This doesn't pass my sniff test. The results are based on what people say about who "looks powerful" but didn't put people in a position where they actually give power to them . "Look what people do rather than what they say" is very relevant here. Reject and resubmit
Self-control signals and affords power
21–30 of 137 posts
Re: Self-control signals and affords power
#22Earlier quoted context omitted.
Is there any way to disagree with this comment without being disregarded as resentful? Good work is the key to good fortune / Winners take that praise / Losers seldom take that blame
Disagree? It's ad copy promoting a self-help book.
I have no affiliation with the author of the book and stand to gain nothing from helping others. I still stand by my choice of The Daily Stoic. I resented the thought of reading self help books because my pride led me to believe that if I read a self help book, I was admitting I was weak. That said, the reason for the book is simple: the book is intended to take a year to read, one page at a time. I wake up each day and the first thing I do is open the Books app on my iPhone, load up The Daily Stoic and read the days entry. It takes me 2-3 minutes and reminds me why I am chasing self-discipline. I have done this every day faithfully for three years. I hate to admit, but a page was as much as I was personally able to commit myself to, a full book was too much for my pride to handle at first. So if you’re like me and can’t make time for a full book, I ask you to make time for a single page per day.
In fact I will double down on this book so much, that I will personally buy a copy for anyone who sends me an email cory@linux.com. No one will know you asked for a copy and I ask for nothing in return.
Re: Self-control signals and affords power
#23This is something I've noticed in myself and I'm glad there's research to back this, although this is an open secret to those who do master self-control. I've spent the last three to four years working on self-control and discipline after I hit rock bottom in my life and realized I had no self-agency. For me, having greater self-control led me to ensure I can focus on providing value where it matters in my life, and…
> less prone to get "bullied" by other managers into doing work for them and you can stand up more for your team
This is the real key. Management is about controlling others and not letting others control you without compensation.
> I would personally trust others who have self-control more than those who don't for time-sensitive and critical tasks because I can rely on them to regulate their emotions and give honest answers, as well as hold themselves accountable.
Of course you would, and if they wanted to be in your shoes they would do well to learn mastery over others as well as you have.
Learning the language of self-control may be a path to that, especially if you have not heard it before. However, it can also be a path to being controlled, as in your example. I grew up in a conservative environment, so that was my problem: I was heavily indoctrinated in the language of self-control, responsibility, and accountability, and these made me easy to exploit. My own "red pill" moment involved understanding these as tools of power rather than facts of the world, thereby freeing myself to better represent my own interests.
Re: Self-control signals and affords power
#24Earlier quoted context omitted.
Is there any way to disagree with this comment without being disregarded as resentful? Good work is the key to good fortune / Winners take that praise / Losers seldom take that blame
Disagree? It's ad copy promoting a self-help book.
Good call. The author of this book is a marketer and "media strategist," with an obvious focus on social media. He was great at plastering subtle ads all over relevant threads and subs over on reddit. Nice to know that he too has figure out reddit has gone to shit and is also looking for greener pastures..
Re: Self-control signals and affords power
#25Interesting. Maybe I should try to get more done by having more self control
Re: Self-control signals and affords power
#26"Some set an ambitious goal of reading 200 pages each week, while others set a more moderate goal of reading 50 pages per week. All of these individuals read the same amount – 100 pages – but those who didn’t meet their goal were seen as less powerful by study participants." Under-promise, over-deliver.
Elon Musk appears to be a counter-example...
Musk has lost a massive amount of credibility because of failing to deliver on most of the self-proclaimed potential of his businesses—basically, all of them outside of the potential of SpaceX, and even there he should be grateful the perceived value of the company isn't tied to going to mars.
Re: Self-control signals and affords power
#27This is something I've noticed in myself and I'm glad there's research to back this, although this is an open secret to those who do master self-control. I've spent the last three to four years working on self-control and discipline after I hit rock bottom in my life and realized I had no self-agency. For me, having greater self-control led me to ensure I can focus on providing value where it matters in my life, and…
I read somewhere: "The first thought you have in reaction to something is a mirror of how you were brought up, the second thought is a mirror of who you are".
So the defining thing isn't reacting to a shiny thing, it is what you do after that initial thought and whether you can see yourself falling in the ever-same traps and do something against it.
Re: Self-control signals and affords power
#28This is something I've noticed in myself and I'm glad there's research to back this, although this is an open secret to those who do master self-control. I've spent the last three to four years working on self-control and discipline after I hit rock bottom in my life and realized I had no self-agency. For me, having greater self-control led me to ensure I can focus on providing value where it matters in my life, and…
> ...making excuses when you read this article for why the power hierarchy is against you, or that there is bias in the results
> ...this post triggered you
Definitely the language choices of an unbiased perspective from someone who doesn't have an axe to grind
Re: Self-control signals and affords power
#29This is something I've noticed in myself and I'm glad there's research to back this, although this is an open secret to those who do master self-control. I've spent the last three to four years working on self-control and discipline after I hit rock bottom in my life and realized I had no self-agency. For me, having greater self-control led me to ensure I can focus on providing value where it matters in my life, and…
> ...making excuses when you read this article for why the power hierarchy is against you, or that there is bias in the results > ...this post triggered you Definitely the language choices of an unbiased perspective from someone who doesn't have an axe to grind
Are these words really that verboten now?
Re: Self-control signals and affords power
#30This is something I've noticed in myself and I'm glad there's research to back this, although this is an open secret to those who do master self-control. I've spent the last three to four years working on self-control and discipline after I hit rock bottom in my life and realized I had no self-agency. For me, having greater self-control led me to ensure I can focus on providing value where it matters in my life, and…
> less prone to get "bullied" by other managers into doing work for them and you can stand up more for your team This is the real key. Management is about controlling others and not letting others control you without compensation. > I would personally trust others who have self-control more than those who don't for time-sensitive and critical tasks because I can rely on them to regulate their emotions and give honest…
>I was heavily indoctrinated in the language of self-control, responsibility, and accountability, and these made me easy to exploit. My own "red pill" moment involved understanding these as tools of power rather than facts of the world, thereby freeing myself to better represent my own interests.
Can you give some clearer examples? I am curious how this is done in those circles.