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Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

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Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#51

Post by Arcanum-XIII »

Gigachad wrote: post #12
nine_zeros wrote: post #4

Why the fuck would anyone schmooze to a boss/company who can fire you at anytime? At-will employment cuts both ways.

Not so much the boss, but I like my coworkers and enjoy an occasional night out with them. This might shock HN but not everyone despises their job and not everyone hates the people they work with. Company occasionally runs an optional dinner/entertainment night with food and drinks paid for. And I'm happy to participate.

I like my colleagues. I’m having fun with them all day long. After hour I take care of my children if I have them, go to my sport activity, see friends, meet new people, get lucky, like to spend time alone to do stuff like read, draw, sculpt. So no I don’t hate my job. But I already give it a lot of my time, and I don’t define myself by it. Doesn’t mean I don’t make friends at works.

And… if they truly want to see me ? Select a work day, do it during the work day. Current job host a seminar during the work hour, with a one night out on a hostel on Thursday. Not a week end.

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#52

Post by [deleted] »

Gigachad wrote: post #12
nine_zeros wrote: post #4

Why the fuck would anyone schmooze to a boss/company who can fire you at anytime? At-will employment cuts both ways.

Not so much the boss, but I like my coworkers and enjoy an occasional night out with them. This might shock HN but not everyone despises their job and not everyone hates the people they work with. Company occasionally runs an optional dinner/entertainment night with food and drinks paid for. And I'm happy to participate.

[deleted]

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#53

Post by justinjlynn »

xyzzy123 wrote: post #37

I think the part that's not talked about is how much more risky it feels in 2023 to drink with co-workers than it did 10 or 20 years ago. Am I just getting old? Drinking culture has largely changed for the better and I think workplaces are safer than they used to be. But I also think you'd have to be an idiot (or risk-blind) to get loose at company events like a lot of people used to do.

If people phrased it as what it was "doing psychoactive drugs with co-workers/competitors in a non-work setting" ... the activity would seem as dangerous as it always was. It's just that now people, rightfully, have higher expectations of each other's behaviour because work forces otherwise incompatible people together due to economic pressures and those relationships must remain collegial. Those pressures have always been there, but as time has gone on - and especially since the 1970s with the rise telecommunications and database technologies - that social pressure has only increased due to the growth of more tightly knit but wider scoped social networks (among essentially all employers in a field, esp.). This has grown to global social networks and databases essentially creating a permanent reputation in all aspects of life. Job mobility has likewise decreased. Given that psychoactive drugs alter a persons mind and cause a person to do things they most likely would never do when they were sober, and esp. at work - the changing culture seems a natural outcome of all of those pressures as a rational way to decrease the risk of disaster.

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#54

Post by fallingknife »

frandroid wrote: post #18

> “The flake-out rate is so much higher at events now,” says Gretchen Goldman, a research director in Takoma Park, Md. > This summer Goldman sent an invite to 100 colleagues for casual after-work drinks at some picnic tables just outside the office as a goodbye party. She was taking a new job with the federal government. Fewer than 10 showed up. Maybe don't have an event where people have to BYOB at work?? If I'm doi…

100 people? I can't think of even 10 at any previous job who I knew well enough to want to have drinks with on my last day. That's probably the main issue here.

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#55

Post by jonathankoren »

xyzzy123 wrote: post #37

I think the part that's not talked about is how much more risky it feels in 2023 to drink with co-workers than it did 10 or 20 years ago. Am I just getting old? Drinking culture has largely changed for the better and I think workplaces are safer than they used to be. But I also think you'd have to be an idiot (or risk-blind) to get loose at company events like a lot of people used to do.

People that “got loose” at company events never learned to drink socially, and instead binged. These people are always a problem, regardless of where.

The vast majority of the people at a drink up could handle it, but occasionally there would be the one troublemaker (and it was always the same person, although not always everytime) that simply couldn’t read the room, or couldn’t control themselves.

At official or unofficial drink ups, I’ve seen:

Someone have to have their keys taken away.

Someone have their keys taken away, and then bite — literally, angrily bite — the coworker that took them before running off into the night.

The worst event, I didn’t see happen, but saw the aftermath of. Someone got in a car (hopefully theirs), and proceed to jump the curb of the traffic circle in the office park and ram — and destroy — a nondescript abstract sculpture that was owned by whoever owned the office park.

I believe the last person was fired. Hopefully, that person got help, because that could not have been the first time for a trick like that.

Interestingly enough, all these events happened at the same employer. And yet, I still think fondly of those drink ups (though, not those instances).

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#57

Post by [deleted] »

theonething wrote: post #39
Gigachad wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not so much the boss, but I like my coworkers and enjoy an occasional night out with them. This might shock HN but not everyone despises their job and not everyone hates the people they work with. Company occasionally runs an optional dinner/entertainment night with food and drinks paid for. And I'm happy to participate.

> This might shock HN but not everyone despises their job and not everyone hates the people they work with. Who is saying that? I don't despise my job or coworkers, but I'd rather spend time with my family after work. I don't really have that much free time so I prioritize.

[deleted]

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#59

Post by TheGigaChad »

anon291 wrote: post #32
jauntywundrkind wrote: post #25

I for one have had an incredibly great time that I've greatly enjoyed getting to hang out & socialize with all kinds of coworkers. I'm so glad I've gotten to connect with these people, in a less pressured way that the actual work environment seems unable to replicate. I've learned so much about people's lives, and learned so much background, and shared so many interesting stories. This feels like the end ya'll; anoth…

I mean the insane reaction to COVID (to lock down all cities for years) and send workers home is going to have major effects on down towns. Unfortunately my fellow urban dwellers supported these policies despite the fact they were going to hit cities hardest. In my opinion it wasn't worth it, but this seems like a minority opinion . It's so important for innovation and career growth to have these opportunities.

[dead]

Re: Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

#60

Post by jayd16 »

PakG1 wrote: post #30
jayd16 wrote: post #15

Only fair way to do this is just start during the last hour of the work day. You're not asking for donated time but people will probably stay a bit later if they're enjoying themselves. If they're not what's the point, anyway. But there's so much negativity in these comments. Does everyone here despise casual time with their coworkers or what?

I think this perspective is easier when one is single, certainly not married, and CERTAINLY without kids. Before I was married, I'd be annoyed if married friends weren't as free-spirited as I was in terms of hanging out late. Even if we all had full-time jobs, come on, what makes you so busy, let's do stuff! After I got married, I understood what everyone was too nice to tell me. Hey, you're cool and fine, but... no,…

Well, again, I'm suggesting using work hours not extra hours. People seem against the idea entirely.
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