We encouraged women to stop depending on men for security (financial, physical), but now we’re shaming men for trying to reduce their dependency on women (sexual , emotional) Id argue that the mutual dependency was a good thing. But why shame one and not the other ?
Financial and physical security can be outsourced, and the wealthier people have always outsourced that to someone outside of their partners.
For example, one could expect the Queen of England didn't really need her husband to protect her, nor give her money. However, she might still naturally like to live with the man more than other people (emotional dependency), and have children with him (sexual dependency).
If you remove sexual/emotional aspects of a relationship then all you're left with is the transactional, and that seems inhumane.