ADHD is a neurological impairment, less developed hardware. Less severe ADHD can be self managed and possibly even become a strength through learned self-discipline. People tend to think of ADHD as a focus issue. It’s more of a memory issue with corresponding compensation behaviors. Extreme ADHD is like watching the movie Memento, except the focal span is condensed from 5 minutes down to about 12-25 seconds and only…
It’s why it tends to show up in early childhood, and ‘get better’ as they get older and learn how to defend themselves and avoid the destructive people and environments that are gaslighting them into doing things that are decompensating for them (actually, for everyone - which is why normal people are often not in those environments). Or not, if they aren’t allowed to leave.
It’s also why the medication ‘stops working’ sometimes - the problem folks in the environment ramp up the abuse until the target is back in the confused/can’t remember what is going on state where they can be controlled.
When in an actually good environment, and directed in a way that they can/will do the things they need to do to take care of themselves appropriately, all of the memory issues, emotional regulation issues, etc. become quite manageable or even disappear. There is often a lot of PTSD though, which requires special help.
The challenge is that when abuse and destruction is present (but ‘not allowed to be seen’) from an early age, people develop protective blind spots for it.
It’s normal and ‘not abuse’, near as they can tell. And narcissistic abuse is all about not being seen - at least by anyone who can or will do anything about it.
And if it’s a parent doing it, seeing it requires rejecting a caregiver and role model - not an easy or often safe thing to do.
Depending on how long it was ongoing though, it could be years or decades to recover.