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On not noticing rather too many things

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Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#11

Post by xyzelement »

I think we all have different radars - and also what we perceive consciously and unconsciously differs.

For example, my wife has a much keener recognition for something that's messy - a full sink or a shirt laying on the floor of my office will "scream" at her louder that it does at me. Although, I suspect the mess still "affects" me - eg I might be less focused/happy in the messy environment despite not thinking about it consciously.

Something completely wild is what my 3 year old sees. A few days ago I was stopped at a red light and he said "daddy, what are all these arrows?" My first response was "what arrows?" Then I saw the arrows on a sign that explained the intersection. Then I saw the arrows on the overhead exit sign. Then I saw the ones drawn on the lanes itself to show which ones can turn and which ones go straight. Then I saw the one-way street sign. Then I saw the red arrow on the traffic light. And probably a bunch more other stuff, including my blinker signal. So at the instant he asked me about arrows, I was consciously aware of 0 arrows, while in reality there were like 12 in our field of view. Now obviously this is because I've been driving for a long time and I don't need to be consciously aware of the arrows to process their information. But it also tells you how much we might omit / filter out because our minds don't think it's worth surfacing to conscious attention.

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#12

Post by Jeff_Brown »

lallysingh wrote: post #8

"The world in which a man lives shapes itself chiefly by the way in which he looks at it, and so it proves different to different men; to one it is barren, dull, and superficial; to another rich, interesting, and full of meaning." - The Wisdom of Life, Arther Shopenhauer. To enjoy life you have to pay attention to it.

Everyone, 24-7, is paying attention to something. The trick is not to regret the choice.

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#14

Post by mocha_nate »

eloy wrote: post #6

A lot of these things also sounds like autism.

Zero situational awareness. Completely unaware of the disgust being felt by his date seeing a person defecate. Completely unaware a plant has been in the room for two years. The feeling to post this on the internet with a “lessons learned” theme is kind of naively comical.

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#15

Post by befictious »

xyzelement wrote: post #11

I think we all have different radars - and also what we perceive consciously and unconsciously differs. For example, my wife has a much keener recognition for something that's messy - a full sink or a shirt laying on the floor of my office will "scream" at her louder that it does at me. Although, I suspect the mess still "affects" me - eg I might be less focused/happy in the messy environment despite not thinking abo…

What a pithy example of the human experience. I love this slice of life vignette.

I would argue, even better said than the blog post.

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#16

Post by Jeff_Brown »

mgdante wrote: post #5
JohnMakin wrote: post #3

One time, at a family gathering, I asked where a relative named Cindy was. The entire room got silent and stared at me. I found out later she'd been dead for a few years and I somehow had not noticed or had forgotten.

Kinda assholes for staring

Had they been trying to make him feel bad, maybe. If they were simply shocked, surely not.

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#17

Post by Jeff_Brown »

Once a friend in grad school made fun of some todo note I had written down, announcing, "Note to self: Love parents." I don't remember what the note was. I do remember laughing. Later I decided she had a point. Not that I didn't love my parents, but that if I spent more time reflecting on my history and particularly my interpersonal relationships, behaviors that came with difficulty would come more naturally.

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#18

Post by Delokoloololo »

mrsilencedogood wrote: post #2

This resonated with me somewhat. I think what he describes is my default inclination... I focus very closely, struggle to multitask, etc. Classic ADHD symptoms, though I cope because a) I think my symptoms are relatively mild (though noticeable). I think I could get a diagnosis if I wanted one, but could also probably avoid one if I wanted to. And b) I have the great luck that I can simply "weaponize" my hyperfocus t…

I'm not that you have ADHD if you are primarily in your zone.

For me ADHD means being physical twitchy and constantly thinking about everything.

The zone is the opposite but I never heard someone constantly being in the zone. It's a lot of procrastinating and then hyperfocusing 6h before the deadline

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#19

Post by dhc02 »

Delokoloololo wrote: post #18
mrsilencedogood wrote: post #2

This resonated with me somewhat. I think what he describes is my default inclination... I focus very closely, struggle to multitask, etc. Classic ADHD symptoms, though I cope because a) I think my symptoms are relatively mild (though noticeable). I think I could get a diagnosis if I wanted one, but could also probably avoid one if I wanted to. And b) I have the great luck that I can simply "weaponize" my hyperfocus t…

I'm not that you have ADHD if you are primarily in your zone. For me ADHD means being physical twitchy and constantly thinking about everything. The zone is the opposite but I never heard someone constantly being in the zone. It's a lot of procrastinating and then hyperfocusing 6h before the deadline

In the context of this metaphor, I would describe ADHD as the inability to get into the zone despite desperately wanting to, and the inability to get out of the zone despite desperately trying to.

Lots of zone time, very little aimed at the targets you'd prefer.

Re: On not noticing rather too many things

#20

Post by munificent »

eloy wrote: post #6

A lot of these things also sounds like autism.

For what it's worth, this sounds like the opposite of autism to me.

People with autism generally have less of a filter for familiar or ignorable stimuli. Where neurotypical people are generally able to tune out things they know or decide to not be relevant, people with autism have less ability to do that, and doing it is more draining for them.

If anything, it sounds more like ADHD to me. But armchair diagnosis is always fraught with peril, and the couple of dozen labels in the DSM-V are nowhere near enough to describe the millions of ways that brains can be different.

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