> While most girls my age were content to go to the mall and get mani pedis
Condescending from the first phrase.
Life lessons from the death bed
101–110 of 196 posts
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#102I always struggle with balancing the advice given in pieces like this. The author suggested that they "eat their cake today" suggesting that putting off pleasure is a useless denial. Death could come for us at any moment, but I can't live like I'm dieing every day. There is just a mountain of nuance and self reflection between living some bohemian lifestyle where every moment must be filled with something and some st…
Right! This whole life thing is about striking a balance between "eat your cake today" and "spend your day in the field cultivating wheat to make the flour to make more cake in the future". In every moment of my life there has been some "cake" I could have "eaten" that would have been more enjoyable than all the hours I spent up in the middle of the night with screaming babies. But on my deathbed I'm certain it will…
Your children are your cake.
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#103Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think for many people, myself included, the worry isn’t “the switch flipped” it’s losing everything and everyone you’ve ever cared about. Life is pretty awesome. Don’t want to give that up for any reason.
What has been lost? You no longer know loss then.
I think, I do understand both the perspectives (or at least believe so).
One, that after death, you lose your continued existence.
And the other, that, this non-existence isn't a loss, since you can't experience it anymore.
Inevitably, the distinction lies in the belief of, whether the world continues to exist once you die - because if it does, then your non-existence is still a loss for your peers and the rest of the world.
On other hand, your qualia (sense/experience) of the world is all you have - i.e. your sense of sound, sight, touch etc. So, at most, this sense of experience is what you can call your "world" - nothing more, nothing less. And once that ceases there is no "world" anymore.
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#104Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm curious where you picked up the insight about gratitude. It reminds me a lot of insights found in stoicism, which I've long enjoyed reading about. But recently I have been perusing "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", and finding that a huge amount of it also strikes me as being just mass-market stoicism. So it has made me curious whether it's a direct influence, or whether it's just a case of multiple…
> I'm curious where you picked up the insight about gratitude. It’s a common idea (which isn’t to say it’s invalid or wrong). If you’re interested in studies on happiness or living a “good” life you’re bound to bump into it more than once. Quick example: do a web search for “TED talk gratitude” and you’ll find more links than you know what to do with.
Yeah, but I'm always curious where specific people specifically came across it!
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#105I'm of the belief that life is inherently suffering and really has no meaning. You can give your own meaning to it but it all seems pointless. (as I get ready for work to sit at a desk for 8 hours)
Samesies, and man it sure seems like everyone who doesn't realize this has it easy. Like, people will say that you're depressed, but I'm pretty sure it's just rational.
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#106I find it easier to come to terms with death if I just accept that I'll have regrets.
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#107Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think this common truism is less true that it sounds at first blush. Sure, nobody wishes they spent more time "grinding away" at work. But I think lots of people find a calling in their work, and do indeed wish they had been able to spend more time in its pursuit, while also wishing they had spent more time with their family. Just to take the most extreme kind of example, I think scientists who have really hit on b…
I don't disagree that many people find personal satisfaction in their work, beyond seeing it just as a source of money. I do too. Your point about time being zero-sum is a poignant one. Everyone wishes they had more hours in the day to spend doing things they like. But the question is about how we spend that marginal hour, and I think oftentimes it is better spent on family, friends or hobbies than our day jobs.
I guess I didn't state this very clearly because it's kind of an uncomfortable thing to state, but what I'm saying is that I think for a lot of people, for a lot of the hours, spending that marginal hour on work actually is the less-regretted way to spend it.
But it's probably true that more people end up regretting that choice to spend that marginal hour on work for more of their hours that the opposite.
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#108Earlier quoted context omitted.
Right! This whole life thing is about striking a balance between "eat your cake today" and "spend your day in the field cultivating wheat to make the flour to make more cake in the future". In every moment of my life there has been some "cake" I could have "eaten" that would have been more enjoyable than all the hours I spent up in the middle of the night with screaming babies. But on my deathbed I'm certain it will…
One bit I find easy to lose sight of is that if I do spend my day cultivating wheat for flour for a cake, to make sure to eventually make and eat that cake, and not just spend all my time getting better at cultivating more and more wheat.
Yes! It's like the problem of when to stand up from the blackjack table.
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#109Earlier quoted context omitted.
I was thinking about death occasionally until I got my first anesthesia (around 45). I then realized what death is: a switch is flipped off and you are done. No memories, nothing. You just stop to exist. From then on I do not worry anymore and stopped wondering about death altogether.
I think for many people, myself included, the worry isn’t “the switch flipped” it’s losing everything and everyone you’ve ever cared about. Life is pretty awesome. Don’t want to give that up for any reason.
Well, you are not losing anything because you just don't exist.
You have everything, and then you are not there anymore to feel that your lost something.
But I can relate to what you are saying, I see it rather like a form of "future nostalgia": it is Sunday afternoon and your are sad that it is going to be over. This is something I learnt to actively fight and live in the present.
Re: Life lessons from the death bed
#110I'm of the belief that life is inherently suffering and really has no meaning. You can give your own meaning to it but it all seems pointless. (as I get ready for work to sit at a desk for 8 hours)
Samesies, and man it sure seems like everyone who doesn't realize this has it easy. Like, people will say that you're depressed, but I'm pretty sure it's just rational.
I bet it felt good to feel superior to other’s who don’t see what you can :)
And if it felt good why other thoughts or lack of thought couldn’t make you happy?
And of course if you are happy why couldn’t you find a way to be happy all the time?
Makes sense?