I found Matthew Pollard's "The Introvert's Edge to Networking" to be an outstanding resource. (Don't be fooled by the awful branding around it: I listened on Audible and never saw all the Over-the-Top marketing until just now.)
Networking for introverts
101–110 of 122 posts
Re: Networking for introverts
#102> The researchers randomly changed the “People You May Know” recommendations algorithm that LinkedIn shows its users, so that the prevalence of weaker and stronger connections varied among people on the site. The experiment showed that weaker ties (where a pair of users had only one mutual friend, say) were more likely to lead to job applications and job moves than those where people had 25 mutual friends or more. Wa…
It reminds me of Facebook's experiments where they tweaked people's feeds to alter their moods - sometimes for the worse.
Trying to find people more job opportunities is very different from trying to make people depressed.
Re: Networking for introverts
#103Most of the article appears to be about what does not work. Here is the relevant part from the bottom of the page- > The real secret is to save your energy for the people who are most likely to be interesting to you. > The sweet spot in networking on LinkedIn is someone with moderately weak ties to you: connecting with a person with ten mutual friends markedly increases the probability of changing jobs compared with…
Thanks for summarizing! These points resonate with me bc I used to be an introvert, but found the extrovert inside of me a couple years ago (ironically, during pandemic).
A few additional points to make these macro data-based observations practical:
1. Saving your energy means ironically fewer convos.
2. A good proxy for "people who are most likely to be interesting" is the idea of reading their "energy". People whose energies are more similar to you are likely to resonate with you.
3. The article doesn't touch on follow-ups bc LinkedIn doesn't have that dataset. But follow-ups contain a wealth of information. For me currently they are the "breaking point" - most of my potential weak ties that could be strong ties remain at weak ties bc they descend into scheduling hell or lack of proactiveness (i usually follow up, and it's hard when i don't have time already as a founder).
4. This "sweet spot" is just in terms of LinkedIn mutual connections, which is weak bc LinkedIn connections are noisy. The real number is probably 5. Try asking for their Instagram before LinkedIn next time. This might not be for the HackerNews crowd, but Instagram contains 2/4 or 3/4 of the missing signals that LinkedIn doesn't capture - what you do outside of work, where you are in your life journey / hero narrative, and what your life direction is.
6. Overcoming all your instincts in real world is tough. This takes a string of positive, warm, open interactions. Going to a few small, closed group events may help. Check out Saturday, Supermomos, or go to events at a private social club to "warm up" before going to larger tech events. Hopefully they cultivate a sense of "intimacy" in you, which is the energy you want to lead with from first interaction.
Hope this helps whoever bothered to read this from top down. If any of these points resonates, email me at hn.at.tw4192367@gmail.com
Re: Networking for introverts
#104Earlier quoted context omitted.
There are supposedly many introverts frequenting HN and longing for any help they could get in building their network. Some of them probably reflexively upvoted the article without looking at it first. Since it's impossible to un-vote a story, those upvotes remained even as they came back here to complain about lack of meaningful content in the article.
> Since it's impossible to un-vote a story When I vote a story, an "unvote" button appears to the left of the "parent | context | flag" buttons. Are you saying that it doesn't work?
No... I just honestly didn't notice it's there! Will need to check if it works next time, thanks for the tip :)
Re: Networking for introverts
#105Re: Networking for introverts
#106I think extroversion and introversion are just orthogonal skill sets. The solution can simply be “get better at extroversion.” For instance, small talk. You may style yourself as someone too intellectual to be entertained by small talk, and profess to be terrible at making small talk. This is to misunderstand the value proposition of small talk, which is to establish trust and rapport with strangers before you commit…
No this has nothing to do with introversion. It has nothing to do with social skills or confidence. Most introverts are actually quite charming one on one.
For introverts social contact is simply EXHAUSTING. So there is a high cost to every social interaction. Hence why they avoid parties, or responding to your messages or any of the other things that extorverts seem to think are so "fun". I wish extroverts would understand this...
Re: Networking for introverts
#107Don't want to awaken any sleeping dogs here, but what the author describes reminds me more of social anxiety and/or self-esteem issues than introversion. I'm an introvert. I can sit still and not speak to anyone for weeks and be fine. Happier even. Having no-one around recharges me like nothing else. The reverse is true as well which makes me incredibly popular at parties /s. When I was young(er), a networking event…
Sounds like my experience too.
I absolutely think they are heavily correlated, not least because being an introvert makes it both harder to build up enough experience to get past social anxieties, and easier to make up excuses (to yourself) to avoid trying to, but my social anxieties in most cases have largely gone (some after putting in a lot of effort to expose myself to situations I found both horrifying and draining; now they're just draining), and in other scenarios were never there, while my introversion is as strong as ever.
Re: Networking for introverts
#108Earlier quoted context omitted.
More that it doesn't need to have a big emphasis on social skills or the people you know, but on merit and skills. Most software development jobs are already like that though, with both face to face interviews and take-home assignments. Some do whiteboard interviews, but I don't really get those because they're not representative of the job you will be expected to do - unless it's for a teaching position.
First, I'd draw a sharp distinction between social skills and extroversion. Even if you're not compelled to interact with people and guard the energy you expend on socializing, that doesn't mean you aren't good at it. Some of the most charming people I've met have been serious introverts. I hate grinding through DS&A stuff and will avoid doing so at all costs, but I can still do it. Just like some developers have to…
Did you ever ask how they acquired those social skills if it didn't come naturally to them?
Re: Networking for introverts
#109> The researchers randomly changed the “People You May Know” recommendations algorithm that LinkedIn shows its users, so that the prevalence of weaker and stronger connections varied among people on the site. The experiment showed that weaker ties (where a pair of users had only one mutual friend, say) were more likely to lead to job applications and job moves than those where people had 25 mutual friends or more. Wa…
On top of that, I'm not convinced it means what they think it means.
To me, having used LinkedIn quite heavily, the people I have 25 mutual "friends" or more with are almost all "super connectors" that spam huge numbers of connection requests (and I, like many others on LinkedIn, accept a lot of connections from people I don't know, "just in case" it leads somewhere).
And so they are frequently the weakest ties of all.
I'm not convinced you can measure "weak" vs "strong" ties on LinkedIn by number of connections, because so much tends to depend on circumstances. E.g. is there a culture for using LinkedIn in your job, or does your boss look at it with fear? (I had a manager once who kept an eye on which recruiters people connected to...) Was there an exodus that triggered people to connect to huddle together? Are the people you care about actually active on LinkedIn?
Was your previous company big? E.g. I have many connections from big past employers that I've never spoken to. They're not strong ties, and certainly not stronger than the persons I have only a couple of shared connections to because they're far away and the company we worked together at was tiny, but whom I've hired twice and spoken to many times over many years.
Re: Networking for introverts
#110I think extroversion and introversion are just orthogonal skill sets. The solution can simply be “get better at extroversion.” For instance, small talk. You may style yourself as someone too intellectual to be entertained by small talk, and profess to be terrible at making small talk. This is to misunderstand the value proposition of small talk, which is to establish trust and rapport with strangers before you commit…
No this has nothing to do with introversion. It has nothing to do with social skills or confidence. Most introverts are actually quite charming one on one. For introverts social contact is simply EXHAUSTING. So there is a high cost to every social interaction. Hence why they avoid parties, or responding to your messages or any of the other things that extorverts seem to think are so "fun". I wish extroverts would und…
Yes, I am aware of the pop psychology ideas. I just don’t see why I should believe them.
Doing things that you aren’t good at, that you haven’t effectively practiced, is tiring. If you aren’t an experienced driver, for instance, a lengthy, unfamiliar journey will feel exhausting. Once you get good, it’s second nature, and you don’t bat an eyelid.
It’s pretty simple. You don’t need to invent this concept about special types of people who are “tired” by social contact.