Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin

This x 1000

I've said this before...YC hosts "you want to work at a startup" day. In the past there have been multiple startups that claim "we are a family", "we work hard and play hard" but then handwave ... the only one that was honest at one of the years I attended, was Justin of justin.tv.

Work is a job. If you want to make it a social life, go for it. But let it be your decision.

I've had work situations in the past where many of us were friends and still in contact years later. But, don't let it become your life.

I for one have had an incredibly great time that I've greatly enjoyed getting to hang out & socialize with all kinds of coworkers. I'm so glad I've gotten to connect with these people, in a less pressured way that the actual work environment seems unable to replicate. I've learned so much about people's lives, and learned so much background, and shared so many interesting stories.

This feels like the end ya'll; another scary nail being driven in. I'm in a top 10 city in the US. At least half the establishments used to be open till midnight every night, and now the city is going to sleep at 10:00. The meetup scene has collapsed; the industry has literally no social functions left for people who do want to opt in to hanging out & shooting the shit & swapping tales. The city center is dead as shit; no chance to swap stories & mingle there. My work division used to do trivia and board games and happy hours and all sorts of other things, but we've lost headcount and lost critical mass & lost the social drivers; now it's so hard to get people to do stuff. Tonight was a pretty nice all company happy hour and almost no one from my division was interested. It was a great night.

I've been at places where a lot of people had to really plan & make sure it was ok for them to do social activities; home or other commitments kept them busy. But every place I've been, folks have been eager to hang out, even if just for a bit. Sometimes there've been slowdowns but the resistance now feels new & difficult, unprecedented to me. I know I'm over-projecting my current experience, but I can totally see & immediately grasp where we are a as a crisis point, where common bonds & worthy good cameraderie - not corporate run, top down edict, but genuine bottom up socialization - happens. I don't know what the world looks like if we lose these cohesion points, if we stop having exchanges.

There's a lot of good reasons for negativity & skepticism. There were real costs. But fundamentally I think that view is twisted, that it is wretched & sad to not acknowledge & embrace the opportunity & to recognize the upside. The world has, in my view, become far more quiet & isolated, & not all workplaces are great, but I hope many people have had good workplaces & good colleagues & can recognize some merit to having better than formal at-will as-necessary purely-industrial relationships. I don't want work me to just be a robot.

I get that the WSJ needs to run these sort of pieces every so often to sell papers, but "No One Wants [Whatever]" think-pieces should be treated the same way as the overly-speculative question headlines that led to "Betteridge's Law" in the early 2000s.

Office culture, like the rest of culture, is cyclical. People are reactive, and tend to move in herds. Given an intense external stimulus like the pandemic, we should expect to see waves of behaviors propagating out through time for at least the next few years.

During the pandemic, nobody was in the office, so right after the pandemic, there was a boom in office socialization (in some quarters). Now, apparently according to WSJ, the pendulum is swinging back. This isn't indicative of very much, except that there was a big shock to the office-work social system and it's still not stabilized.

In particular, it's not especially suggestive of what the steady state will be, once these perturbations diminish.

I think we probably have several more back-and-forth cycles around everyone-works-from-home! vs. 40-hours-in-office-or-bust!, before the market works out what the relative value is (to the employer and the employee) of having people in the office and paying for a physical office for them, vs. the flexibility of working from home and of having a potentially international hiring pool. There are benefits and hazards for both parties in either arrangement.

My personal feeling, just based on how the job market has tended to stratify in the past, is that we'll see multiple approaches within each industry/sector, based on how fundamentally creative the work is.

The organizations in a particular sector who are really pushing the boundaries of that industry, who are actually advancing the state of the art, will likely be in-office cultures, because nobody has yet found a substitute for in-person communication particularly as it applies to creative problem solving. But those will represent a small tip of the workplace iceberg, sitting atop (and demanding higher rates than) a larger volume of companies whose work simply isn't that fundamentally creative or challenging, and have to compensate by offering flexible / WFH arrangements, and actively court the employees who are more interested in work-life balance than in working in their industry's version of the Manhattan Project.

Yes, SO MUCH NETFLIX to watch. I'd write a longer comment but the next episode is already starting.