Earlier quoted context omitted.
Statistically, you've met many. So either they just didn't feel the need to bring it up, or they felt a specific need to avoid the subject in front of you.
Based on what statistics?
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How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?
81–90 of 181 posts
Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?
#82> How Did Polyamory Become So Popular? Housing prices. Seriously. Polyamory is on the rise, and divorces are at a 50-year low[0]. This isn't a coincidence. Where a couple would have divorced in the past, it now is financially infeasible in many cases. Living with a partner you're no longer compatible sucks, but not being able to afford rent sucks worse. So couples are pulling out all the stops to be not-divorced, inc…
I see the correlation but I don’t think I buy the causation on this one. Evidence required.
Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?
#83I wonder how middle-aged couples deal with the sexual desires. Numerous reports, let alone anecdotes and shows, mentioned that couples with each other for many years lost sexual desire towards each other, while their libido still flowed free. To quote one of such publications: "Sexual arousal and desire appear to decrease in response to partner familiarity and increase in response to partner novelty". I guess it's a…
I've always found this really sad to think about. I'm attracted to my partner and I'd like to stay this way indefinitely, but I'm also aware my own biology isn't on my side. I really hope we figure out ways (medicine? mind tricks? fork in the brain?) to keep the candle burning in the long term.
Medicine makes one hard but does nothing to increase desire.
Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?
#84I think people are confusing poly with open. Open is just consensually fucking other people typically without any commitment. Poly is basically a serious relationship with multiple people. The biggest challenge to real poly is dealing with legit feelings of jealousy, commitment, loyalty, authenticity… I think they two are confused often.
It doesn’t help that the article itself mixes in the concept of threesomes with poly. One is, in the usage I have encountered so far, refers to a sex act with three people, while the other is a relationship type.
You can have a poly relationship without ever having more than two people in the same bedroom at the same time. And of course you can have a threesome without being in a polyamorous relationship.
Mixing the two concepts does not help clarity at all.
Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?
#85> How Did Polyamory Become So Popular? Housing prices. Seriously. Polyamory is on the rise, and divorces are at a 50-year low[0]. This isn't a coincidence. Where a couple would have divorced in the past, it now is financially infeasible in many cases. Living with a partner you're no longer compatible sucks, but not being able to afford rent sucks worse. So couples are pulling out all the stops to be not-divorced, inc…
That's a fairly dark view and I think a misunderstanding of what polyamory is. Couples looking to non-monogamy to solve their relationship issues is not what polyamory is, that's not healthy. Non-monogamy != Polyamory, ethical or otherwise. While polyamory takes many forms, all of them include mutual respect and communication between partners. Polyamory is having love for one or more individuals and actively being in a relationship with those individuals. I don't think you can ever expect one person to be everything, and I think for some polyamory is an alternative to leaving needs unfulfilled.
Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?
#86I wonder how middle-aged couples deal with the sexual desires. Numerous reports, let alone anecdotes and shows, mentioned that couples with each other for many years lost sexual desire towards each other, while their libido still flowed free. To quote one of such publications: "Sexual arousal and desire appear to decrease in response to partner familiarity and increase in response to partner novelty". I guess it's a…
That's more or less what got my wife started in it, not lacking attraction to one another, but wondering about others. We loved each other to bits (still do in fact!) but we'd only ever had each other in that way. We were curious. Started as swinging, but eventually we settled more into poly with a dedicated side piece for each of us that we have strong feelings for too. For us at least, it's completely normal to be…
I totally get your perspective but what I don’t understand is these two other individuals. Are they actually happy being second best? Do they know/think they’re second best? Possibly you’re going to tell me they’re not second best and the love is equal? I think all of you have a preference and equality is impossible, but I’m willing to hear that position out.
I’m sure it’s fun, my feeling is that these situations are often fun for some of the participants but aren’t fun or become quite hellish for others. Obviously I’ve no statistics but it seems to end badly more often than not. As do most relationships, admittedly.
Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?
#87Is it really that popular? I've never met a single polyamorous person in my entire life, they just seem very vocal on the internet.
I’ve met a few. They didn’t work out long term, but I don’t know if it was the polyamory at fault…
Theoretically, it sounds great, but in practice it seems very hard unless your bond is better than most couples’.
Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?
#88I’m convinced this is the next big legal/political marriage change after gay marriage. Though, this one might be a bit harder for developers. I imagine most government databases are setup to assume a 1-to-1 marriage relationship rather than a many-to-many relationship.
Does a government really need a database of marriages? IRS is the only agency I can think of, but they probably don’t need to put it in a database. I’m probably missing something though.
Sure. They need the info for handling inheritance, to handle disputes around divorces and also for rights around medical information and decision making when one is incapacitated.
Probably there are other reasons too.
Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?
#89Earlier quoted context omitted.
The risk of STDs in a closed poly relationship isn't any different than a closed monogamous relationship.
That's just false. More people equals more risk. It's evident if you imagine a 100 person polycule.
The key word of my statement is "closed". If none of your partners have an STI, and none of you are promiscuous, your risk is low.
That said: It's important to know your status, even if you're monogamous.
Re: How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?
#90Earlier quoted context omitted.
The risk of STDs in a closed poly relationship isn't any different than a closed monogamous relationship.
That's just false. More people equals more risk. It's evident if you imagine a 100 person polycule.
Polyamory requires communication and consent, a healthy polycule is no different than a healthy monogamous relationship when it comes to the expectation that your partner(s) will care for their sexual health and make decisions with you in mind. In one way you are correct, more people involved means an increased possibility that someone will be dishonest or take risks that will expose you. However, in the same way that bringing an STD into a monogamous relationship has consequences so would bringing an STD into a polyamorous relationship. You risk damaging your standing in the relationship.