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Life lessons from the death bed

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Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#81

Post by eitally »

sanderjd wrote: post #37
robviren wrote: post #28

I always struggle with balancing the advice given in pieces like this. The author suggested that they "eat their cake today" suggesting that putting off pleasure is a useless denial. Death could come for us at any moment, but I can't live like I'm dieing every day. There is just a mountain of nuance and self reflection between living some bohemian lifestyle where every moment must be filled with something and some st…

Right! This whole life thing is about striking a balance between "eat your cake today" and "spend your day in the field cultivating wheat to make the flour to make more cake in the future". In every moment of my life there has been some "cake" I could have "eaten" that would have been more enjoyable than all the hours I spent up in the middle of the night with screaming babies. But on my deathbed I'm certain it will…

I think the real fundamental point that both you and the author make is that it's the things that are investments of time that are worthwhile, and that we should endeavor - in our mindfulness - to adjudicate the utility of time investments actively in order to maximize our ROI. I 100% agree! Going through the motions, getting dumped on, or losing one's ability to subjectively assess comparative value is no way to lead a happy life (for oneself of the ones around you).

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#82

Post by eitally »

CalRobert wrote: post #33
mrwzy wrote: post #9

"Whether the house we live in is 300 or 3000 sq ft - loneliness is the same" is quite profound.

Just moved from a big house in the countryside on a few acres to a rowhouse in the city and I am so, so much happier here. I had a lot of suicidal ideation when I lived in the middle of nowhere. I see friendly people every day.

I can relate. I haven't ever had suicidal ideation because of this but I can tell you I am shocked at how much I enjoy living in a city (1800sqft house on an 8000sqft lot) in a real, social neighborhood compared to either our previous suburban house (4500sqft house on 1/3ac lot) or the rural house I grew up in (2000sqft on 4ac in rural outskirts of a small city). I'm sure this doesn't apply universally, but for my family it turned out that having friends and acquaintances within walking distance is great for mental health!

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#84

Post by ericmay »

BrandoElFollito wrote: post #76
techdragon wrote: post #14

Touching stuff... It could be middle age tainting my perspective... but sometimes I feel this sort of... not visceral , but very close and undeniable ... experience with death is easier for people who are young. Death isn't real for most people at 17, no matter how much they have seen, many see the death of a grandparent, or two, or perhaps even four, before reaching 17, but most still enter their late teens, feeling…

I was thinking about death occasionally until I got my first anesthesia (around 45). I then realized what death is: a switch is flipped off and you are done. No memories, nothing. You just stop to exist. From then on I do not worry anymore and stopped wondering about death altogether.

I think for many people, myself included, the worry isn’t “the switch flipped” it’s losing everything and everyone you’ve ever cared about. Life is pretty awesome. Don’t want to give that up for any reason.

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#85

Post by plasticchris »

escapedmoose wrote: post #71
roenxi wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think there is any advice as such to be taken from these sort of articles, but that is balanced by the fact that most people operate without any particular regard for the eventual certainty of death and if they reflect on it maybe they'll do something differently. Strategies and goals that make sense when rolled out to infinity do not always do so well over 100 years. Seeing what people value on their deathbe…

> There is no reason to perceive a dying person as having special insight Have you ever had a near-death experience? Those often seem to be followed by a sense of clarity that inspires some people to live better. They seem to cut through the crud and reveal the unimportance of certain things, and highlight the value of other things

There have been a couple of times I knew death was possible in the immediate future and all was out of my control. I thought, what happens, happens. And I let go, relaxed and peaceful. But it is not easy nor useful to hold that attitude in everyday life.

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#86

Post by hombre_fatal »

cheschire wrote: post #41
robviren wrote: post #28

I always struggle with balancing the advice given in pieces like this. The author suggested that they "eat their cake today" suggesting that putting off pleasure is a useless denial. Death could come for us at any moment, but I can't live like I'm dieing every day. There is just a mountain of nuance and self reflection between living some bohemian lifestyle where every moment must be filled with something and some st…

I suspect this person does not write those words with the intent to drive people to fill every moment with pleasure. I suspect their intent is more along the traditional lines of encouraging readers to not put off something into the “long term goal” category that would just as easily fit in the “short term goal” category. If anything, I see it as complimentary to your thoughts because many folks will use momentary pl…

The most obvious example is the idea of waiting for retirement to do the things you want to do and, frankly, things you probably should be doing long before you’re in your late 60s.

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#87

Post by [deleted] »

ericmay wrote: post #84
BrandoElFollito wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was thinking about death occasionally until I got my first anesthesia (around 45). I then realized what death is: a switch is flipped off and you are done. No memories, nothing. You just stop to exist. From then on I do not worry anymore and stopped wondering about death altogether.

I think for many people, myself included, the worry isn’t “the switch flipped” it’s losing everything and everyone you’ve ever cared about. Life is pretty awesome. Don’t want to give that up for any reason.

[deleted]

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#88

Post by plasticchris »

ericmay wrote: post #84
BrandoElFollito wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was thinking about death occasionally until I got my first anesthesia (around 45). I then realized what death is: a switch is flipped off and you are done. No memories, nothing. You just stop to exist. From then on I do not worry anymore and stopped wondering about death altogether.

I think for many people, myself included, the worry isn’t “the switch flipped” it’s losing everything and everyone you’ve ever cared about. Life is pretty awesome. Don’t want to give that up for any reason.

What has been lost? You no longer know loss then.

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#89

Post by ilc »

borlanco wrote: post #67

Death is ultimate poverty. You lose everything you have and everything you are, all at once. And this ultimate loss is not avoidable nor reversible. And sometimes it comes without warning. So it's quite normal to fear death. My trick to not fear death too much is this: perhaps in theory I own what is mine, but in practice I just have some assets that were lent to me, and that will be lent to others after my death. I…

Death is not poverty, because you do not experience poverty.

You don't live in the squalor and suffer. You are DEAD.

Death is the true absence of all, not a lacking of anything.

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#90

Post by CalRobert »

eitally wrote: post #82
CalRobert wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just moved from a big house in the countryside on a few acres to a rowhouse in the city and I am so, so much happier here. I had a lot of suicidal ideation when I lived in the middle of nowhere. I see friendly people every day.

I can relate. I haven't ever had suicidal ideation because of this but I can tell you I am shocked at how much I enjoy living in a city (1800sqft house on an 8000sqft lot) in a real, social neighborhood compared to either our previous suburban house (4500sqft house on 1/3ac lot) or the rural house I grew up in (2000sqft on 4ac in rural outskirts of a small city). I'm sure this doesn't apply universally, but for my fa…

8000 square foot lot! About 1300 square feet here. When someone wants to meet up I just hop on my bike and go, anywhere in the city. I love it.
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