The Buddhists were right about something. Life is suffering. I gotta stop writing here before I get too nihilistic. The posted article and some of the stories here are tragic. I wish I had something better to say.
Losing my son
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Re: Losing my son
#72I have to say I'm really humbled to suddenly see this on the front page. Today was a particularly hard day; I won't go into details but taking care of a permanently disabled invalid involves a lot of ups and downs and some fairly messy manual labor to keep them comfortable and in good shape. I love you all. Hug your kids if you have em. EDIT: The above blog post here was one of three things I wrote in the immediate a…
My love to your family too, Lars.
That you’re finding so much comfort and resilience in your faith is an inspiration, and may God bless you all as you care for each other moving forward.
Re: Losing my son
#73[flagged]
Much, much easier said than done.
Re: Losing my son
#74My son passed May 10 2018; I was drunk from May 11 2018 until sometime in 2022 with struggles off and on. I’d love to chat about the insane level of grief I experienced and maybe help or just listen. Come find me if you’d like.
I've come to understand that parents who have lost a child often face significant challenges in maintaining their relationship. Could you offer advice for such parents, both for before and after experiencing this tragic event, on how they can stay united and prevent further losses in their lives? Additionally, are there circumstances where it might be healthier for them not to stay together?
Re: Losing my son
#75> And honestly, at this point crying feels good. Crying isn't really when I feel like I'm suffering the most
Although I have not experienced anything even remotely as horrible as what the author has, I can still relate to this. I've been exposed to enough frustration and injustice over long enough periods of time that I can't cry about anything anymore. Last time I cried, I must have run out of tears mid-way through because I actually started chuckling at my own misfortune. I guess maybe my problems are in fact trivial in the grand scheme of things.
Re: Losing my son
#76[deleted]
Re: Losing my son
#77My son passed May 10 2018; I was drunk from May 11 2018 until sometime in 2022 with struggles off and on. I’d love to chat about the insane level of grief I experienced and maybe help or just listen. Come find me if you’d like.
I’m deeply sorry that this happened to you both and, for whatever it’s worth to you, I’ll pray for you and your son today.
I couldn’t and wouldn’t pretend to understand what you’re going through - I’m just a stranger on the Internet that hopes that with time your struggles ease and you’re able to find a way forward.
God bless you both.
Re: Losing my son
#78[flagged]
Telling victims of trauma that they are "allowing something external to defeat you daily" comes perilously close to blaming the victim, doesn't it?
Re: Losing my son
#79I've recently become a father to a son as well, and it's so difficult to imagine the magnitude of loss. We've already poured so much love into him and received so much, the thought of losing him is beyond heartbreaking. Then multiply that by 7 years and...like you said, unfathomable.
Your approach to the situation is inspiring. I honestly don't know what we'd do in this situation, but I like to think we'd find a way to continue loving him even with the understanding he'll never come back.
On a much smaller scale, I have an orchid plant my wife gave me, and the bloom from the store quickly died out. I've kept watering it every week, for the past 3 years. It's bloomed once since, interestingly enough when my wife & I agreed to get married, but since then nothing. My wife has asked me a few times why I don't throw it away, but at this point it's a part of us, until it naturally expires.
Re: Losing my son
#80I feel like that’s literally my worst nightmare.
So I’m going to feel sad for a bit, give you my best wishes, and then try as hard as possible to forget I ever read this and to purge the idea that it could ever happen to me.
It’ll be hard enough if it does. No need to worry about it beforehand.