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Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism

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Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism

#81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You don't have to be friends. You have to be friendly.

Will that make people less lonely? Pretending we like each other?

That's not what being friendly is.

It's more about treating others with kindness and respect.

Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism

#82
post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find HN more depressing than other social media. It's more focused on money, more anonymous (which isn't necessarily bad, but harder to connect with people), but mostly it's by far the most arrogant. I became a lot happier when I stopped showing up here regularly.

Def on the higher end of social media IQ spectrum

Certainly likes to pretend that it is, anyway.

Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism

#83

I wonder how introversion affects loneliness. I'm not just introverted, I am rather extreme ... to the point where I've wondered if I might have schizoid personality disorder (characterized by apathy towards forming close personal relationships). I don't dislike being around people, I'm no misantrhope, but when I do engage in social activities I'm usually literally bed-ridden for a day or two after. I'm not even exag…

That's very interesting and I wonder if it is related to your physical fitness? Social interaction and going out does require more from your body and I wonder if this is something you can train for like you train your muscles

Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism

#84
post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, there are examples of things people can do for free But what they want to do may be different For instance it's very difficult to do any kind of creative craft if you don't have a budget. Woodworking, metalworking, or anything like that Even videogames is kind of expensive, you need a console or computer and then games can be pricey as well And yes, people may genuinely prefer to watch videos about working on ca…

Fwiw, my local library rents newly-released video games, and you can get a Nintendo Switch cheaply. I know a LOT of poor people who fix their own cars, so I don't buy that argument much at all. I asked about TikTok and doom-scrolling, not watching youtube to educate yourself. People spend HOURS on that mess every day. And costs them a phone every 2-ish years and a service plan, so that isn't even remotely free.

> Costs them a phone every 2-ish years and a service plan, so that isn't even remotely free

This doesn't seem relevant, honestly. People more or less need a phone to function in society nowadays, it's not really optional and it becomes more and more required all the time. So owning a phone and having a plan for it is more or less a sunk cost for almost everyone already

I suspect you will quibble about this, phones aren't actually required, people could live without them.. but more and more you cannot participate in society without one. More and more you need mobile 2FA to interact with your banking, government services etc. Hell some restaurants you can't even see the menu without a phone to view QR codes on. Owning a phone is "optional" but the cost of not having one is high enough that it is basically ridiculous to suggest people should save money by not having one

So if we take that a phone and plan is already a baseline, it's not really an extra expense for people to scroll feeds

Meanwhile a hobby that requires access to specialized tools is an extra expense, and sometimes a big one

Most poor people I've ever known (including myself, years ago) fix their own cars out of necessity because it's cheaper than going to a mechanic, not as a hobby

Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism

#86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Will that make people less lonely? Pretending we like each other?

That's not what being friendly is. It's more about treating others with kindness and respect.

That'll make us less lonely? To be clear, I treat my coworkers with respect and kindness, but I don't put myself in a position where I get close to them or look to them for support or my emotional well being.

Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism

#88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a much better option than the "working/retired" binary. I'm sure there's opportunities out there for that, but they seem to be few and far between.

Honestly, my plan is to establish myself as a valuable contributor, then transition to a part time contractor / consultant. The danger once you become fully financially independent is that neither you or companies are willing to compromise on your working terms and you retire by default. I'm sure I could happily work on saas or open source projects the rest of my life, but it would be nice if I could trade some of th…

> The danger once you become fully financially independent is that neither you or companies are willing to compromise on your working terms and you retire by default.

Never share your situation and security. Your plan is sound otherwise, just say "I need more time for family" or whatever will trigger the response that gets you this outcome. As long as they need you, they'll accommodate.

https://www.amazon.com/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-De...

Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism

#89

I wonder how introversion affects loneliness. I'm not just introverted, I am rather extreme ... to the point where I've wondered if I might have schizoid personality disorder (characterized by apathy towards forming close personal relationships). I don't dislike being around people, I'm no misantrhope, but when I do engage in social activities I'm usually literally bed-ridden for a day or two after. I'm not even exag…

I've never experienced that impact from interacting with other people, but I have described myself as being "wired to be alone."

If you think about it, it's not that unusual throughout history. Sailors, cowboys, shepherds, ranchers, prospectors, hunters etc., have been jobs done by those who preferred to be by themselves.

I remember watching a documentary about the first Iditarod. After the winner got to the finish line, there was an extravagant meal and cameras and news reporters. But the poor guy was so used to being alone with his dogs that he wasn't able to eat a thing with all those people around.

Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism

#90
post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Fwiw, my local library rents newly-released video games, and you can get a Nintendo Switch cheaply. I know a LOT of poor people who fix their own cars, so I don't buy that argument much at all. I asked about TikTok and doom-scrolling, not watching youtube to educate yourself. People spend HOURS on that mess every day. And costs them a phone every 2-ish years and a service plan, so that isn't even remotely free.

> Costs them a phone every 2-ish years and a service plan, so that isn't even remotely free This doesn't seem relevant, honestly. People more or less need a phone to function in society nowadays, it's not really optional and it becomes more and more required all the time. So owning a phone and having a plan for it is more or less a sunk cost for almost everyone already I suspect you will quibble about this, phones ar…

I'll give you the phone thing.

You said: > And yes, people may genuinely prefer to watch videos about working on cars rather than reading a book, when they would really rather be working on their own car but can't afford to

And then said: > Most poor people I've ever known (including myself, years ago) fix their own cars out of necessity because it's cheaper than going to a mechanic, not as a hobby

These seem at odds with each other.

People are generally poor because they were never taught how to manage money, not because they don't have any.

I'm not trying to argue with you in the sense that one of us absolutely right and the other is not, I just can't see it.

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