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When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

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Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#171

Post by gretch »

edgarvaldes wrote: post #112
anon84873628 wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you saying you don't want to work with the people who use praise w/ direction? That is my assumption about what you meant given that it seems like the contrary opinion and thus the reason for replying. If that's the case, care to elaborate why you don't like that style?

>I really liked how you tackled this Because you open the communication with a lie.

Well, only if it is a lie. The example is a hypothetical story so we can read into it whatever we want.

There are ways to like someone’s work, even if you don’t think it’s complete or optimal.

For example, I think a huge part of getting a job done is just having someone take initiative and at least try, as opposed to waiting for someone else to start them off.

The line might mean “I’m glad you started us down this road…”

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#172

Post by groby_b »

whatshisface wrote: post #37
groby_b wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you struggle with "I really liked" because you really didn't, I'd suggest the value-neutral "That's an interesting approach!" followed by "have you thought about X"/"how does it compare to "/"how did you land on it". You're still starting from a positive point of view for the recipient, which makes them more open to actually engaging with you. Without having to "pretend to smile and praise". It's an interesting ch…

It's still not an interesting approach unless it interested you... There are no positive sounding meaningless adjectives because positive and meaningless are conflicting attributes.

If you're dead-set on being somebody nobody wants to work with, sure, keep ignoring that people have feelings. It won't work particularly well for you in the long run, but you do you.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#173

Post by mulmen »

karaterobot wrote: post #132
agloe_dreams wrote: post #5

I disagree with the angle on this about asking and how to go about things but mostly because complimenting in context is helpful. When someone does great work, tell everyone, not just their manager. Do it in public and clearly in standups after they talk about what they did last day/week. "I just want to mention, that work that Joe did on that module is fantastic, thanks!" It is so easy to be a force for good. Being…

I think people are coming up with edge cases like "what if they helped you do something they weren't supposed to do, and complimenting them on it gets them fired?! ", but that's an exception, and most people would use common sense and discretion in any reasonable scenario. As a rule, pass on a good word about people who help you, it's not that complicated.

Don’t do this. Ask for consent. It isn’t hard.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#175

Post by gretch »

function_seven wrote: post #150
jasonlotito wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Considering this is about how you communicate with others, you are saying people should consider the way you want to be communicated with, but you should be able to ignore how others want to be communicated with? That just makes you a disappointing, inefficient hypocrite.

No, I didn't say any of that. I would like people to be straight with me. I try to be straight with them. Golden Rule and all of that, right?

> I would like people to be straight with me

But you understand that people can genuinely like you right?

Perhaps that person is trying to not throw the baby out with the bath water.

“Hey I’m glad you patched the bug, but can you give the SREs a heads up next time? They p0’ed on an expected traffic spike”

The person is actually happy with you for fixing a bug. They don’t want to you take away that in the future, to not take initiative and fix bugs.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#176

Post by johnnyanmac »

nemetroid wrote: post #168
johnnyanmac wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But what if you did? No one is saying to lie. If you genuinely cannot find any good out of the code review (considerations for performance, easy to read, functional solution, time to execute, ability to reach out to proper peers), then maybe they shouldn't have been hired to begin with? Even a well picked intern these days should have one of those qualities.

It's right there in the description of the situation. You didn't like it: "If you are calling out your colleagues for doing bad work, ...".

There's a spectrum of "like" and "didn't like", you know. Have you ever truly come across a situation with a co-worker where there was no redeedming quality in their code review?

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#177

Post by mulmen »

agloe_dreams wrote: post #5

I disagree with the angle on this about asking and how to go about things but mostly because complimenting in context is helpful. When someone does great work, tell everyone, not just their manager. Do it in public and clearly in standups after they talk about what they did last day/week. "I just want to mention, that work that Joe did on that module is fantastic, thanks!" It is so easy to be a force for good. Being…

I strongly disagree and have worked in multiple environments where your actions would have harmed me personally. Your manager is never your friend. All relationships with management are adversarial. It’s like talking to the police. Do not volunteer information. You don’t know where other people are, always obtain consent.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#178

Post by f1shy »

ori_b wrote: post #76
gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

> If you are calling out your colleagues for doing bad work, or not the way you would do it work, you should try to rephrase into praise w/ direction. “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” I don't want to work with people that communicate this way.

>> “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?”

So, basically lie in the face. How could that be good advice?!

If I do not like it, I would just say it. One thing is being polite, other completely different to be a liar.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#179

Post by gizmo686 »

eweise wrote: post #157
ori_b wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you are calling out your colleagues for doing bad work, or not the way you would do it work, you should try to rephrase into praise w/ direction. “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” I don't want to work with people that communicate this way.

I do. Having worked with so many engineers with almost no social skills, I think there's a lot of room for improvement in their communication style. "Why didn't you do it this way?" is aggressive and critical. "have you thought about this approach?" makes them feel like you have their back and are trying to help. I agree there's not a huge need to the "I really liked how you tackled this" part but even never praising…

It depends on context, but I have found the opposite.

"Have you thought about this approach" can come across as condcending. Of course I thought about that, it was the first thing I tried before the much more complicated solution that actually works.

"Why didn't you do it this way" invites them to share the war story of what happened when they tried doing that.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#180

Post by TuringNYC »

johndhi wrote: post #57

I disagree with the "ask first" suggestion. That's adding friction to the process that makes it less organic and will disincentivize actually doing it. Instead I will give feedback that I know won't hurt the employee I'm praising. There is an art to writing this stuff - usually making it more about yourself and how your problems are easier.

>> I disagree with the "ask first" suggestion.

I've found two types of organizations.

1. Organizations where folks doing great work are given more work.

2. Organizations where folks doing great work are given more responsibility, coached, and put on a path to promotion or tangible recognition.

For workers in type-1 organizations, they may fear they will just get assigned more work with no added benefit. Sometimes the work assigned should be done by others who arent doing their own share.

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