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Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

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Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#71

Post by ddmf »

kredd wrote: post #42
ddmf wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wasn't allowed women pals when I was with my wife, she saw them as competition, and I didn't have many growing up. Since separating - I've met a few wonderful women who I'm still in touch with - one is my "bestie" for sure and we meet up to eat, I'll go round and play with her kids too. My daughter and I are really close too - we go food shopping once a week, have done since lockdown, and it's amazing how much deep…

Ha, that’s actually great to hear! I genuinely enjoy hearing stories like that, making our tiny theory a bit more believable. Regarding the jealousy of others’ partners — it is always a problem! According to my girl friends, we (guys in our group) come up pretty often in talks with their partners or new boyfriends. We try to overcome those problems by either introducing our significant others to the friend group as s…

That sounds really good - I'm almost 50 and amongst my guy pals we still have "lads nights out" and it's very rare for us to go out with partners, unless it's a dinner date thing happening - when I first mentioned I was seeing my pal, I would get some "oh, aye?" looks, but they know it's platonic now.

Sounds like it's working for you, hopefully we see more of this as things progress.

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#72

Post by ddmf »

sirsinsalot wrote: post #41
ddmf wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wasn't allowed women pals when I was with my wife, she saw them as competition, and I didn't have many growing up. Since separating - I've met a few wonderful women who I'm still in touch with - one is my "bestie" for sure and we meet up to eat, I'll go round and play with her kids too. My daughter and I are really close too - we go food shopping once a week, have done since lockdown, and it's amazing how much deep…

Wow she sounds really secure in herself. Glad you got out.

Because of her previous reactions I'll admit that I didn't communicate as effectively as I should have which didn't help - even though I wasn't doing anything wrong, it could have appeared like that - when you don't have the full information you can imagine every scenario.

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#73

Post by ckyngcybra »

yetihehe wrote: post #18
ckyngcybra wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

One of your other comments in "Writing down unfiltered thoughts enhances self-knowledge": > I started doing this like 3 years ago. Actually have like 30+ 100page sketchbooks filled so far. Keep meaning to catalogue it all, but I keep adding to it instead. I think maybe you should actually speak with someone (actual professional therapist), you look like you're on a path to become toxic yourself. I'm not telling you t…

[dead]

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#74

Post by kadoban »

sethammons wrote: post #65
cjohnson318 wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> pulverize young men with progressive dogma that vilifies them Lol, having been a young man at one time, young men need MORE reality checks, not fewer. You have to learn that your actions have real consequences, that "pretty sure" isn't enough when there are real stakes, that "luck" and "fair" are meaningless, that you're not entitled to anything from anyone, and that you have to earn respect from people for them to…

I think the progressive dogma is not "actions have consequences" -- dads have been letting their kids put pennies in light sockets for decades and pissing off the wrong person can get you punched in the mouth. The problem is that that young men are told they are bad, not worthy, animals, sex crazed, not to be trusted, are likely to abuse children or woman, are less intelligent, are only worth their ability to provide…

> The problem is that that young men are told they are bad, not worthy, animals, sex crazed, not to be trusted, are likely to abuse children or woman, are less intelligent, are only worth their ability to provide, should not have emotions, should know (naturally) how to be good at physical activities, should be logical, and that they should not complain. Suck it up, buttercup. They are expected to behave like well behaved girls/woman. Sit quietly in class, don't make a ruckus. That is the progressive dogma I'm seeing and have experienced.

What progressives in particular are telling you such things?

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#75

Post by ckyngcybra »

cobertos wrote: post #49
ckyngcybra wrote: post #14

[flagged]

Should've read the article. Tbh, this attitude is part of the problem. To be as hard as the "Marlboro Man" (mentioned in the article) and require complete stoicism seems to have landed people like those described in the article in a place of pain. Not able to reflect on themselves or feel situationally aware.

[dead]

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#76

Post by mock-possum »

jgilias wrote: post #63
mock-possum wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So does falling for someone prevent you from being their friend?

Yes, totally, being ‘just a friend’ to someone you’ve fallen for romantically is a totally miserable experience. For me at least.

I know that’s kind of the cliche, but - what is it, exactly, that makes it miserable for you? Is it just wanting something and not being able to have it? Why can’t you just date someone else who’s actually into you, and be just a friend to this person?

I’ve never had this cliche issue cause I’m a weirdo, and i think the best explanation I can come up for why it works for me is - i always think of relationships as friendships. My partner is my best friend because he has to be - I wouldn’t be with him otherwise, close friendship is the basis for a romantic relationship for me. And they don’t want the romantic portion, then the friendship is still there, and friendship is worthwhile on its own… I just don’t get the “it has to be all or nothing with me” mindset.

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