world hunger or cure cancer in order to be a good person - just be as courteous to others as I can; focus on the little things. For example, I always park my car in the back of parking lots (or otherwise far away) because I'm perfectly capable of walking, while others might struggle. Is that gonna get me a Nobel prize? Certainly not. But I like t…
I'm crippled and have a handicap tag for my car, but I'll still park in the back, depending on the store. Trying to get out of handicap spots at Target, Trader Joes, or Costco is always a nightmare because people have no patience.
Re: You can't optimize your way to being a good person
#158Effective altruism says otherwise
Effective Altruism is a scam. Sam Bankman Fried's guru tried to distance itself from the fraud that happened, tweeting he needed to "reflect" on what happened but... He hasn't handed back the 15 million GBP property bought in England with stolen funds donated by SBF. Now even to this day there are still funds being clawed back from the Enron scam (or at least there was still a few years ago) so that mansion may be cl…
Wait, one guy makes something a scam? Can you tell me examples of your favorite movements that didn't include a single bad person?
Re: You can't optimize your way to being a good person
#159I was raised very loosely Lutheran (Christian). We barely went to church and stopped entirely after I was confirmed. I practice it exactly 0% now and have never in my adult life. However I feel like something got cooked into me, and maybe even my parents, that gives me a bit of guidance here. I can't explain it but I feel like I have a foundation that is preventing me from feeling the empty nihilism that plagues a lo…
Christianity teaches we are all children of God, brothers and sisters with equal dignity and respect and heirs to a heavenly kingdom. We reject the Trolley problem. We reject the idea of starving sailors on a deserted island should draw lots and eat one of their own. To argue otherwise is to agree with what we decried about ancient societies. Sacrificing children/prisoners/slaves to Moloch for own benefit is the sure…
Can you elaborate on why you reject the trolley problem?
Re: You can't optimize your way to being a good person
#160Earlier quoted context omitted.
Last Saturday, myself and two other firefighters managed to find a woman lost in a maze of 40+ miles of trails. Her hip had dislocated, she could not move. The temperatures were in the upper 20s (F) (-3C or so) with serious windchill amidst 35mph/56kph wind gusts. It was extremely dark. We stayed with her and tried to keep her as warm as possible until a UTV arrived to extricate her. I was home by 01:00, after 4hrs o…
That is a epic story. What gear were you in, were you in structural gear or something else? Just the thought of hiking in my structural gear gives me blisters.
Y'all are experts here. May I ask, are those mylar blankets really a thing ? Do they work ?