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Why go out?

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Re: Why go out?

#11

Post by icebraining »

cpfohl wrote: post #3

What a horribly sad way to live your life. People are no addiction, they're a necessary (and awesome) part of life. Regardless of your spiritual bent: Athiesm - We evolved from social primates into other social primates. You're adding a lot of psychological stress at a fundamental level when you don't live the way you're bred. Christianity/Judaism - God made us for community. "It is not good for Man to be alone". Bud…

As an atheist, I dislike such "spiritual bents" being forced into the concept. In no way does Atheism entail a belief* in evolution. It is merely a lack of belief in any god(s).

Also, your argument implies that every atheist views sex-change operation as necessarily bad, since they're a fundamental modification to "the way you're bred". This is certainly not true.

I find your argument uncompelling.

*Not to be confused with faith.

Re: Why go out?

#13

Post by jmduke »

drusenko wrote: post #9

This article seems to be written from a completely different perspective than my own life experiences. Perhaps it is introvert vs. extrovert, or perhaps it is something else entirely. I was called an introvert all throughout high school because I was quiet. Everyone was certain of it. I knew I wasn't an introvert because I gain energy from being around other people. When I am alone, I get tired and depressed. When I…

People have often wildly conflicting views on what it means to be an introvert.

I subscribe to the definition that an introvert is someone who primarily derives validation and worth from himself, rather than external people or stimuli -- think staying late to solve a tough problem, rather than staying late to impress a boss.

I'm definitely an extrovert, despite being relatively quiet and thriving in private situations. That being said, I still love 'going out' in the broad sense; our minds thrive on novelty, and people are definitely part of that.

Re: Why go out?

#14

Post by josiahq »

“You fight your superficiality, your shallowness, so as to try to come at people without unreal expectations, without an overload of bias or hope or arrogance, as untanklike as you can be, sans cannon and machine guns and steel plating half a foot thick; you come at them unmenacingly on your own ten toes instead of tearing up the turf with your caterpillar treads, take them on with an open mind, as equals, man to man, as we used to say, and yet you never fail to get them wrong. You might as well have the brain of a tank. You get them wrong before you meet them, while you're anticipating meeting them; you get them wrong while you're with them; and then you go home to tell somebody else about the meeting and you get them all wrong again. Since the same generally goes for them with you, the whole thing is really a dazzling illusion. ... The fact remains that getting people right is not what living is all about anyway. It's getting them wrong that is living, getting them wrong and wrong and wrong and then, on careful reconsideration, getting them wrong again. That's how we know we're alive: we're wrong. Maybe the best thing would be to forget being right or wrong about people and just go along for the ride. But if you can do that -- well, lucky you.” ― Philip Roth, American Pastoral

Re: Why go out?

#15

Post by mhartl »

cpfohl wrote: post #3

What a horribly sad way to live your life. People are no addiction, they're a necessary (and awesome) part of life. Regardless of your spiritual bent: Athiesm - We evolved from social primates into other social primates. You're adding a lot of psychological stress at a fundamental level when you don't live the way you're bred. Christianity/Judaism - God made us for community. "It is not good for Man to be alone". Bud…

People differ greatly in their appetite for social interactions vs. solitude.

  I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.  We are for
  the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our
  chambers.

  —Henry David Thoreau
Do you agree with Thoreau? Probably not. But some people do, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Re: Why go out?

#17

Post by calinet6 »

brittohalloran wrote: post #12

What I got from the article i. Childhood issues ii. Possible serious psychological disorder iii. Appreciation for my enjoyment of people

This is the correct interpretation. Congratulations!

I read the article and thought, "Wow, there are people like this?" I mean, I relate to a few of the issues, some social anxiety here and there, some wondering how I'm viewed in social groups, etc. But to this level?

Let me make this perfectly clear: I have nothing against these kinds of people. Not in the least. I know a lot of you out there will relate to this article and that's perfectly fine. Good for you.

But please, don't take it as some kind of validation or good advice. Be yourself, don't be a dick, stop worrying, get out and see the world, and live how you want to live. It is simply not as complicated as this author makes it out to be.

The advice you could take from this article is, get help if you need it. Honestly. You can get past anxieties, social and otherwise, and sometimes there are things you shouldn't just accept as "who you are." You can always better yourself.

Re: Why go out?

#18

Post by Swizec »

"Never mind, I replied, turning the key, for my curiosity surpassed my fear."

And with that the author sums it up for me. I'm curious. I want to know. So I go out.

Re: Why go out?

#19

Post by sophacles »

sp332 wrote: post #6
cpfohl wrote: post #3

What a horribly sad way to live your life. People are no addiction, they're a necessary (and awesome) part of life. Regardless of your spiritual bent: Athiesm - We evolved from social primates into other social primates. You're adding a lot of psychological stress at a fundamental level when you don't live the way you're bred. Christianity/Judaism - God made us for community. "It is not good for Man to be alone". Bud…

Regardless of your spiritual bent ... except for every religion that has solitary monks, or hermits, or walkabouts, etc.

Who are considered holy not because they aren't social, but because they are rejecting something fundamentally human in the name of $diety.

Re: Why go out?

#20

Post by sophacles »

nerdfiles wrote: post #7

I first simply want to address the smoking bit. _Something_ about smoking is habitual, or rather, not to see that a drug addiction could instantiate or engender a habit which itself re-enforces the addiction, might be the main problematic of 'quitting advice.' Rather, ignoring that cigarettes prompt a way of life only suggests to me that said advice treats an idealized person, or biological system, a model. We are no…

Abstracting a bit: this is the problem with all addiction. Ever tried to imagine never going to the pub with your pals again? Ever tried to imagine not partaking in the happy hour drinks in the office on a particularly successful friday? These events are woven into the social fabric of society and they are now off limits (at least in their fullest extent) to someone trying to kick an alcohol addiction.

A stoner trying to imagine how watch a movie or play a game with friends faces similar issues.

A cocaine addict can't imagine going dancing all night without a pick-me-up.

It isn't that any of these things are real necessarily. People don't drink at bars all the time, or play games without drugs, or dance the night away without stimulants just fine. It's that the social setting, the friends and the general expectations of one's groups are all part of the understanding. It isn't just "do the same thing without the external influence", it's "those things are built in part around the external influence". It takes a lot of lifestyle change for addicts to successfully quit. Those who aren't tend to not understand, because their social world, and their view/understanding of the world isn't built around the addiction, so it is hard for them to understand that it isn't just removal of one part of an otherwise unchanged existence.

It's terribly difficult.

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