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Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

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Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#121

Post by jongjong »

wenc wrote: post #6

I would love to, but I come from a place where intellectual pursuits are not valued, so I would lose out on that front if I moved back. I’m the type who needs to always be learning. So I would always need to be in a big city. Alain Bertaud, the urbanist, recently said, “the big contribution of cities is randomness.” And he continues: “You don't know what to expect. You don't know who you will meet. And, it's precisel…

I had to move back to be closer to my parents in a town which doesn't value intellectual pursuits because I couldn't find a job in the tech sector in the big city after almost a year. This is in spite of having a long list of technical accomplishments and an impeccable public track record under my belt.

My dad kept reminding me how I shouldn't have pursued coding and studied to be a lawyer instead... He alluded to my cousin who never went to university and was able to buy a house by being a truck driver and then working in the mines. Sigh.

He is right though. I feel like a fool; a caricature of the stereotypical book-smart, street-dumb geek, crawling back to the small town on my knees just to have the town folk rub dirt in my face, feeling proud of themselves for never having taken such foolish risks in their lives.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#123

Post by davkan »

philosopher1234 wrote: post #106
theGnuMe wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You can do all that online… however in-person networking is important.

No you can’t, because the depth, pace, and honesty of conversation doesn’t exist online

This has not been my experience.

Are you just trying to find that level of communication in places like this?

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#124

Post by [deleted] »

ryandrake wrote: post #40
wenc wrote: post #6

I would love to, but I come from a place where intellectual pursuits are not valued, so I would lose out on that front if I moved back. I’m the type who needs to always be learning. So I would always need to be in a big city. Alain Bertaud, the urbanist, recently said, “the big contribution of cities is randomness.” And he continues: “You don't know what to expect. You don't know who you will meet. And, it's precisel…

> I would love to, but I come from a place where intellectual pursuits are not valued, so I would lose out on that front if I moved back. This part of choosing where to live is so important and hard to articulate. I remember when I moved from small town to small town, then finally out to Silicon Valley. The first thing I noticed was the billboards by the side of 101. They were about programming frameworks, iPhones, h…

[deleted]

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#125

Post by bodegajed »

wenc wrote: post #6

I would love to, but I come from a place where intellectual pursuits are not valued, so I would lose out on that front if I moved back. I’m the type who needs to always be learning. So I would always need to be in a big city. Alain Bertaud, the urbanist, recently said, “the big contribution of cities is randomness.” And he continues: “You don't know what to expect. You don't know who you will meet. And, it's precisel…

That is true. I would love to have intellectual friends who like the arts, like pottery, writing, and music. I imagine those hobbies to be very affordable.

> cultural preference to isolate oneself

In retrospect, we, as a society, developed this notion of private property. Consumerism and mass media did this to us. But historically, we did not own much. Someone would hunt and gather, and the elders would stay and look out for the children. Imagine you're retired, old, frail, yet surrounded by children who are willing to help you.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#126

Post by vel0city »

wenc wrote: post #6

I would love to, but I come from a place where intellectual pursuits are not valued, so I would lose out on that front if I moved back. I’m the type who needs to always be learning. So I would always need to be in a big city. Alain Bertaud, the urbanist, recently said, “the big contribution of cities is randomness.” And he continues: “You don't know what to expect. You don't know who you will meet. And, it's precisel…

I grew up in a suburban house with a backyard that opened to many acres of swamplands and nature preserves. It was also a bicycle ride away to go to a few different parks, the movie and video game rental store in the same strip as a corner store with all kinds of snacks and ice cream, go visit Space Center Houston, go fishing on the lake, and even take a canoe all the way to the bay. I had friends in my neighborhood, friends in nearby neighborhoods, and friends all over the city by the time I was 13.

Now my kids have a backyard. They are also a short walk to a city park with multiple playgrounds, a small trail through the woods, a fishing pond, and more. They can hop on the bus and go to the library or the many other parks. They can hop on grade separated bike trails and ride for dozens of miles through nature reserves. We take the train to watch hockey games deeper into the city pretty often.

Suburb doesn't have to mean isolation. If often does, but it doesn't have to.

Meanwhile I know many people who live deeper in the city who barely know anyone in the city and rarely interact with people outside of Discord.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#127

Post by vel0city »

wizzwizz4 wrote: post #80
kennyloginz wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m curious, do you live on a farm, or a suburb?

Villages and small towns exist.

Yeah but on the census is your area rural or urban?

Lots of people LARP as rural despite living in an urban area.

Big difference between a small town a truly rural. My friend lives in a rural place; it's a full 30min drive to the grocery store on one lane each way highways. There's like six restaurants in 80mi.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#128

Post by vel0city »

lolinder wrote: post #89
wenc wrote: post #6

I would love to, but I come from a place where intellectual pursuits are not valued, so I would lose out on that front if I moved back. I’m the type who needs to always be learning. So I would always need to be in a big city. Alain Bertaud, the urbanist, recently said, “the big contribution of cities is randomness.” And he continues: “You don't know what to expect. You don't know who you will meet. And, it's precisel…

Interestingly, the quote you cite here seems to be specifically directed at G.K. Chesterton, who said exactly the opposite—that larger societies tend towards reducing the amount of variety that you experience, precisely because you can choose to associate primarily with people who you relate to [0]. In a small community, you could choose to be entirely isolated, but if you want company you'll need to associate with t…

I will say, you don't have to leave the city to know all kinds of people, but you do have to choose to meet all kinds of people. It's very easy to form a bubble in a city, where as with what you say in a small town you pretty much have to interact with a lot of the town or go live in a cave or something.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#129

Post by vel0city »

gazook89 wrote: post #39
wenc wrote: post #6

I would love to, but I come from a place where intellectual pursuits are not valued, so I would lose out on that front if I moved back. I’m the type who needs to always be learning. So I would always need to be in a big city. Alain Bertaud, the urbanist, recently said, “the big contribution of cities is randomness.” And he continues: “You don't know what to expect. You don't know who you will meet. And, it's precisel…

I think it’s likely folly to think that the big city is only place where intellectual pursuit and learning can happen. I often tell people that living in a rural area is much like living in the city, but living next to the city is like neither.

It's like the people who think the only tech people are in SV.

I've had lots of good tech discussions in several of towns that don't crack the top 20 biggest US cities. And I wouldn't argue I'm incredibly well travelled.

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