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Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

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Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#61

Post by jayd16 »

itiro wrote: post #42
jayd16 wrote: post #15

Only fair way to do this is just start during the last hour of the work day. You're not asking for donated time but people will probably stay a bit later if they're enjoying themselves. If they're not what's the point, anyway. But there's so much negativity in these comments. Does everyone here despise casual time with their coworkers or what?

> Only fair way to do this is just start during the last hour of the work day. Why is that the only way? > Does everyone here despise casual time with their coworkers or what? What’s with the trend to hypernormalize human agency and preferences? Why are alternative approaches to life forbidden? There seems to be a religious like statefulness in people where we see a typical human and assume “they must be like me, and…

> Why is that the only way?

Well, you don't want to ask people to donate time. You don't want to disrupt work too much either and it shouldn't be mandated. A loud mixer mid day for people who really can't spare the time can be distracting.

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#62

Post by stephen_g »

PakG1 wrote: post #30
jayd16 wrote: post #15

Only fair way to do this is just start during the last hour of the work day. You're not asking for donated time but people will probably stay a bit later if they're enjoying themselves. If they're not what's the point, anyway. But there's so much negativity in these comments. Does everyone here despise casual time with their coworkers or what?

I think this perspective is easier when one is single, certainly not married, and CERTAINLY without kids. Before I was married, I'd be annoyed if married friends weren't as free-spirited as I was in terms of hanging out late. Even if we all had full-time jobs, come on, what makes you so busy, let's do stuff! After I got married, I understood what everyone was too nice to tell me. Hey, you're cool and fine, but... no,…

The OP's solution seems to solve this problem though - if it's the last hour of 'work time' then people can stay for at least that hour and then if they have to leave at the normal time, they can.

If the socialisation time is always outside work hours, then yeah, people with young kids will basically never come.

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#63

Post by yieldcrv »

appplication wrote: post #47
yieldcrv wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here in LA - below the Valley - a lot of people are dry or drastically cutting down their alcohol intake. Not a selling point.

Why is that? I’ve personally been drinking a lot less, but that’s because I absolutely hate hangovers and it just doesn’t feel worth it to me. I do enjoy a nice drink, I just never find it worth it anymore. It’s interesting to me that it would be happening more broadly.

That’s why everyone else is doing it, or very many.

Additionally, weed doesn't cause hangovers or its not a validated side effect, a little brain fog for some.

There is very little “I used to be an alcoholic” or “I’m pregnant”. No excuses necessary and most people don't need one. It’s normal enough not to matter.

People are content avoiding it as a carcinogen as it is for basically every organ in the digestive tract. On the carcinogen front and weed consumption, many people aren’t smoking their weed (or not primarily or not often), they use edibles or drinks too.

So there’s a burgeoning shift in patterns, but its common enough for it not to just be recovering people that garner the imagine of being sloppy at one point. Very well adjusted people are just not interested.

But its not just weed as a competitor. I run into completely sober people too, they just never started anything and aren't interested. No religious thing, no belief system. People from multiple different circles. I go out with an in shape woman and there’s a non-negligible chance there’s no vice.

My patterns going out haven't changed much, but I’ve stopped buying six packs. Its made a surprising difference, I appreciate it.

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#65

Post by jayd16 »

xyzzy123 wrote: post #37

I think the part that's not talked about is how much more risky it feels in 2023 to drink with co-workers than it did 10 or 20 years ago. Am I just getting old? Drinking culture has largely changed for the better and I think workplaces are safer than they used to be. But I also think you'd have to be an idiot (or risk-blind) to get loose at company events like a lot of people used to do.

You could always just not drink.

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#66

Post by happytoexplain »

armchairhacker wrote: post #20

Maybe this borders the site guidelines, but I wish people would post less of these ragebait articles. Yeah we get it. People like to treat work as "work", and not deal with overwork, socialization, RTO, micro-managing, etc.

"We", in the broad sense, demonstrably do not get it. "We" need to be reminded, continuously, because our system, while good at a lot of things, creates a continuous force that pushes the vast majority of individuals toward misery. It never stops doing this, and the pushback must be constant.

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#67

Post by itiro »

jayd16 wrote: post #61
itiro wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Only fair way to do this is just start during the last hour of the work day. Why is that the only way? > Does everyone here despise casual time with their coworkers or what? What’s with the trend to hypernormalize human agency and preferences? Why are alternative approaches to life forbidden? There seems to be a religious like statefulness in people where we see a typical human and assume “they must be like me, and…

> Why is that the only way? Well, you don't want to ask people to donate time. You don't want to disrupt work too much either and it shouldn't be mandated. A loud mixer mid day for people who really can't spare the time can be distracting.

You said a mandate that the last hour of the work day be set aside for socialization, but also it should not be mandated?

I think you’re just going to annoy people who would rather go home and people who would rather use that hour to work.

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#68

Post by 000ooo000 »

Interestingly no distinction made in this article between socialising with coworkers because you want to, and Mandatory Cuddles, i.e. some unlikable dickbag organises a mandatory social team outing outside of 9-5. The moment it becomes an obligation, you've lost me. You already get 50% of my daily waking hours, and once a commute and chores are factored in, my daily leisure hours are even fewer. You want some of those too? Get lost.

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#69

Post by thefz »

It takes one special kind of emotionally disconnected sociopath to put people in a "social" event and expect them to be like a family. Why they don't kiss?

Past boss was like that, big parties and then stabbing you in the back. "but we are a team, right? we drink together". Nah.

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#70

Post by jimbob45 »

appplication wrote: post #47
yieldcrv wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here in LA - below the Valley - a lot of people are dry or drastically cutting down their alcohol intake. Not a selling point.

Why is that? I’ve personally been drinking a lot less, but that’s because I absolutely hate hangovers and it just doesn’t feel worth it to me. I do enjoy a nice drink, I just never find it worth it anymore. It’s interesting to me that it would be happening more broadly.

It’s expensive and if you have kids, you’re potentially unfit to be a parent for 1-3 hours which your partner may find off-putting.
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