It seems silly to me. Can it be that people with higher well being are just more likely to greet their neighbors? I only skimmed the article so I might have missed something.
Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing
311–320 of 330 posts
Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing
#312Earlier quoted context omitted.
> in very rural areas you quickly realize that your neighbors are your safety net far more than the authorities Unless you are non-white, an immigrant, LGBTQ, neurodivergent, etc...
I've lived in rural areas and while there was some messed up stuff, your blanket statement wasn't entirely my experience. I would suggest that, while you might find less cosmopolitan people in rural areas, they're also more willing to overlook aspects of you that they dislike. You can't really afford to be too picky about your friendships when there's not much to choose from.
>You can't really afford to be too picky about your friendships when there's not much to choose from.
Only someone extremely privileged could twist the desire for basic safety as being "picky"
Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing
#313As a kid, I had extreme social anxiety. I had a hard time talking to people and making friends. I never felt like I “belonged.” As an adult, I still have crippling social anxiety. I can’t speak for everywhere, I’m pretty much only in the U.S., but I’ve noticed that most fellow adults I come across are chronically deprived of social interaction. My social anxiety doesn’t actually matter. Me being awkward, and weird, a…
I'm not usually one for drugs, but the thing that helped me get out of extreme social anxiety (I had selective mutism into my 20s), was anti-anxiety meds (off-label Modafinil). I didn't take it for long, but being able to be in a social situation without that feeling of dread and anxiety was actually mind blowing. It helped me recognize a state of mind where I didn't immediately go to massive anxiety. After that, wit…
Magic mushrooms are another fantastic option if you're in a legal jurisdiction and medically able!
Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing
#314I remember 1990s California and low crime rates. Good times.
Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing
#315As a kid, I had extreme social anxiety. I had a hard time talking to people and making friends. I never felt like I “belonged.” As an adult, I still have crippling social anxiety. I can’t speak for everywhere, I’m pretty much only in the U.S., but I’ve noticed that most fellow adults I come across are chronically deprived of social interaction. My social anxiety doesn’t actually matter. Me being awkward, and weird, a…
L-theanine and/or magnesium can be a godsend for social anxiety.
Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing
#316Earlier quoted context omitted.
What I learned is that it makes a huge difference to get a haircut from someone professional. Going to some cheap random mall hair place is a terrible experience. They don't care about their work, it's going to be awkward and it'll look terrible. I have been going to a fancy hair place in recent years. AUD $85 seems like a lot of money for a mens haircut, but it makes all the difference. It's a proper craft. No "what…
My hair is thick, curly, and I tend to let it grow long. I've found that, more often than not: - 90% of male barbers are butchers - clippers are for butchers - anyone who tries to cut your hair without washing it first is probably a butcher
I've reluctantly come to the conclusion that the only thing barbershop stylists know how to do is an undercut, a taper fade, or some variation of those two.
"I'd like layers. I don't want an undercut or fade. Here's a photo." "You got it." --> Undercut.
Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing
#317Earlier quoted context omitted.
Just keep doing what you're doing. Like with everything, expose yourself to your fear and it'll get better. > I still play the fun game in my head of “haha did we all have a good time today or did I actually say something terrible and now everyone hates me or thinks I’m a fool?” Appearing as a fool, saying controversial things, getting rejected over and over again - that is how you get over social anxiety. - Someone…
Exposing yourself to fear doesn’t work for everyone (though good to hear it worked for you!) For some it activates the parasympathetic nervous system too much and you won’t have much luck easing the anxiety. Other means are available, often therapy or learning ways to cope with Parasympathetic activation. Usually focussed on calming the nervous system through various methods.
You need tools to help deal with the anxiety, but exposure therapy and CBT is pretty much the only thing that can help resolve anxiety long-term.
Avoiding anxiety producing situations usually just makes it worse.
Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing
#318As a kid, I had extreme social anxiety. I had a hard time talking to people and making friends. I never felt like I “belonged.” As an adult, I still have crippling social anxiety. I can’t speak for everywhere, I’m pretty much only in the U.S., but I’ve noticed that most fellow adults I come across are chronically deprived of social interaction. My social anxiety doesn’t actually matter. Me being awkward, and weird, a…
One way around social anxiety: think about how little you care about the person in front of you. If you heard that they died how long would you be thinking about it? That’s how much they care about what you do. Or don’t do.
You're assuming that anxiety can be mitigated by just logically convincing oneself that there's no need to be anxious. This might be the case for some people, but for many of us it's a fundamentally irrational condition; the issue isn't that I think something bad will happen if I talk to someone and make a mistake, it's that sometimes having to talk to someone _is_ the bad thing I don't want to happen. You've probably met people who are afraid of spiders, or snakes, or something of that nature, even the ones that don't pose a threat, and the issue is similar here;
Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing
#319Earlier quoted context omitted.
One way around social anxiety: think about how little you care about the person in front of you. If you heard that they died how long would you be thinking about it? That’s how much they care about what you do. Or don’t do.
You're assuming that anxiety can be mitigated by just logically convincing oneself that there's no need to be anxious. This might be the case for some people, but for many of us it's a fundamentally irrational condition; the issue isn't that I think something bad will happen if I talk to someone and make a mistake, it's that sometimes having to talk to someone _is_ the bad thing I don't want to happen. You've probabl…
But anxiety CAN be mitigated by logically convincing yourself that there's no need to be (as) anxious in the moment. That's the whole point of various forms of behavioural therapy: to teach you ways to arrest spiralling, maladaptive thoughts and lead them to a more functional landing.
Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing
#320Earlier quoted context omitted.
Just keep doing what you're doing. Like with everything, expose yourself to your fear and it'll get better. > I still play the fun game in my head of “haha did we all have a good time today or did I actually say something terrible and now everyone hates me or thinks I’m a fool?” Appearing as a fool, saying controversial things, getting rejected over and over again - that is how you get over social anxiety. - Someone…
> Appearing as a fool, saying controversial things, getting rejected over and over again - that is how you get over social anxiety. This works well, only thing is sometimes you start having fun with it and then you're always saying the wrong things but not caring.
This is a good point. You might become a confident asshole who wants to compensate for all the suffering that you experienced because of social anxiety.