371–380 of 434 posts
The cruelest thing of all is that, technically speaking, his son is still alive. I’d imagine this to be far more torturous. I have lost many close family members, but they all lost their biological lives. This just seems to be one of the worst experiences you could go through.
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It was a flamewar comment whether you intended to post more or not. "Toleration of conflict" in that quote is hardly saying that people should just inflict whatever they like on each other!
Of course not. That's your prerogative alone! I also find it interesting that my other comment was also flagged and no one can read it. So much for your veneer of respect for the necessity of conflict... I have no intention of continuing this thread with you now. If you want to ban me do so. There's nothing I can do about it and you'll get your dopamine boost from exercising your limited power. I still remember many…
> I still remember many years ago when someone in a thread
If you're going to post that sort of thing, you should supply the link, so readers can make up their own minds.
Btw if you want to understand that Milner quote, you need to assess it as a whole. The key words are "toleration" and "solutions". It's not celebrating crude conflict.
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Except if you get the disease and then cry about it and woe is me instead of taking the medicine.... then that's apparently the only course of action? What. So you're saying if we cured cancer people would still willingly die of cancer because it's "too hard" to take the right approach to curing it?
There is no medicine here. Some problems don't have a solution. Some aren't even amenable to compromise. Sometimes compromise is even worse. It sucks but it's the truth.
The truth is that there is medicine you can take, you just don't want to because it tastes bad.
It's okay if you want to trick yourself into hurting yourself, but don't act like it's not an option.
This problem may not always have a solution, but there are ways to minimise the problem and they're achievable by every single person.
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All hard things worth doing are. What's your point? Don't do anything worth doing because it's hard? I have both said and done. It's better for you than integrating the trauma into your personality and by extension your life.
Your GP feels a bit flippant, regardless of whether it is or not.
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All hard things worth doing are. What's your point? Don't do anything worth doing because it's hard? I have both said and done. It's better for you than integrating the trauma into your personality and by extension your life.
"Integrating the trauma into your personality and by extension your life" isn't optional. Biologically, the trauma changed both your body and your mind. Your neurological and endocrine systems do not respond to stimuli as they would have if you had not experienced the trauma. It's highly analogous to a deeply damaging physical wound. It is part of you now, whether you want it to be or not. You can't undo it, and deny…
You can't undo it, but you can live with it and not let it fester.
No one is talking about denial. My comments mention acceptance...
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All hard things worth doing are. What's your point? Don't do anything worth doing because it's hard? I have both said and done. It's better for you than integrating the trauma into your personality and by extension your life.
> integrating the trauma into your personality and by extension your life. You were not wrong here and to be honest 9 hours later I feel ashamed to have made the original comment and no disrespect to the author obviously. I’ve been having a few bad days lately and what the author and his family are going through took me back to a time when I thought could relate not as the author but someone as a family member who wa…
No one cares if you comment about yourself. People support those that talk about themselves but apparently they support people harming themselves like you continue to do.
It makes me ashamed to think that you're being guided by these absolutely abhorrent people in this thread. You can help yourself. Don't let them stop you.
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No, the alternative is working through it, processing it, and integrating it into your story of yourself as something you've overcome. "Letting it go" lands the same as "excise it from your life," which isn't possible. Your body and your mind were shaped by it whether you wanted them to be or not. You have to find a way to integrate it or you'll just keep fighting a losing battle for the rest of your life.
Sorry, but "integrating it into your story" sounds a lot like forcing victimhood down yourself unnecessarily. It is unfair - both to the present and future you, and to everyone around you who had no hand in the tragedy. Wounds heal and leave behind negligible scars that don't hurt the same; they don't shape your body and mind unless you keep "processing" them and make them fester.
Wow. Now I know why there is so much resentment towards beneficial growth outwards from trauma.... dang is insane.
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> Find some things in your life to be grateful for and dwell on them, it is impossible to feel sorrow and gratitude at the same time. Any advice on how to do this one. Recently I have been Noticing how no matter how many Good things I do in a year once they’re over they don’t really bring positive feelings the same way that the bad things pop up and make them selves dwelled upon.
There is really no tricks to do this, anyone who says otherwise is lying. We are not designed to "feel happy" we are designed to reproduce successfully . Don't strive to be happy all the time. I am sure even dalai lama has a nagging inner voice thats harshing his buzz all the time. All the stuff these folks preach is just entertainment. Inner voice has been conditioned by evolution, food, famine, floods, climate, cul…
It does.
I have to say I'm really humbled to suddenly see this on the front page. Today was a particularly hard day; I won't go into details but taking care of a permanently disabled invalid involves a lot of ups and downs and some fairly messy manual labor to keep them comfortable and in good shape. I love you all. Hug your kids if you have em. EDIT: The above blog post here was one of three things I wrote in the immediate a…