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The illusion of being stuck

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Re: The illusion of being stuck

#41

Post by benoitmalige »

sdwr wrote: post #30
rwasco wrote: post #4

> I impulssively bought a plane ticket to Panama: > I cried. Haven’t done that in years. > I had the uncomfortable conversation with my business partner to tell them I no longer have passion for it and am leaving them the decision to continue or quit. > I forced myself to talk to strangers every single day. These also could be explained by someone entering hypomania. How would you distinguish stuck/unstuck from depre…

There's a big grey area in the middle. How you want to label it is influenced by the outcome and whether you think it's a good idea. Quitting your job and flying to Central America is risky. If his life improves from there, then it was getting unstuck. If it gets worse or goes back to the same, then it was a manic episode. History written by the victors!

Well said. And for clarification, it was not a job but the business I started 6 years ago. More rencent update: The trip gave me a new perspective and I shifted the business model, rather than shutting it down.

Re: The illusion of being stuck

#42

Post by throwaway11460 »

cess11 wrote: post #12

"Here's the problem: Your brain and its cortical columns are designed to conserve energy at all costs." How does this model explain substance addiction? 'You need to consciously and repetitively seek out "False" signals and embrace the discomfort they bring. You need to construct a new reality.' Much like the 'why aren't you growing? you need to grow. grow!' sentiment in the beginning this seems more in line with som…

Substance addiction is free reward with no effort at all. Sounds like it fits!

Re: The illusion of being stuck

#43

Post by ufocia »

oskapt wrote: post #23
hyperhello wrote: post #2

Just a tip, it’s actually “break free”, not “brake free”.

And it also isn’t “dreadfull.” I am very skeptical of taking any advice from a person unable to use basic spell checking before publishing an article. I’m also skeptical of advice from someone who has only recently discovered a possible solution for his very personal problems and feels he should share it with the world. In the 12-step world there are people who only do the first and last steps. They’re called two-ste…

> two-steppers ... “we admitted we were powerless, that our lives had become unmanageable, and having had a spiritual awakening, we told everyone else how to fix their lives.”

LOL, though it may be the starting point of all the self-help systems, which later evolve iteratively adding intermediate steps.

Re: The illusion of being stuck

#44

Post by benoitmalige »

maroonblazer wrote: post #6
rwasco wrote: post #4

> I impulssively bought a plane ticket to Panama: > I cried. Haven’t done that in years. > I had the uncomfortable conversation with my business partner to tell them I no longer have passion for it and am leaving them the decision to continue or quit. > I forced myself to talk to strangers every single day. These also could be explained by someone entering hypomania. How would you distinguish stuck/unstuck from depre…

3 of those 4 - crying, having an uncomfortable conversation, and talking to strangers - don't seem like symptoms of hypomania. The impulsive plane ticket to Panama is questionable too. We'd need to know a LOT more about the individual to make the leap from that to a disorder.

You’re right, those actions by themselves don’t necessarily point to hypomania—they’re just snippets of a larger journey.

Panama was indeed just the beginning; the real journey has been internal—navigating the landscapes of self-discovery and learning to process my thoughts through writing.

Your comment is much appreciated; it’s all part of the conversation about understanding ourselves better. So thank you for that.

Re: The illusion of being stuck

#45

Post by benoitmalige »

mikewarot wrote: post #38

Knowledge of the illusion can be enough to help you route around it. You can not escape from a prison you don't know you're in.

Absolutely, awareness is the first step towards change.Thanks for that insight, it's a valuable addition to the idea of mental barriers and personal growth.

Re: The illusion of being stuck

#46

Post by dylnuge »

ufocia wrote: post #34
noufalibrahim wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a very nuanced take. I dont take offense to using "techniques" to fix "problems". I'm more annoyed by the usual phrasing of these things as life changing and revelatory.

> I'm more annoyed by the usual phrasing of these things as life changing and revelatory. Maybe it's time to unstick yourself from these patterns. Life changing and revelatory can be as much evolutionary as revolutionary. There's no need to narrow them down to their extremes.

I suspect they're taking issue with the implication that these things are universally life changing, not that they can be meaningful at all. I have no doubt the author of this article uncovered personal truths, but the whole thing is framed as if they become an expert on everyone else's mental health by breaking free from their own depression.

Personally for navel-gazy articles like this I think it's more useful to focus on telling one's own story instead of making broad edicts and sprinkling in some science in an effort to lend legitimacy to them. What works for one person won't work for everyone, but "I was in X situation and did Y and it helped me" is far more likely to be helpful for someone else than simply "Do Y", especially when you're writing for a wide audience.

Re: The illusion of being stuck

#47

Post by benoitmalige »

navane wrote: post #18

So this guy had all the opportunities, choose to spend his time to herd clicks for some big corps, finds out it's an empty life and suggests to do things like "but a plane ticket to Panama" to get unstuck. Sometimes your therapist asks you to write a letter but you're supposed to keep those in your drawer.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. My writing is a method for me to navigate and clarify my own journey of introspection and growth. "You" is often a reflection of myself in the mirror of words. Whether it strikes a chord with others is a welcome bonus, but not the end goal.

The essence of my message stems from a personal revelation: after dedicating six years to a company I built from the ground up, I realized I was losing myself in the pursuit of success.

It’s not about wandering aimlessly for profit; it's about the quest for meaningful work and rediscovering the parts of myself that got buried in the hustle.

Re: The illusion of being stuck

#48

Post by gumby »

noufalibrahim wrote: post #22
card_zero wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did you know, the brain is hard-wired to be suckered by self-help books? One trick that I personally find very liberating and enlightening is to make a big pile of such material and burn it. It gives me a sense of warmth and inner joy.

Isn't the combustion external? Why would the warmth be internal?

“Burn” is a commonplace synonym for oxidization, that is, adding an electron. Likely the GP is “eating the books, and thus is warmed as a consequence of the Krebs cycle.

We can be glad for GP that these days it is uncommon to encounter a book with a CD or DVD attached. I’m not sure those are safe to eat.

Re: The illusion of being stuck

#49

Post by benoitmalige »

thyrox wrote: post #7

Is there survivor bias in being stuck? We have accepted that people who leap out of their comfort zone end up always successful. But a lot of time this is not true. I know few people who have regretted jumping and making impulsive decision in the name of growth.

Good point. Nothing is without risk, and it doesn't always lead to success. Every jump, impulsive or calculated, has its own set of outcomes and consequences, and it's important to consider both sides.

Re: The illusion of being stuck

#50

Post by ufocia »

FlyingSnake wrote: post #36
rors wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Over the last few months I've been experimenting with Buddhist meditation, which leans heavily into this metaphor. They phrase the metaphor differently, with a focus on flattening of the grooves in your mind. I've found these ideas helpful, but they're hardly novel. The Buddha lived over 2000 years ago. One big difference the objective. Most of these blogs are about hacking your mind to be more successful, whereas re…

It is also a folly to equate Buddhist traditions with Self help book sellers. Siddhartha Gautam Buddha was just one of the 6 other prevalent Dharmic masters and there enough original material from many of those traditions. The Dharmic traditions arose over centuries through a healthy collaboration of diverse set of people over a vast geography.

True, the Dharmic masters didn't have printing presses.
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