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The diamond world takes radical steps to stop a pricing plunge

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Re: The diamond world takes radical steps to stop a pricing plunge

#261

Post by atleastoptimal »

xivzgrev wrote: post #46
brink wrote: post #3

I would like to take this moment to thank https://diamondssuck.com/ for preventing me from buying my wife a diamond, and getting her a much prettier moissanite instead. It's been on hn's front page several times.

Guys, buying diamonds, can complain all day about what a rip off it is (it is). But if you apprise your fiancé of the alternatives / opp costs (moissanite, man made, second hand, etc) and she still wants a new diamond, just get her a new diamond. It will make her happy for years. My wife had her heart set on a pink diamond, so that’s what I got her. I made it clear though that if I got this, she is not getting a new…

I wouldn't marry anyone whose happiness is dependent on a artificially expensive hard and shiny rock whose prestige was inflated for years by an industry built on slave labor, especially when far less expensive alternatives exist.

If she is apprised of the alternatives and still demands "No I want EXPENSIVE shiny thing" then it's cultural shaming factoring into the decision making. You have to reevaluate what she sees you as: an actual human being, or a provider mannequin whose validity as a partner depends on subjecting yourself to arbitrary ceremonial consumerist prostrations.

Re: The diamond world takes radical steps to stop a pricing plunge

#262

Post by wolverine876 »

xivzgrev wrote: post #46
brink wrote: post #3

I would like to take this moment to thank https://diamondssuck.com/ for preventing me from buying my wife a diamond, and getting her a much prettier moissanite instead. It's been on hn's front page several times.

Guys, buying diamonds, can complain all day about what a rip off it is (it is). But if you apprise your fiancé of the alternatives / opp costs (moissanite, man made, second hand, etc) and she still wants a new diamond, just get her a new diamond. It will make her happy for years. My wife had her heart set on a pink diamond, so that’s what I got her. I made it clear though that if I got this, she is not getting a new…

> if you apprise your fiancé of the alternatives / opp costs

What a romantic! I recommend not apprising your fiance of anything, but working to understand them and make your engagement as joyful and loving as possible.

> I made it clear though that if I got this, she is not getting a new one for a long time (she has a tendency to want to rent / sample / change things up).

Is she 12 years old? Is it legal to marry someone that age? :) I hope she said, 'oh, yes dear, whatever you say', and went out and bought another the next day.

But I'm guessing you didn't say actually that to your spouse. I hope you said something like, 'I'm a bit worried about our budget for such things'. Unless it was for your engagement, and then I hope you didn't say a thing.

> Guys, buying diamonds, can complain all day about what a rip off it is (it is).

People buy similarly useless crap all the time, like cars that are more expensive than they need. Why is her preference any less legitimate, why does it need any more excuse, than any other? The only argument I see is, it's not your preference.

Re: The diamond world takes radical steps to stop a pricing plunge

#263

Post by callalex »

pbj1968 wrote: post #49

These threads are always great for men posting about how their wives love the imitation stones “just as much” and “I didn’t foolishly spend money.” As always, if it worked for your marriage, it worked, but many of us can sniff out a fake from across the room. And it will always look tacky and cheap and she will be wearing it, in theory, the rest of her life. I have visited exactly one jeweler in my life that set man…

Do you agree with the statement “a person with more money is inherently better than a person with less money”? What about the statement “money is distributed in a completely perfect, correct, and just manner”?

Re: The diamond world takes radical steps to stop a pricing plunge

#264

Post by defrost »

amrocha wrote: post #256
throwaway2037 wrote: post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In 2023, the diamond mining industry in South Africa and Botswana is pretty clean, treats workers well, and pays good wages. I cannot answer for other countries in Africa, but you can be very specific about the origin of your diamond when buying it.

Even if it's "clean" relative to worse places, it's still not ethical. Mining is still dangerous work. The workers are still underpaid. The profits are still stolen by companies that are literally the vestiges of European colonialism.

There are a lot of diamond mines, many in Canada, a number in Australia, there are a number that are mobile marine based ventures with state of the art ships sucking in sediments and sifting for diamonds.

https://edition.cnn.com/2018/09/03/africa/marine-diamond-min...

None of your comments applies to any of the mines mentioned; Canada, Australia, and the marine operations all abide by OSHA regulations and pay good wages.

If you want to make a specific comment about conflict diamonds, for example, it pays to be aware that it's not just mining that sucks in war zones .. quality of life is pretty poor all around.

Re: The diamond world takes radical steps to stop a pricing plunge

#265

Post by tsimionescu »

forgetfreeman wrote: post #233
paulddraper wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

oh yes preference for a diamond ring is definitely a dealbreaker

because I definitely want to spend the rest of my life with someone who's hypnotized by multi-generational marketing campaigns into wearing industrial abrasives as a status symbol. who wouldn't?

Diamonds were desirable jewelery way before anyone had the idea of using them in industry. It's true that the association with engagement rings is a new "tradition" invented by advertisers, but wearing diamond jewelery is not.

Re: The diamond world takes radical steps to stop a pricing plunge

#266

Post by tempestn »

huytersd wrote: post #33
SenAnder wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Has anyone ever tried to sell an engagement or wedding ring with diamonds? You get cents on the dollar. Does that mean you can buy one second-hand at a low price, and avoid the inflated market entirely?

There’s specifically no market for them somehow. I tried to look but the only places I could found that sold them was at pawn shops.

There are lots on eBay, or at least there were some years back when I was in the market.

Re: The diamond world takes radical steps to stop a pricing plunge

#267

Post by dkersten »

ridgeguy wrote: post #179
gnicholas wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

From what I hear, moissanite (and man-made diamonds) are pretty much indistinguishable from natural diamonds. How would someone's friends figure out that it's not a natural diamond? I would think the only way the wife would know is if she asked about the diamond's papers, if she was going to get an insurance policy for it or something.

There are cheap handheld thermal conductivity testers that will immediately distinguish diamond from moissanite and other stimulants.

But who goes around asking their friends to let them test their diamonds with their thermal tester?

Re: The diamond world takes radical steps to stop a pricing plunge

#268

Post by atleastoptimal »

wolverine876 wrote: post #262
xivzgrev wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Guys, buying diamonds, can complain all day about what a rip off it is (it is). But if you apprise your fiancé of the alternatives / opp costs (moissanite, man made, second hand, etc) and she still wants a new diamond, just get her a new diamond. It will make her happy for years. My wife had her heart set on a pink diamond, so that’s what I got her. I made it clear though that if I got this, she is not getting a new…

> if you apprise your fiancé of the alternatives / opp costs What a romantic! I recommend not apprising your fiance of anything, but working to understand them and make your engagement as joyful and loving as possible. > I made it clear though that if I got this, she is not getting a new one for a long time (she has a tendency to want to rent / sample / change things up). Is she 12 years old? Is it legal to marry som…

She can have a preference, and he can preference on whether or not he buys it for her.

A purchase that is solely ceremonial and build on outdated cultural mores does merit a rational discussion about expenses and alternatives. To entertain the notion that such things shouldn't even be discussed because engagements are "oh so special" is silly. Cultural shaming shouldn't keep people from having reasonable discussions, especially when it's a purely ceremonial, psychological purchase, rather than something practical both partners could get value out of.

Re: The diamond world takes radical steps to stop a pricing plunge

#269

Post by yayitswei »

callalex wrote: post #239
tired-turtle wrote: post #216

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Eh, I’m fervently anti-diamond (they’re silly imo), but I can acknowledge that, to some, they represent (I think?) a lasting commitment and are a cultural tradition. If the desire is emotional, then there’s no reasoning with it anyway. (And not everything in life need be logical.)

Does it count as a cultural tradition if it was manufactured within the last 2 generations? It’s kinda like asking a family if they celebrate Toyotathon or Hondadays as a tradition.

KFC Christmas dinner in Japan is a fun one. To be fair, all of our major holidays have been co-opted by corporations and they are still warmly celebrated. Going back to wedding rings, giving your new partner something of value is a very old tradition indeed (though what's perceived as valuable has changed greatly).

Re: The diamond world takes radical steps to stop a pricing plunge

#270

Post by manmal »

friend_and_foe wrote: post #259
manmal wrote: post #244

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> we have to leave our children with more than we were left with or we have failed You’re being pretty harsh on yourself there. Wealth doesn’t only depend on your own efforts and behavior, but a myriad other things. Also, how do you calculate whether they are left with more than you? Is that about inflation adjusted wealth, or other things like education, resilience, number of hours spent with their dad, physical and…

For me it is capacity to build the life they want and to do the same for their kids. Financially, yes, I need to leave them better off than me, inflation adjusted of course. Education, good habits, good examples, all of these things matter to me as well.

My priority is giving my kids the tools to build their life themselves. For me, that means being smart about education if they want it (doesn’t need to be an elite uni IMO, but in our country there are none anyway) and the ability to maintain long term relationships.

I think the latter is tricky and there’s no guarantee, but we go out of our way to always leave shame out of the equation (big relationship destroyer), and make them socialize (again, if they want to). Eg we have a car with extra seats so we can drive their friends too. We‘re also investing heavily (considering our finances) by putting them in a Montessori school where they can mingle with kids freely, with more teachers available to quell any mobbing.

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