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Why go out?

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Re: Why go out?

#41

Post by lmm »

cpfohl wrote: post #3

What a horribly sad way to live your life. People are no addiction, they're a necessary (and awesome) part of life. Regardless of your spiritual bent: Athiesm - We evolved from social primates into other social primates. You're adding a lot of psychological stress at a fundamental level when you don't live the way you're bred. Christianity/Judaism - God made us for community. "It is not good for Man to be alone". Bud…

>We evolved from social primates into other social primates. You're adding a lot of psychological stress at a fundamental level when you don't live the way you're bred

Hardly. Few people choose to live in caves, and a life of doing so would probably be more stressful than normal, despite that it's what we're bred for. And I'm pretty sure going to a bar or a rock concert was never part of the ancestral environment.

If you tried staying in, found it made you feel much more stressed and so switched to going out that would be one thing, but that's not the experience the author describes at all.

Re: Why go out?

#43

Post by StavrosK »

saraid216 wrote: post #38
StavrosK wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know why we have to bin people like that. I love staying in to program, or read, or whatever, but I need to go out a lot (every day, or more, if I can help it), because I love hanging out with friends, meeting new people, doing new things, etc. Intrinsic vs extrinsic validation doesn't really factor into it. I just like hanging out with friends and making new ones.

We bin people like that because, before the bins, we just assumed there was one and that people who weren't in it were bad. Now we know there are two, and people might simply be in a different "good" rather than out in the "bad".

Well, enough of that. Here's a new theory: There are no bins, there's a continuum of behaviours, and there's no good or bad.

Re: Why go out?

#44

Post by lmm »

calinet6 wrote: post #17
brittohalloran wrote: post #12

What I got from the article i. Childhood issues ii. Possible serious psychological disorder iii. Appreciation for my enjoyment of people

This is the correct interpretation. Congratulations! I read the article and thought, "Wow, there are people like this?" I mean, I relate to a few of the issues, some social anxiety here and there, some wondering how I'm viewed in social groups, etc. But to this level? Let me make this perfectly clear: I have nothing against these kinds of people. Not in the least. I know a lot of you out there will relate to this art…

It doesn't sound like she needed help. It sounds like she's realised she doesn't want or need as much social interaction as our culture leads you to believe you "should" - and she's living a successful, fulfilling life. If that's not validation for such an approach, then what is? Why should I want to be "better"?

Re: Why go out?

#45

Post by kstenerud »

dtbx wrote: post #21

I think she is a little bit neurotic, and she missed all the evolutionary stuff - that we are hardwired for social interaction. I live an overly solitary life, and I crave for company. My social circle is nearly empty, no GF, and almost all my friends have moved to other cities, so I have just one close friend. Damn, I need to go out. I need more human contact, not less.

Humans may in general be hardwired for social interaction, but not everyone is. In fact, there's an entire spectrum of need for social interaction, ranging from constant need to none at all.

Re: Why go out?

#46

Post by dr42 »

icebraining wrote: post #11
cpfohl wrote: post #3

What a horribly sad way to live your life. People are no addiction, they're a necessary (and awesome) part of life. Regardless of your spiritual bent: Athiesm - We evolved from social primates into other social primates. You're adding a lot of psychological stress at a fundamental level when you don't live the way you're bred. Christianity/Judaism - God made us for community. "It is not good for Man to be alone". Bud…

As an atheist, I dislike such "spiritual bents" being forced into the concept. In no way does Atheism entail a belief* in evolution. It is merely a lack of belief in any god(s). Also, your argument implies that every atheist views sex-change operation as necessarily bad, since they're a fundamental modification to "the way you're bred". This is certainly not true. I find your argument uncompelling. *Not to be confuse…

While the dictionary doesn't define atheism as holding a belief in evolution, I would suspect there is an extremely high correlation between them. It's always the religious fundamentalists that reject evolution because anyone with any kind of scientific mind would accept the mountains of evidence.

If one rejects the spiritual or mythological explanation for things being the way they are, it's hard to come up with another possibility. Evolution or creationism, but I seldom hear of a third theory. There are of course many threads of opinion within the basic umbrella of evolution.

If god didn't plant all those bones to make it look like evolution then who did?

Re: Why go out?

#47

Post by spacemanaki »

calinet6 wrote: post #34
Sumaso wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Really? I disagree, perhaps that's what the difference is between introvert and extrovert. I find that I need some time to myself, to do my own things, or else I get perturbed. For a while there in university I would spend even 2 or 3 day alone in my apartment, without speaking, texting, or IMing anyone. Just coding an assignment, playing video games or fooling around in Linux. Completely giving up people didn't see…

I am an I :) There's introversion (the natural preference/energy focus) and then there's verging on sociopathy (lack of empathy, inability to relate to others). I think the author is closer to the 2nd, but I don't really know. Just be aware that I fully understand introversion/extroversion and all the shades in-between. And still hold to my interpretation of the article...

You "fully understand" of all the shades of introversion/extroversion and yet you thought "Wow, there are people like this?" after reading it? I think you might need to expand the range of shades you understand. Nothing in the piece suggested to me anything verging on sociopathic.

Re: Why go out?

#49

Post by calinet6 »

unconed wrote: post #37
calinet6 wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is the correct interpretation. Congratulations! I read the article and thought, "Wow, there are people like this?" I mean, I relate to a few of the issues, some social anxiety here and there, some wondering how I'm viewed in social groups, etc. But to this level? Let me make this perfectly clear: I have nothing against these kinds of people. Not in the least. I know a lot of you out there will relate to this art…

You have nothing against them, except the belief that they should't accept who they are?

To be fair, I think everyone should challenge themselves and their complacencies equally.

Re: Why go out?

#50

Post by zanny »

kstenerud wrote: post #28
mhartl wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People differ greatly in their appetite for social interactions vs. solitude. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. —Henry David Thoreau Do you agree with Thoreau? Probably not. But some people do, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I do agree with the first part. I once spent an entire year alone in my apartment, never speaking to anyone and rarely even going outside except to get groceries and go to the family Christmas get-together. It was heaven, but it couldn't last because my money wouldn't last, and so I returned to the job force. My need for money outweighs the draining effect other people have on me. However, I can't speak to the second…

Loneliness can be compared to other withdrawal symptoms. People that are used to and expect a lot of social interaction enter a negative mental state to being without it.

When you don't find the social contact addicting, and do not engage in it much, you never are exposed to the "withdrawal" symptoms.

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