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Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

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Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#21

Post by mnky9800n »

doesnt_know wrote: post #9
mnky9800n wrote: post #5

Why do people pretend to do therapy to make money? If you can simply open a dude ranch and let people talk in a group during afternoon coffee break, why is that considered legitimate therapy? What's the difference between some dude with a dude ranch and a bachelor's in engineering and organizational psychology calling himself a life coach and someone with a PhD in clinical psychology who put time and energy into stud…

I guess the difference is in the severity of the persons mental health issues. If you're otherwise healthy, but never learned or have been discouraged from doing "the basics" like talk about how you are feeling with your loved ones then you really just need someone to teach you how or perhaps just give you permission to do so. Maybe this is easier if you dress it up in a specific kind of setting, depends on the indiv…

i guess your point is there is a spectrum of needs and a spectrum of solutions to fit those needs. I think my question is more like, why are the edges seemingly geometrically far from the center?

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#22

Post by nicbou »

yetihehe wrote: post #7
PlunderBunny wrote: post #4

The smartest thing I read about the question "What does it mean to be a good man?" was that the question was wrong - it should simply be "What does it mean to be a good human being?" In my opinion, it's a much easier question to answer.

"What does it mean to be a good human being" is more general, so a probably a little less easy to answer. With "How to be a good man" you can cater to a smaller group. Women and men have different needs.

It seems to be less about the needs of each gender and more about the social expectations for each gender. I take the question as "what should a good man be doing", not "what does one need to be a good man".

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#23

Post by rsynnott »

kredd wrote: post #8

My friend and I have a theory that a significant chunk of the problems mentioned in the article could be solved if every guy had a genuine platonic friend who is a girl. No data point other than every guy that I know who has close friend girls, never had problems with masculinity or something. And the opposite is true as well. I might be in a very limited bubble as well, as my very close bubble of decade+ friend grou…

> No data point other than every guy that I know who has close friend girls, never had problems with masculinity or something

It’s possible you’re mixing cause and effect here; like, it’s not implausible that men with the sort of issues mentioned would have difficulty relating to women as people.

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#24

Post by kredd »

andyjohnson0 wrote: post #19
kredd wrote: post #8

My friend and I have a theory that a significant chunk of the problems mentioned in the article could be solved if every guy had a genuine platonic friend who is a girl. No data point other than every guy that I know who has close friend girls, never had problems with masculinity or something. And the opposite is true as well. I might be in a very limited bubble as well, as my very close bubble of decade+ friend grou…

> My friend and I have a theory that a significant chunk of the problems mentioned in the article could be solved if every guy had a genuine platonic friend who is a girl. I suspect that the causation might be reversed. In other words, men who women want to be friends with may have the personality attributes that allow them to express their masculinity in non-problematic and easeful ways.

I don’t buy that given I went to middle/high school in very backward-ass region, but we all managed to be friends. It’s something that needs to be cultivated from the early childhood. I agree that it is much harder to reinforce it later in life. Again, not a lot of data points, just a few looking at my other friends with no female friends. And the way my nephews are growing up and talking about girls in their pre-teen/teen years.

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#25

Post by seanhunter »

PlunderBunny wrote: post #4

The smartest thing I read about the question "What does it mean to be a good man?" was that the question was wrong - it should simply be "What does it mean to be a good human being?" In my opinion, it's a much easier question to answer.

Marcus Aurelius wrote something like "Waste no time worrying about what it means to be a good man. Be one."

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#26

Post by seanhunter »

mnky9800n wrote: post #5

Why do people pretend to do therapy to make money? If you can simply open a dude ranch and let people talk in a group during afternoon coffee break, why is that considered legitimate therapy? What's the difference between some dude with a dude ranch and a bachelor's in engineering and organizational psychology calling himself a life coach and someone with a PhD in clinical psychology who put time and energy into stud…

   > Why do people pretend to do therapy to make money?
I think you probably answered your own question right there in the premise.

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#27

Post by HL33tibCe7 »

taway1237 wrote: post #13
PlunderBunny wrote: post #4

The smartest thing I read about the question "What does it mean to be a good man?" was that the question was wrong - it should simply be "What does it mean to be a good human being?" In my opinion, it's a much easier question to answer.

Is that how native speakers understand this proverb? I always assumed "a good man" here is synonymous with "a good human", because that's how if goes in my language, and because it's the only way this makes sense.

I’m a native speaker and interpret “man” in this context as definitely male, and I’d be very surprised if any other native speakers disagreed with that.

I think it’s because “a good man” is quantified by the indefinite article “a”. Whereas “man” in a sentence without that qualification, e.g. “one small step for man” I would not interpret the same way. So, “a man” = a male human, “man” = maybe a male human, maybe any human.

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#29

Post by marliechiller »

yetihehe wrote: post #7
PlunderBunny wrote: post #4

The smartest thing I read about the question "What does it mean to be a good man?" was that the question was wrong - it should simply be "What does it mean to be a good human being?" In my opinion, it's a much easier question to answer.

"What does it mean to be a good human being" is more general, so a probably a little less easy to answer. With "How to be a good man" you can cater to a smaller group. Women and men have different needs.

Something being more or less generalised doesnt necessarily mean more or less easy to answer. In this instance, its much easier to give axioms to being a good person than it is to being a good man. Especially in this day and age where the very notion of being a man (or woman) is being brought into question.

Re: Do You Need a Visit to the Confident Man Ranch?

#30

Post by easyThrowaway »

ckyngcybra wrote: post #17
doesnt_know wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> could be solved if every guy had a genuine platonic friend who is a girl. No data point other than every guy that I know who has close friend girls, never had problems with masculinity or something. And the opposite is true as well. Feels more probable that it's the other way around. Those that don't have problems with their (toxic) masculinity can likely maintain platonic relationships with any gender.

[flagged]

As a french comedian once said "You could be right , but we came a bit too late to put the Homo Sapiens on trial".
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