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Losing my son

fortressofdoors.com

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Re: Losing my son

#141

Post by tharakam »

larsiusprime wrote: post #48

I have to say I'm really humbled to suddenly see this on the front page. Today was a particularly hard day; I won't go into details but taking care of a permanently disabled invalid involves a lot of ups and downs and some fairly messy manual labor to keep them comfortable and in good shape. I love you all. Hug your kids if you have em. EDIT: The above blog post here was one of three things I wrote in the immediate a…

Thanks for sharing your story. I want to acknowledge you we feel your devastation. Accept my virtual hugs. I wish peace and harmony to you, your family, and your son.

Re: Losing my son

#142

Post by antman »

pattesseriedude wrote: post #86
antman wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Terrible situation but nice that you are aware and that you suggested for him to turn to family. Needed in similar situation so and I understand it has become quite common or at least people have been more aware recently regarding trauma and cptsd (and the nightmares). For those who have in their life people with emergencies due e.g. emotional flashbacks let me put this here: https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/first…

Thank you for the suggestion. I am immediately adding the book to kindle and will start reading it today itself. I once read a suggestion about 4 years ago called 'The Body Keeps the Score' on a reddit thread. I was unable to finish that book because it was just too much for me given I could relate so much to it but adding that to the thread as that book was very important for me to understand many things for me.

It is the most famous, that is why I did not mention it, you are not alone that it’s triggering. Here is other people that felt so for example: https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/a93qs7/reading_the_b...

Re: Losing my son

#143

Post by givemeethekeys »

Hi Lars, Maybe what was needed all along for valuation software was a game developer's touch.

My greatest satisfaction when it comes to writing software comes from making my users happy - especially those users who've felt neglected.

Gamers are a spoiled bunch. There are so many good games, and so much other great entertainment and music on top of it =).

The inability to travel is something VR will help alleviate. Not the same as actually being there, but still, it will get people that much closer to it.

Re: Losing my son

#144

Post by Tomrn »

larsiusprime wrote: post #48

I have to say I'm really humbled to suddenly see this on the front page. Today was a particularly hard day; I won't go into details but taking care of a permanently disabled invalid involves a lot of ups and downs and some fairly messy manual labor to keep them comfortable and in good shape. I love you all. Hug your kids if you have em. EDIT: The above blog post here was one of three things I wrote in the immediate a…

Thanks for sharing your story, God bless you and your family.

Re: Losing my son

#145

Post by wholinator2 »

mckn1ght wrote: post #120
Jare wrote: post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is an amazing writeup. I have lived the past 10 years in a situation with many parallels to yours, and at the same time unimaginably different. When you say "It's not hard" you hit on one of the things I've always found difficulty to tell people. It's not hard, because it's the only thing to do. That certainty means it's painful, tiring, and many other things; but not hard. My experience is that it only becomes…

> contemplate alternatives, imagine things being different, or daydream of a different life I lost my mother over 23 years ago, and one of the the hardest things for the longest while was anytime I would travel somewhere amazing, whether a city or country or the top of a mountain, knowing I'm seeing something she never saw, but might have, and what a kick she'd get out of it. It's always been in the back of my mind.…

Same. My mom was so unbelievably excited about eventually having grandchildren, it was one of her biggest desires after she'd lost her job and stayed home to take care of my various illnesses. She passed 2 years and 2 days ago. She had a long and... there still aren't words to describe the absolute horror. But i stayed there because i was the only one who could work from home and who could stay positive in the face of the impossible.

By the time i realized i should've been having every conversation possible she could no longer speak well, it just went one day, i have a recording of her struggling but i don't think i could ever bring myself to listen.

One new thing that's cropped up is thinking how much she'd enjoy some new youtube video i saw, or how funny she'd think a new "advertising photoshop fails" subreddit would be. And yeah, the grandchildren. There's a strong possibly she will have never even met my future wife. She didn't see my brother get married. She won't see me get aPhD. She was 60 and was there for so many things but the cycle just keeps moving on.

Life simply takes things, we're the ones who think we deserve them. The fact that we're anything at all is the greatest gift and the greatest pain. But i believe Tolkien said, "What punishments of God are not gifts"

Re: Losing my son

#146

Post by robertlagrant »

usui wrote: post #119
reactordev wrote: post #16

As a parent who has lost a son - I feel this immensely. At least you can see his face. That’s more than I can say for mine. He’ll forever be 12 years old to me. What helped me was giving back. I’m sure the road ahead will be hard, but don’t give up.

[flagged]

The original piece was good at emphasising that enforcing extemporaneous politeness rules around what you're allowed to say to people in different situations wasn't a priority for the author.

Re: Losing my son

#147

Post by dingdingdang »

larsiusprime wrote: post #48

I have to say I'm really humbled to suddenly see this on the front page. Today was a particularly hard day; I won't go into details but taking care of a permanently disabled invalid involves a lot of ups and downs and some fairly messy manual labor to keep them comfortable and in good shape. I love you all. Hug your kids if you have em. EDIT: The above blog post here was one of three things I wrote in the immediate a…

Thanks a lot for that write-up. Sent a very heartfelt prayer for your son. Life is hard beyond measure sometimes. Will give my daughter an extra hug when she is done with kindergarten later today; that much is for sure.

Re: Losing my son

#148

Post by h4l0 »

I read it all through. Yes, there are no words. But seeing "Sign up for more like this." form at the end was so confusing.

Re: Losing my son

#149

Post by chrishare »

larsiusprime wrote: post #48

I have to say I'm really humbled to suddenly see this on the front page. Today was a particularly hard day; I won't go into details but taking care of a permanently disabled invalid involves a lot of ups and downs and some fairly messy manual labor to keep them comfortable and in good shape. I love you all. Hug your kids if you have em. EDIT: The above blog post here was one of three things I wrote in the immediate a…

Thank you for sharing. As a new father myself, my heart goes out to you and your family.

Re: Losing my son

#150

Post by dartharva »

WizardClickBoy wrote: post #78
seoulmetro wrote: post #59

[flagged]

Telling victims of trauma that they are "allowing something external to defeat you daily" comes perilously close to blaming the victim, doesn't it?

But.. what else can you even say? The alternative is remaining in misery for the rest of your life. And internalising your pain into a characteristic of your personality is among the worst ways to process it.
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