I think it's a pretty simple, and timeless, aspect of human nature: "People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have come into the mind of others." - Blaise Pascal, 1670
Inception.
Why doesn't advice work?
71–80 of 334 posts
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#72I like the analogy of a physical trainer or coach using cues to help the trainee perform a movement correctly.
They translate their knowledge of bio-mechanics and human anatomy to sensory information a non-expert can use to take action.
I think that may be the formula: Having trust as an authority and being able to communicate actionably. Miss either one and the "consumer" won't or can't take your advice.
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#73> And for producers of advice: Step 0 I think should be "maybe don't give advice". You want to help, you think you're really good, you think it will improve things, but that's not how other people see it. They may seem like they need advice or seem like they are asking for it between the lines, but they just really want to unload or chit chat, or share some difficulty. The answer to that is sometimes to listen and no…
Im on the opposite end. I wish people gave more unsolicited advice, or at least asked if I wanted it. I look around and think there is a dearth of advice and opinions. People are so cautious about giving subjective feedback that they dont offer it at all, leading to detriment.
I think advice is an important part of a community and a support network, and am exceedingly grateful to those who have offered it to me.
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#74I think it's a pretty simple, and timeless, aspect of human nature: "People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have come into the mind of others." - Blaise Pascal, 1670
The trick is suggesting something to a person in a manner so they thought they came up with the idea itself.
Seriously, this was like the biggest epiphany I had out of my 20s. The way to convince anyone of anything isn’t to beat them over the head into submission. It’s to drop the idea off casually, let them ignore it for a while, and watch them slowly come around to this strange idea sitting around that actually seems to work…
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#75I think it's a pretty simple, and timeless, aspect of human nature: "People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have come into the mind of others." - Blaise Pascal, 1670
I wonder if the problem is that, when you give someone advice, you're not giving them the whole thought-structure you've built that strongly implies the advice - you're just giving them the result. So they don't have any of the ideas that support the advice, just a blind aphorism.
Maybe it would help to only give advice in long discussions where you show someone all the structure under the advice and then poke at it together to see where the weak spots are.
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#76Unsolicited advice is very rude and most people have no idea why they succeed at something. Please stop giving advice.
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#77It works be cool to parse advice by the amount of will power required to execute.
How can will-power be measured though?
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#78Maybe that ending question of "why won't you do obvious-thing-that-solves-the-problem?" is the best thing in the entire article. But only if you ask it literally, without irony. My guess is that each time somebody ignores a good advice, they do it for different reasons. So discovering the reason is the most impactful thing you can do.
I think that can work if they really are convinced you're not going to judge them for it. I have friends I can ask such a question; if I'm asking more distant friends or acquaintances then I'm going to make it really clear that I want to know and not use it as a springboard for expressing my own opinion.
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#79I think it's a pretty simple, and timeless, aspect of human nature: "People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have come into the mind of others." - Blaise Pascal, 1670
I wonder if the problem is that, when you give someone advice, you're not giving them the whole thought-structure you've built that strongly implies the advice - you're just giving them the result. So they don't have any of the ideas that support the advice, just a blind aphorism. Maybe it would help to only give advice in long discussions where you show someone all the structure under the advice and then poke at it…
sounds like therapy
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#80I think it's a pretty simple, and timeless, aspect of human nature: "People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have come into the mind of others." - Blaise Pascal, 1670
Clicking on the thread I expected this to be the top comment because of how low effort and high brow it is (comments write themselves around pop topics, I find). You can go so far as to skip reading the article. But there is no real way to verify it. It sounds good and gives whoever says it a sense of smugness (“pretty simple, and timeless”), but that’s about it. The person saying it has no idea either way.