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Please stop asking me to be friends with my coworkers. It's weird.
You don't have to be friends. You have to be friendly.
Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism
61–70 of 102 posts
Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism
#62Where do you go to meet real humans and have social interaction?
Do people even do that any more? Serious question. I'm old and literally have no idea!
Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism
#63Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you had to guess, how much of that time is used on social media apps? Even playing videogames is a better hobby than doom-scrolling, or going for a walk/run, that's free. Maybe reading a book? I have friends who plow through 2-3 books a week, all from the local library. Cooking? I don't think people are as poor as you indicate. Everyone just takes their gramme of soma whenever they can.
Yes, there are examples of things people can do for free But what they want to do may be different For instance it's very difficult to do any kind of creative craft if you don't have a budget. Woodworking, metalworking, or anything like that Even videogames is kind of expensive, you need a console or computer and then games can be pricey as well And yes, people may genuinely prefer to watch videos about working on ca…
Fwiw, my local library rents newly-released video games, and you can get a Nintendo Switch cheaply.
I know a LOT of poor people who fix their own cars, so I don't buy that argument much at all.
I asked about TikTok and doom-scrolling, not watching youtube to educate yourself. People spend HOURS on that mess every day. And costs them a phone every 2-ish years and a service plan, so that isn't even remotely free.
Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism
#64Where do you go to meet real humans and have social interaction?
Our (the states) reliance on car central culture is killing us in more ways than one. I grew up in the suburbs and you could easily go a week without substantially interacting with people. Jump in your metal capsule, drive 7 mins to Walmart, walk quietly across the huge parking lot, get your item and return home. Contrasted with dense urban city with public transit, you will serendipitously bump into people and be fo…
That 'dense urban landscape' basically does not exist outside of NYC in the US. I'm not sure I'd choose it as a forever home anyway.
For me personally, when looking for a 'forever home' I'm starting to look at smaller college towns. They often have a walkable core around the college, you have access to continuing education opportunities and a college library.
While yes, living around a gaggle of college age kids can be tiring as you get older, a local university fosters a lot of intellectual vibrancy that you wouldn't get without it. You can always hang out with the older folks who teach the classes and serve the college age population.
Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism
#65Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think many people simply cannot afford to have hobbies or interests An astonishing number of people live paycheck to paycheck and basically any hobby costs at least some money
Yeah and this is a relatively recent development. I did my amateur radio license in Canada about 15 years ago, which involves also getting to know the older members of the local radio club. Their attitudes were quite incredible - very normal working class dudes with tens of thousands a year to spend on any serious hobby. (Like spending thousands on amplifiers, then thousands shipping them to pacific islands and up mo…
Absolutely
There's two dimensions to consider here: many hobbies require monetary investment, and many hobbies require quite a bit of space
You basically cannot have woodworking for instance as your hobby if you live in a small apartment
Yes, maybe there's some kind of Maker-space you can go to, but there may not be. That also just creates a barrier to entry because now you need to deal with a membership to the space, travel time, etc. And you still need space at home to store finished projects too!
So people are pretty restricted in the activities they actually can do if they don't have money or space to do things
Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism
#66Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism
#67Where do you go to meet real humans and have social interaction?
Just sign to a gym. Not the pumping iron ones. Sign up to a martial arts gym, a dance studio, an art school. Anything that is more of a social activity, and that YOU LIKE. If you find a group of people that share the same niche interest that you genuinely have, you make friends. My personal advice to the engineer type of guys, is go to a BJJ gym if you want to practice something that is extremely challenging both physically and intellectually. The number of techniques is virtually infinite, and you can become good by simply memorizing more tech than your average jock. So, to make male friends (but not only that) go to a BJJ gym. If you want to meet girls, go to a dance studio. Both skills will be really valuable in terms of physical and mental health throughout your life, apart from the friends you'll make.
Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism
#68Not just US albeit about US we have interesting data. I've read that the average american adult went from spending 11 hours per week with friends and family few decades ago to 4+ in 2010s, and sub 3 after covid. Loneliness is the big sickness of our modern IT times.
It is quite drastic. And the number of close friends follow a similar trend too
Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism
#69Where do you go to meet real humans and have social interaction?
Volunteer work. I volunteer with one group (and have been doing this for almost 8 years now). I can't believe how many friends I have just from this one activity.
Neighbors. Just start talking to them. Have them over. We do this for football (NFL) games or just for dinner.
Surprisingly (or maybe not). Kpop concerts. My wife is very into this music scene. She has definitely made friends she keeps in touch with (friends she met at the concert). I went to one and I couldn't believe how many fans went alone and formed their own groups at the concert to watch/dance. And this is for all ages (I saw 80 year olds down to the teenagers). Edit: I should note that the concerts she has been to did not cost an arm and a leg.
Re: Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism
#70"If I told you, 'I went into my backyard, I made this pill. It's amazing. It's free. If you take it, it'll actually improve your health, make you feel better, improve your performance at work, improve your grades, boost your immunity,' you'd be like, 'Sign me up. I'll take that tomorrow.'" It turns out that's what social connection is. Just a little connection can go a long way in keeping us healthy.
> It's free Free in terms of monetary costs but not free in terms of absolute costs for example time and emotional depletion. For some people they see social connections as more risks that they can possibly lose something and be hurt if things don't work out or they are rejected. And in general social connections require some type of mutual benefit so it is necessary to "give" as you "get". Then another layer are tha…
True that. Especially if you layer the fact that people are less used to socializing so the very act of it becomes emotionally taxing