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On not noticing rather too many things

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Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#21

Post by cdogl »

swatcoder wrote: post #4
mrsilencedogood wrote: post #2

This resonated with me somewhat. I think what he describes is my default inclination... I focus very closely, struggle to multitask, etc. Classic ADHD symptoms, though I cope because a) I think my symptoms are relatively mild (though noticeable). I think I could get a diagnosis if I wanted one, but could also probably avoid one if I wanted to. And b) I have the great luck that I can simply "weaponize" my hyperfocus t…

FWIW -- You're not wrong that you could probably get a diagnosis if you wanted to, but everything you describe about your experience is relatable to almost everyone. That's exactly how farm workers spend 8 hours picking strawberries, how carpenters spend 8 hours hammering joists, and what everybody is doing when they miss that turn. In a lot of mental health diagnoses, its the persistent inability to "cope" that warr…

Superbly well put; I wish I’d learned this earlier in life.

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#22

Post by stavros »

xyzelement wrote: post #11

I think we all have different radars - and also what we perceive consciously and unconsciously differs. For example, my wife has a much keener recognition for something that's messy - a full sink or a shirt laying on the floor of my office will "scream" at her louder that it does at me. Although, I suspect the mess still "affects" me - eg I might be less focused/happy in the messy environment despite not thinking abo…

I once went on a flight in a glider. I fly RC planes, so I know how to fly (in theory), but I wasn't able to fly the glider well. The pilot, on the other hand, obviously flew with no problem.

I noticed that this wasn't because I didn't know what to pay attention to, but I didn't know what to ignore. I knew very well that I needed to pay attention to my speed, attitude, etc, but there was so much sensory overload that I didn't know what to process and what to just ignore.

Sure, knowing what to notice is good, but knowing what you can safely ignore so you can free up bandwidth for processing the useful information is critical.

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#23

Post by Jeff_Brown »

mocha_nate wrote: post #14
eloy wrote: post #6

A lot of these things also sounds like autism.

Zero situational awareness. Completely unaware of the disgust being felt by his date seeing a person defecate. Completely unaware a plant has been in the room for two years. The feeling to post this on the internet with a “lessons learned” theme is kind of naively comical.

You mean you think he shouldn't have? I think it's a great post. It describes a noteworthy phenomenon and doesn't much editorialize. The mere fact that some people have verbal internal dialogs and others don't went extremely viral. People care about cognitive differences, and many of the differences we're surrounded by are not obvious.

That said, the commenter who describes not remembering that his relative Cindy had died has a pithier story.

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#24

Post by TheRealPomax »

Jeff_Brown wrote: post #17

Once a friend in grad school made fun of some todo note I had written down, announcing, "Note to self: Love parents." I don't remember what the note was. I do remember laughing. Later I decided she had a point. Not that I didn't love my parents, but that if I spent more time reflecting on my history and particularly my interpersonal relationships, behaviors that came with difficulty would come more naturally.

But then did it? Or did the lack of reminders just make you revert to the original problem of needing reminders of things you'd otherwise simply never think of anymore?

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#25

Post by alimw »

whalesalad wrote: post #9

Ah yes a casual date thru the tenderloin. These are the types of individuals with no situational awareness that end up getting hurt and wonder why. The world will kill you if you let it.

On the other hand, if more innocent people lacked the awareness to avoid dodgy areas then they probably wouldn't be so dodgy!

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#26

Post by runeofdoom »

dhc02 wrote: post #19
Delokoloololo wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not that you have ADHD if you are primarily in your zone. For me ADHD means being physical twitchy and constantly thinking about everything. The zone is the opposite but I never heard someone constantly being in the zone. It's a lot of procrastinating and then hyperfocusing 6h before the deadline

In the context of this metaphor, I would describe ADHD as the inability to get into the zone despite desperately wanting to, and the inability to get out of the zone despite desperately trying to. Lots of zone time, very little aimed at the targets you'd prefer.

Very well put. As someone who has been diagnosed and struggled with it all my life, you've captured it really succinctly.

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#27

Post by Zancarius »

befictious wrote: post #15
xyzelement wrote: post #11

I think we all have different radars - and also what we perceive consciously and unconsciously differs. For example, my wife has a much keener recognition for something that's messy - a full sink or a shirt laying on the floor of my office will "scream" at her louder that it does at me. Although, I suspect the mess still "affects" me - eg I might be less focused/happy in the messy environment despite not thinking abo…

What a pithy example of the human experience. I love this slice of life vignette. I would argue, even better said than the blog post.

Rather apropos, you explained precisely something I felt when I read your OP's comment (but, humorously, did not consciously notice). I loved it, but couldn't articulate why.

It hit too close to home.

I pictured driving down the road through town, the "turn only" lane indicators painted on the asphalt, the wash of signage, lights, traffic cones—the background noise of our civilization that provides passive information we've grown so familiar with it fades out of our vision.

Thank you both for this! Love it!

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#28

Post by swayvil »

Concentrating your attention (we here are all quite familiar with it) has a flipside. A vast blindness.

Because the degree to which you concentrate upon a thing (ex : a puzzle, thoughts about a puzzle, thoughts in general... to name some common ones) is the degree to which you ignore everything else.

And this state can be habitual.

Which is why brilliant, creative, industrious types are... well, you are familiar with the stereotype.

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#29

Post by glitchc »

JohnMakin wrote: post #3

One time, at a family gathering, I asked where a relative named Cindy was. The entire room got silent and stared at me. I found out later she'd been dead for a few years and I somehow had not noticed or had forgotten.

This sounds like the definition of clueless. Note to OP, not looking to insult you, just that deaths are pretty significant events and deserve notice.

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#30

Post by pixl97 »

stavros wrote: post #22
xyzelement wrote: post #11

I think we all have different radars - and also what we perceive consciously and unconsciously differs. For example, my wife has a much keener recognition for something that's messy - a full sink or a shirt laying on the floor of my office will "scream" at her louder that it does at me. Although, I suspect the mess still "affects" me - eg I might be less focused/happy in the messy environment despite not thinking abo…

I once went on a flight in a glider. I fly RC planes, so I know how to fly (in theory), but I wasn't able to fly the glider well. The pilot, on the other hand, obviously flew with no problem. I noticed that this wasn't because I didn't know what to pay attention to, but I didn't know what to ignore . I knew very well that I needed to pay attention to my speed, attitude, etc, but there was so much sensory overload tha…

Human mental/optical bandwidth is insanely limited, when you see this playing out it makes you wonder how much of the world you actually see.

The NOVA episode 'Human Brain: Perception Deception' really shows well how much we don't see

https://youtu.be/HU6LfXNeQM4?si=KiQHNLNziNU6TA4a&t=535

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