211–220 of 357 posts
How do you know if you're gifted?
When I was growing up, it meant you scored 130 or higher on an IQ test administered by a professional psychologist. For me, I had this administered in 3rd grade. I assume some teacher suggested I get tested.
ACE 0, iq 125, never qualified as gifted beyond teachers and others saying "you're smart! you just need to apply yourself!" Talking with wife and mother about my childhood made me understand that I've had untreated adhd (got diagnosed only recently, in my late 30s, now in the process of seeing if I'm also on the autism spectrum). Life seen from the outside looks fairly okay, educated, employed, wife, kid, 3 homes, 2…
ACE of 8. Only child, single mother with psychiatric problems, absent dad with psychiatric problems, I was nearly killed by him at age 4, homeless twice before I was ten, no extended family to rely on at all. Mom died of Dementia at 65 when I was barely 30, and I took care of her starting when I was 25, giving up a great job in Boston. I'm a VP of IT in a healthcare company, my third healthcare gig with this particul…
Hopefully this is not too tangential, but it's something that's been on my mind a bit recently. When you had kids (or I guess anyone who is considering having kids), did you ever fear of "passing down" your trauma? I feel that us tech workers, for all intents and purposes, have "made it," which might best position us in general to overcome and prevent a cycle of trauma to the next generation.
Hell, I don't have the energy or social skills to get to that point. Either I or the other person move on, so I just optimize the process.
This is the first time I've heard of an ACE score; I had to look up what it stood for: https://www.christineortollcharity.org/post/adverse-childhoo... I suspect I'm not the only one here in this boat.
First time for me too… How is the ‘ACE score’ even validated for people not near the average? Since presumably ‘former gifted children’ were in the 99th percentile, and above, during the relevant period.
A 10 is the max and a 0 is the min. Based on the questions, any score above 0 indicates some level of real trauma.
Not gifted in anyway. But check my profile and follow the link, to see if what I have written catches your attention.
(p.s: I won't bother with my ACE score - seems like an indulgence in self pity )
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yes. The fear is real, and 100% more tangible when you're holding your child the first few times. Overcome with love, joy and sadness because you cannot comprehend how anyone could treat someone that they love so deeply in a bad way. I don't think "made it" is the differentiator here. It's more about emotional maturity and acceptance that you're chiefly responsible for another human beings experience of the world: Wh…
Is #5 really that bad? Kids can be real shitheads sometimes, but you have to be willing to really go through with it.
you have to really be willing to leave them?
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yes. The fear is real, and 100% more tangible when you're holding your child the first few times. Overcome with love, joy and sadness because you cannot comprehend how anyone could treat someone that they love so deeply in a bad way. I don't think "made it" is the differentiator here. It's more about emotional maturity and acceptance that you're chiefly responsible for another human beings experience of the world: Wh…
Is #5 really that bad? Kids can be real shitheads sometimes, but you have to be willing to really go through with it.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yes. The fear is real, and 100% more tangible when you're holding your child the first few times. Overcome with love, joy and sadness because you cannot comprehend how anyone could treat someone that they love so deeply in a bad way. I don't think "made it" is the differentiator here. It's more about emotional maturity and acceptance that you're chiefly responsible for another human beings experience of the world: Wh…
Is #5 really that bad? Kids can be real shitheads sometimes, but you have to be willing to really go through with it.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Hopefully this is not too tangential, but it's something that's been on my mind a bit recently. When you had kids (or I guess anyone who is considering having kids), did you ever fear of "passing down" your trauma? I feel that us tech workers, for all intents and purposes, have "made it," which might best position us in general to overcome and prevent a cycle of trauma to the next generation.
Yes. The fear is real, and 100% more tangible when you're holding your child the first few times. Overcome with love, joy and sadness because you cannot comprehend how anyone could treat someone that they love so deeply in a bad way. I don't think "made it" is the differentiator here. It's more about emotional maturity and acceptance that you're chiefly responsible for another human beings experience of the world: Wh…