I love this. Inevitably I want to make some improvements. > “He laughed with the kind of booming abandon that made the whole restaurant turn around and look.” The kind of ? If it's a kind that exists generically then we can't have a past tense, so: “He laughed with the kind of booming abandon that *makes* the whole restaurant turn around and look.” But really, why emphasise it being generic? This is better: “He laugh…
> “He laughed with a booming abandon that made the whole restaurant turn around and look.” Don't the people in the restaurant actually turn around in this sentence, whereas they didn't in the original, because it's just describing a kind of loudness with an example? > “He laughed with the kind of booming abandon that makes the whole restaurant turn around and look.”
No, the original said "made", so I think they actually turned around.