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Career Advice (2013)

moxie.org

111–120 of 178 posts

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your environment during your early formative years, yes. By the time you're in your mid-late teens, your moral reasoning is already pretty much solidified (and really it's more about clan loyalty than morality at that point - although we often conflate the two when it comes to inter-clan conflict).

Reasoning I think keeps developing with your brain to your mid-20s.

The prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed until around age 25.

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#112

Should be labelled (2013). Would be nice if I didn't have to say that; in so many ways the bloom is off the rose of my (admittedly high paying) corporate job. I even recently reunited with some old friends who chose a more independent career path, and was jealous and nostalgic- they're definitely working far closer to their passions with more freedom than I've felt in a decade. But man, what a decade since 2013. I wo…

// I do wish I had hedged my bets better and been less of a workaholic, of course. Would be nice to be married now.

I hear you and maybe a word of caution - sometimes "I don't have X because I was too busy with Y" is a way to sweep the complexity/ambivalence of X under the rug.

After all, plenty of very busy and hard working people get married, and I doubt that it's very often "I am dying to go meet this woman but I am going to sit in the office instead" type tradeoff that's being made.

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#113

Should be labelled (2013). Would be nice if I didn't have to say that; in so many ways the bloom is off the rose of my (admittedly high paying) corporate job. I even recently reunited with some old friends who chose a more independent career path, and was jealous and nostalgic- they're definitely working far closer to their passions with more freedom than I've felt in a decade. But man, what a decade since 2013. I wo…

> Would be nice to be married now. While the idea and ideal are nice, it often does not work out that way in practice. Lots and lots of unhappy marriages and divorces.

I find this to not be a helpful frame of thinking. A divorce is not a random natural disaster that befalls you.

You have a lot of control about who you end up with, who you are inside and how you engage with your partner. So the fact that divorce happens "often" or "rarely" doesn't matter to an individual scenario - it's completely within those people's controls to make good or bad decisions.

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Would be nice to be married now. While the idea and ideal are nice, it often does not work out that way in practice. Lots and lots of unhappy marriages and divorces.

I find this to not be a helpful frame of thinking. A divorce is not a random natural disaster that befalls you. You have a lot of control about who you end up with, who you are inside and how you engage with your partner. So the fact that divorce happens "often" or "rarely" doesn't matter to an individual scenario - it's completely within those people's controls to make good or bad decisions.

I understand your point, agree to it somewhat, but I think is a bit unfair and simplistic.

People have externalities thrown at them (loss, grieve, missed expectations, sickness, depression,…)

Is a bit arrogant to think a person or a couple can navigate all these via their own choices. Reminds me of my hardcore catholic friends who think that divorcing equals to low commitment, willpower or maturity.

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#115
post #72

do whatever to make money first, use that money to do what you love. 'follow your dream' is too risky for most of us and might be misleading for most young people in my opinion. make a living first, and never forget your dream in the process

Also, be aware that most people don't have a dream or a thing they love. The message about having a dream and "doing what you love" is so prevalent in the US culture, that the large number of people whom it does not pertain think that there's something wrong with them, and start essentially force themselves to have a passion (which is, obviously, not how it works).

Your dreams can be any passion or hobby, if it's a relatively fleeting one that's fine too. I restored a motorcycle last year, it was a great outlet, but I wasn't actually very into riding it in the end and dropped it. Onto the next one.

You like fine dining and look forward to a new restaurant every week? That's the equivalent of a dream to some people.

I think you're right in the sense that this U.S. notion of "exceptionalism" is also expected of individuals on both a professional and personal level, and "never forget your dreams" can really be reduced to "work to live, not live to work".

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Stanford prison experiment has very much been debunked, it does not reflect at all what would naturally happen in such a situation. > These new criticisms include the biased and incomplete collection of data, the extent to which the SPE drew on a prison experiment devised and conducted by students in one of Zimbardo's classes 3 months earlier, the fact that the guards received precise instructions regarding the treat…

That's why I am so often disgusted with the psychology research ethics. So many experiments are impossible to reproduce (vide recent reproducibility crisis), some (like the Stanford Prison Experiment) are debunked, but it is already too late — the damage is already done. As soon as a controversial research thesis reaches the public opinion (Zimbardo made sure his thesis would become popular), it becomes part of the "…

Fwiw I don't think an IRB would ever sign off on Zimbardo in 2023. Extremely poorly designed study; it's a travesty that we still see his mug while he narrates videos in Psych 101.

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#117
Why author and most commenters here associate "career" with sittng in the office? For me it is just an improvement my work skills towards bringing more value to the table and, as a result, getting more benefits from those who are in need of my skill. Author, for what it worth, could become large sailboat captain, be quite healthy (lots of fresh air, good climate and quality food) and still easily afford first class seats (or even be paid by boat owner). I'd still consider it a career.

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#118
Adventures come to those who seek them. One can find big expensive adventures for six months out in the mountains, or small free/low cost adventures like volunteer fire fighting, painting, rock climbing, cooking, dancing, acting, making music, deep friendships.

Our lives are filled with exactly the richness we seek. Travel is just a catalyst to get us up off our sofas and make new friends. Having moved many times, I can assure you that one can do that today without moving.

I've met many unemployed travelers who mope inside all day and watch Netflix. I've also met many hard working people who've lived in the same house for twenty years but live rich, incredible lives filled with small adventures.

Re: Career Advice (2013)

#120
post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

it's not a zero sum game or a competition though. You can make beautiful music, and someone else can create a beautiful choreography for it... their achievement will probably increase your joy, not decrease it.

To some degree yes, but after a while there are so many creators that it's just noise and nobody can really stand out unless they're truly beyond exceptional. So in that sense it is more of a zero sum game in practice. Take Steam for example. After Greenlight was superseded by Direct and you now only need $100 to get on the platform it's practically drowning in games, making for near zero discoverability. But especia…

> What are you gonna do, make a new country?

If technically you want to be the Prince of a constitutional monarchy, it might work (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principality_of_Sealand)

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