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Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

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101–110 of 517 posts

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#101
post #46

I go back and forth on this. I still keep in touch with a bunch of high school and college friends. For better or worse those guys know "the real me" and the history and relationships are impossible to replace. They all still live close together but I live far away - I only see them once or twice a year, if that (less right now because we're all in the "very young kids" stage). I miss them. On the other hand, when I…

> I only see them once or twice a year, if that (less right now because we're all in the "very young kids" stage). I miss them. How often do you think you would see them if you lived in the same city? If you see them twice a year, for a few days straight, I think you are doing really well and I am sure they appreciate the effort you make. Can you cut the difference and go camping once a year or every second year for…

My father see his college and high schools friends in teashops almost everyday. They just sit, sometimes eat. All come and go. No long term planning. Just phone calls.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#103
post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

More like I need to be rich to move to where my friends are - I went to college in the Bay Area and I can’t afford to live there. But honestly it’s not hard to keep in touch these days if you want to so I’m not the least bit bothered. As a renter, I’m constantly on the move because I can’t afford homeownership - the price to rent ratio is firmly between 19 and 20 at the moment, and that’s after moving from the Bay Ar…

why does renting force you to move? how does owning a home allow you to stay if other considerations may force you to sell the house and buy another one? my mother lives in a rental apartment that my family has been in since 150 years ago.

> my mother lives in a rental apartment that my family has been in since 150 years ago.

Wouldn’t it have been better to just buy property in that area? 150 years ago was 1874 - that’s many an economic cycle and the homesteading act was still a thing then.

I find it hard to believe that renting was the best play here. Unless (cost of house/cost of annual rent) was always 16+, then maybe.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#104

My friends and I live near each other. It's a quick 10 min walk to their place and we have keys to each others' places. We've slowly lobbied more people to move nearer and life is getting better with each additional participant. I'm a firm believer in optimizing for our relationships. That said, we did that because it seemed to us to be the obvious right thing, and it seemed that our parents benefited from doing this…

Give this to people you know - https://livenearfriends.com/

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#105
post #6

I would love to, but I come from a place where intellectual pursuits are not valued, so I would lose out on that front if I moved back. I’m the type who needs to always be learning. So I would always need to be in a big city. Alain Bertaud, the urbanist, recently said, “the big contribution of cities is randomness.” And he continues: “You don't know what to expect. You don't know who you will meet. And, it's precisel…

I think it’s likely folly to think that the big city is only place where intellectual pursuit and learning can happen. I often tell people that living in a rural area is much like living in the city, but living next to the city is like neither.

Agreed, the comment reminded me of the secret king in the corner meme “they don’t know I have intellectual pursuits.”

People outside of cities can read good too.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#106
post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is it. It’s proximity. Let’s say you’re interested in transformers. In a big city, you could go to a meetup, talk to different people working on this stuff at a production level (maybe there’s even some guy who works on it at Google), talk about tips or pitfalls that no one ever publishes and potentially have the conversation veer off to DuckDB or some obscure topic. When you have a gathering of like minds, the…

You can do all that online… however in-person networking is important.

No you can’t, because the depth, pace, and honesty of conversation doesn’t exist online

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#107

100% this. Started out with two families buying houses near each other in a family centric LA neighborhood (Eagle Rock). Then it expanded to 3 --> 4 --> 5 all within walking distance. We all have similar aged children. It's magic. We watch each others kids, do frequent backyard/park/sleepover playdates, and help w dropoff/pickup. It makes parenting SO MUCH EASIER. I often joke that I'm not a real parent bc we have so…

How are the schools though? Will the kids in your commune go through LAUSD together?

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#108
post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

why does renting force you to move? how does owning a home allow you to stay if other considerations may force you to sell the house and buy another one? my mother lives in a rental apartment that my family has been in since 150 years ago.

> my mother lives in a rental apartment that my family has been in since 150 years ago. Wouldn’t it have been better to just buy property in that area? 150 years ago was 1874 - that’s many an economic cycle and the homesteading act was still a thing then. I find it hard to believe that renting was the best play here. Unless (cost of house/cost of annual rent) was always 16+, then maybe.

> the homesteading act

Their mother likely rents in Europe where the US homesteading act didn't apply.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

More like I need to be rich to move to where my friends are - I went to college in the Bay Area and I can’t afford to live there. But honestly it’s not hard to keep in touch these days if you want to so I’m not the least bit bothered. As a renter, I’m constantly on the move because I can’t afford homeownership - the price to rent ratio is firmly between 19 and 20 at the moment, and that’s after moving from the Bay Ar…

> More like I need to be rich to move to where my friends are Like most folks, we live where we can. Being able to pick a spot on a map has never been a possibility. It's been tighter than that tho. In 2021 we beat loooong odds to find any housing and insane odds to score a decent place that fit all of us. People with money in the bank were going homeless.

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