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The Weird Nerd comes with trade-offs

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Re: The Weird Nerd comes with trade-offs

#81

Everyone get your bucket ready, I'm going to throw an anecdote into it. I play D&D. This exposes me to a wide variety of people, but unsurprisingly, a lot of them are probably what the author would consider Weird Nerds. Most of them are perfectly pleasant people, and I look forward to spending time in their company, both in the context of playing D&D, and just as a way to socialize. Heck, at my last session, a player…

I ask, if that person is truly unpleasant have you spoken to them about how unpleasant they are? Not to defend but how is someone to recognise a fault of their own if they're not called upon? Unless its truly terrible and they know they are doing it on purpose. The issue we live in nowadays we are all scared how to tell each other how we feel towards and that we now safe harbour them by throwing them a label and appr…

Normies don't require feedbacks to be verbally and explicitly delivered most of the time. It's the last resort path. Constantly delivering and being delivered clear and blunt express feedback is not normal. It's "sad"-"agitated" state if you ask them

It might be true that allowing minute variances between normie nonverbal feedback gatherer people to be a factor to their successes has its own problems, but encouraging everyone to drop that BS and just be offensive and blunt to make things simple is at least not a widely supported solution.

So be nice... it sometimes gets complicated to be just a nice and happy person, but you actually don't have to be a fearless warrior at all times.

Re: The Weird Nerd comes with trade-offs

#83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I ask, if that person is truly unpleasant have you spoken to them about how unpleasant they are? Not to defend but how is someone to recognise a fault of their own if they're not called upon? Unless its truly terrible and they know they are doing it on purpose. The issue we live in nowadays we are all scared how to tell each other how we feel towards and that we now safe harbour them by throwing them a label and appr…

Sometimes, yes, we talk to them. But I'm a DM, not their therapist or their dad - I'm not obligated to hand-hold someone through a radical restructuring of their personality. And, it might not surprise you to find out, some people react very badly to being criticized. And I'm not particularly interested in having an argument over my subjective opinion of a person. I just don't want to be around them anymore.

> But I'm a DM, not their therapist or their dad - I'm not obligated to hand-hold someone through a radical restructuring of their personality.

Therein lies the crux of the issue. Everyone agrees that this person needs help, but also agrees that they shouldn't feel obligated to provide it.

And so they continue on, blissfully unaware of the chafing they cause. Life goes on, and their contribution remains minimal.

Re: The Weird Nerd comes with trade-offs

#84
post #31

I didn't fully understand what the author meant by "Weird Nerd", and this bit was the key for me: > Weird Nerds (I called them autistics, but people really hated that) And I totally get why they're trying to come up with a word that markets better, and yes many people react negatively to "autist" or calling someone "on the spectrum". At the same time, man prominent people are making public their diagnostics and asser…

I think you're circling some valid points, but realistically I don't think this happens in the current climate. There's a couple of forces at play - a) it's a medical issue that people are really passionate about b) there's an ironic (or not, at times) subculture of calling oneself 'autistic' when it's just exhibiting an interest and c) there's still no 100% accurate test, not everyone will want to out themselves, et…

[deleted]

Re: The Weird Nerd comes with trade-offs

#85

As a Weird Nerd who can't get a job in the industry [1], this resonates. On one hand, I understand that I can't get a job because of my own flaws. After all, who needs a solo-only C-only [2] programmer who can't build theory of mind and thus, can't read code written by others and who refuses to prioritize employer over user? On the other hand, it is hard, and I secretly hope the industry can change so that people lik…

People like you have a lot of places to shine nowadays. Having a job/boss isn't the right way for many (much less a given).

Re: The Weird Nerd comes with trade-offs

#86
post #8

> I still stand by my association of Weird Nerds with autism, but for some reason people really do not like to call Weird Nerds autistic. I'm sorry, what , even if they're preponderant you can't just call all of them that any more than you can collectively call all basketball players "Marfan Syndrome havers"

I qualify as a weird nerd, and I'm definitely not autistic.

I don't like to call anybody autistic because it invites paternalism or even outright discrimination. I even object to using much milder labels such as "introvert."

Re: The Weird Nerd comes with trade-offs

#87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Academia pays absolutely terribly for an elite job, it's all status. You could make more than 90% of tenured professors as a manager of Buc-ee's

"Earning" doesn't necessarily come with a truly elite status job, because you're not relying on a salary to live. Having to live off a salary is lower status.

I don't understand what you're saying here.

Re: The Weird Nerd comes with trade-offs

#88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just a guess here - but to make diagnosed people feel more included and part of a group, the more people get diagnosed even if it's 0.01%, the more safe the others feel because they're not alone, it stops being a stigma

How does sifting people into smaller and smaller buckets work to make people feel more part of a group? Seems more like people who have felt marginalized in the past want others to feel marginalized like they did, and work to place people into smaller and smaller categories to do so.

And for every group there is an anti-group, another set of people for whom the group-included feel justified in feeling resentful towards in some way.

Re: The Weird Nerd comes with trade-offs

#90
> Any system that is not explicitly pro-Weird Nerd will turn anti-Weird Nerd pretty quickly.

Wow. Sure as hell feels that way.

See, I actually feel like this is happening across the Internet, too, in a different way.

Firstly, I'd consider myself some sort of "Weird Nerd" but certainly not a genius or even especially intelligent; I would be willing to indulge in the idea that my contingent and I have some unusual qualities that, while not remarkable, are still somewhat unique and indeed basically a package deal with our "other" traits.

Secondly, while "weird nerds" are prominent on the Internet of today, they're definitely struggling to keep control over their own spaces. Anyone remember forums, and have routine thoughts about how different it is from social media? I think that forums were controlled by weird nerds, and social media is clearly not, it's controlled by people who play the political games better and more often. Weird nerds are forced to try to adhere to the rules of this system, they get increasingly tired of it, burn out and start behaving erratically. I think a lot of people are deeply in denial that this is happening, and some of them may have never even known a world where it wasn't happening, so they find other reasons why.

Being driven by truth and put off by bullshit is something that I think is very core to a lot of people who are currently struggling to find anywhere to fit in. No matter how much time passes, it will never feel "right". It feels like people can only ever be their true and honest selves in small quantities, in closed groups, being careful with who to trust.

Note that this person seems to be somewhat convinced that the Internet is the best place for weird nerds, but also note that the critique they are talking about happened on X, one of the largest and most influential social websites on the Internet. I think this should speak volumes to how much weird nerds are not in control of the "rules" and narratives of the Internet right now. I'm not sure what the authors thoughts are on this (and I'm sure it's detailed in other posts if I wanted to know) but I think this is a huge battleground. It's a bit hard to see it because it's obfuscated by the broader "culture war" of the Internet, which makes it appear as if the "fight" is between two hyper-partisan groups that have completely opposite views. I think that's neither the cause nor the reality of why the Internet is full of so much strife; I think those hyper-partisan spats formed around more interesting and nuanced conflicts and overshadowed them. I hope that some day there will be a moment of clarity where everything starts to make sense...

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