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The Surreal Magnificence of Fatherhood

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Re: The Surreal Magnificence of Fatherhood

#51

Post by moconnor »

mr_mitm wrote: post #9

Is it like this for everyone? I sometimes wonder how large the number of cases is where the parent does not feel like that at all but refrains from sharing it due to societal expectations and fear of being judged. It would introduce a bias regarding these stories.

This was the most accurately description of first-time fatherhood I've read. It was a bit light on how debilitating constant lack of sleep can be but everything else: yes.

I would strongly encourage all fathers to become as closely involved with day-to-day care of their babies as possible. Don't wait until they can walk and talk.

Re: The Surreal Magnificence of Fatherhood

#53

Post by utopicwork »

epicureanideal wrote: post #41
binary132 wrote: post #34

Fatherhood transforms men. Becoming a father was by far the most transformative event of my entire life so far. This is the common refrain I’ve heard. Of course, you also have to live up to the vocation.

Divorce, child support, alimony, and two weekends of time with your kids per month (what the majority of men end up with), can also be transformative! If anyone reading this is thinking about having kids, be really careful who you have them with.

[flagged]

Re: The Surreal Magnificence of Fatherhood

#54

Post by anonu »

nickpsecurity wrote: post #2

That was a great article. It highlights many things I routinely hear in church about how God works through families. They and the books we read talk about how children are a gift that humbles us, starts transforming our character, and teaches us a lot. God uses children in big ways. Recently, we’ve been reading Disciplines of a Godly Man by R. Kent Hughes. Today we’re to discuss the chapter on Fatherhood. I was happy…

I think your comment is additive to the conversation, despite it not agreeing with the core HN cohort. Not worth downvoting IMO.

Re: The Surreal Magnificence of Fatherhood

#55

Post by [deleted] »

mr_mitm wrote: post #9

Is it like this for everyone? I sometimes wonder how large the number of cases is where the parent does not feel like that at all but refrains from sharing it due to societal expectations and fear of being judged. It would introduce a bias regarding these stories.

[deleted]

Re: The Surreal Magnificence of Fatherhood

#56

Post by apwell23 »

llm_nerd wrote: post #47

I have four children. I have never regretted it or wished for a different path. I know it isn't for everyone, but it absolutely was and is for me. At the same time I do think articles like this should be countered with the reality that many fathers aren't overwhelmed with waves of love or "surreal magnificence". With each of my children being born the primary emotions I could point to were dread and anxiety. The sudd…

> One of the reasons birthrates have plummeted in the West, and sentiments about having children have dropped, is that we have no "village", so to speak.

It probably true but even the well of who can afford to buy the village aren't having kids.

I think it has more to do with

1. cultural acceptance and lack of strict cultural pressure to have kids. Its unimaginable in India to not have kids by choice. Its not a choice at all unless you want to be pariah.

2. Availability of affordable widespread recreation that will keep you occupied. Affordability of lots of on demand TV, dining out, live music, internet, hobbies, travel ect.

Re: The Surreal Magnificence of Fatherhood

#57

Post by genghisjahn »

aliasxneo wrote: post #37
nickpsecurity wrote: post #2

That was a great article. It highlights many things I routinely hear in church about how God works through families. They and the books we read talk about how children are a gift that humbles us, starts transforming our character, and teaches us a lot. God uses children in big ways. Recently, we’ve been reading Disciplines of a Godly Man by R. Kent Hughes. Today we’re to discuss the chapter on Fatherhood. I was happy…

I was gonna say you must be new to HN, but it appears you’re not. I assumed the anti-Christian sentiment had finally driven most Christians away from here.

I’ve been here for a bit and I’m a Christian. Pain and suffering are difficult to rationalize with the whole “God only gives you want you can handle stuff.” It’s not comforting. Bad things happen to Christians all the time. I try to ease suffering no matter who it happens to. It does help me to remember that Jesus suffered too.

I’d say more but my son is saying “play with me” over and over. Take care ya’ll.

Re: The Surreal Magnificence of Fatherhood

#58

Post by apwell23 »

ariwilson wrote: post #27
A_D_E_P_T wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's certainly not. To speak plainly, I wasn't terribly interested in my son until he turned 3 years old. Then he started talking, started developing a personality with interests of his own, and fatherhood then became much more interesting. But I was intentionally quite uninvolved in those very early years. I don't regret this, don't see how else it could have been, and indeed I feel that some degree of fatherly aloo…

I feel sorry for the mother or whoever was taking care of your child for the first 3 years. Someone has to guide the small children towards being functional human beings and it's a lot of work. I found they have interesting personalities and ways of expressing themselves by 1 at the latest.

I wasn't too interested in my son till 1 yr old but I did all the housework ( cooking, cleaning, laundry), taking my son to all doctors appointments, taking him with me to grocery shopping, outdoor walks and to the park.
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