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Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

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Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#291

Post by bart_spoon »

climb_stealth wrote: post #230
NegativeK wrote: post #210

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Rationally, I know what you've said to be the truth. In reality, I cut my own hair because it stresses me out to go to a Greatclips.

What I learned is that it makes a huge difference to get a haircut from someone professional. Going to some cheap random mall hair place is a terrible experience. They don't care about their work, it's going to be awkward and it'll look terrible. I have been going to a fancy hair place in recent years. AUD $85 seems like a lot of money for a mens haircut, but it makes all the difference. It's a proper craft. No "what…

$85 does seem like a lot of money for a haircut. I used to use the Great Clips, $10 places before switching to a “proper” barber that was more like $30 (US). Was it better? Yes. But I’m still not sure if it’s worth the money. I have a lot of hair that grows quickly, so I probably would go for a haircut once every 3-4 weeks. At $30 a pop that’s around $400-500 a year on cutting my hair. I don’t care how nice of a job they do, it’s hard for me, personally, to not feel like I’m just setting cash on fire.

These days I do neither. When the pandemic hit and people were socially distancing, my wife tried giving me a haircut, which wasn’t great but also wasn’t terrible. So we bought a hair trimming kit, watched a few YouTube videos and after a couple attempts she got pretty good at cutting my hair. She is by no means a proper barber, but she also only has a single client, me, so she doesn’t need to become great at cutting hair, we are just fine if she gets good at cutting my hair. And she has. I think the results are at least as good as any barber (and more consistent), and we now aren’t spending half a thousand dollars a year on cutting my hair. Obviously that isn’t a situation that will work for everyone, but I definitely recommend exploring it for those it does.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#292

Post by gattilorenz »

jacquesm wrote: post #127
gattilorenz wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

“Graag gedaan” (“you’re welcome”, “my pleasure”, but more lit. “I did it with pleasure”) can be dropped quite casually, right?

Yes, but it actually does have meaning, and it is appreciated for that meaning rather than ignored. Conversely:Americans probably think I'm rude because I don't first ask them how they are but start the actual conversation without pre-amble.

“How are you doing?” also has a meaning, and sometimes is used in “the deeper sense”, i.e. the literal one.

Graag gedaan is also something you say to be polite, not only when it really was your pleasure to do it, so it could qualify as a phatic expression - I don’t think anyone on the other side thinks “oh well, that person surely cares about me: it’s a pleasure doing something for me!”.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#293

Post by Mezzie »

maayank wrote: post #281
nvarsj wrote: post #265

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not usually one for drugs, but the thing that helped me get out of extreme social anxiety (I had selective mutism into my 20s), was anti-anxiety meds (off-label Modafinil). I didn't take it for long, but being able to be in a social situation without that feeling of dread and anxiety was actually mind blowing. It helped me recognize a state of mind where I didn't immediately go to massive anxiety. After that, wit…

Can you tell more about using modafinil for anti anxiety? I only heard about it in the context of wakefulness

I have modafinil for a different off-label use, but it has been helpful for some of my anxiety's symptoms. It's helpful for the brain fog and the paralyzing that comes with 'too many things to do = shut down and do NOTHING and PANIC' type of being overwhelmed.

Makes me REALLY irritable though.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#294

Post by jamies »

chevman wrote: post #206

We live in a mid sized city in the midwest, typical city block with single family homes. Folks keep to themselves a bit - not everyone, but enough that you have to make an effort to connect with neighbors. My son and I had the idea that we should just organize a block party. I think this was in early 2021 after covid was letting up a bit. He was 7 years old and said we should get a food truck to come. So that's what…

Sometimes the creativity and passion of a child can just completely shake up the doldrums of being an adult! Thanks for sharing this.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#295

Post by mythrwy »

I wish I could.

I moved way out to the country in 2013 and had only one neighbor half a mile away. I did interact with him some, but it usually wound up with him hitting me up for money or to perform some errand. Fentanyl finally took that neighbor a few years back and now I have 0 neighbors for miles.

I do interact with skunks and birds and snakes and my chickens, cats, dogs and my girlfriend. I also go over to a buddies house in town once a month for beers and to the occasional party.

Girlfriend works in town so I'm completely alone most of the day. It kind of bothered me for a few year but now I like it and think I would have trouble being around people all day every day. Probably not super healthy mentally for most people, but it works for me.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#296

Post by calibas »

tgv wrote: post #273
calibas wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> There's no reasonable mechanism in which greeting people causes well-being. Socializing increases well-being, and greeting someone is socializing.

You're still making so many assumptions, all of which are unproven and causally unlinked. And how does socializing lead to social, community, career and physical well-being? Why would those peak at 6 but financial well-being at 11? In your hand-waiving explanation, it should keep rising. And even then, the effect wouldn't be caused by greeting, but by socializing. Greeting more people wouldn't help if you wouldn't so…

Socialization is causally linked to well-being. I assume you know enough about the subject that this isn't up for debate.

Per sociologist Cornelia Mayr, "Greeting is one of the basic functions of socialization and the first step in connecting to people at a more personal level."

Where's the assumptions there? I simply connected two established facts. Socialization increases well-being and greeting is socializing, therefore...

As you point out, there's a lot more nuance to it, but to claim there's "no reasonable mechanism" is absurd. Greeting someone is a type of socialization, and socialization increases well-being.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#297

Post by nvarsj »

maayank wrote: post #281
nvarsj wrote: post #265

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not usually one for drugs, but the thing that helped me get out of extreme social anxiety (I had selective mutism into my 20s), was anti-anxiety meds (off-label Modafinil). I didn't take it for long, but being able to be in a social situation without that feeling of dread and anxiety was actually mind blowing. It helped me recognize a state of mind where I didn't immediately go to massive anxiety. After that, wit…

Can you tell more about using modafinil for anti anxiety? I only heard about it in the context of wakefulness

There is off label usage for depression and anxiety.

No idea if it would help everyone but it certainly did for me in the short time I took it.

I didn't like taking it longer term - it made me very irritable. The only time I've ever yelled/got angry on the spot at someone was when on mod - and it surprised and scared me. It also gave me bad stomach cramps.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#298

Post by MSFT_Edging »

whitepaint wrote: post #263
r3trohack3r wrote: post #207

As a kid, I had extreme social anxiety. I had a hard time talking to people and making friends. I never felt like I “belonged.” As an adult, I still have crippling social anxiety. I can’t speak for everywhere, I’m pretty much only in the U.S., but I’ve noticed that most fellow adults I come across are chronically deprived of social interaction. My social anxiety doesn’t actually matter. Me being awkward, and weird, a…

Just keep doing what you're doing. Like with everything, expose yourself to your fear and it'll get better. > I still play the fun game in my head of “haha did we all have a good time today or did I actually say something terrible and now everyone hates me or thinks I’m a fool?” Appearing as a fool, saying controversial things, getting rejected over and over again - that is how you get over social anxiety. - Someone…

> Appearing as a fool, saying controversial things, getting rejected over and over again - that is how you get over social anxiety.

This works well, only thing is sometimes you start having fun with it and then you're always saying the wrong things but not caring.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#299

Post by morelisp »

midasuni wrote: post #56
Invictus0 wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you'll find that community matters even more in rural towns. We are social animals. We can't do it all alone. That modern society has enabled us to be 'reclusive' is frankly a maladaptive outcome.

No we aren’t social animals, certainly not in rural areas. Give me a good book and a quiet afternoon in the shade of a tree with no neighbours any day.

The fuck you doing posting your opinions on social media then?

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#300

Post by pkphilip »

r3trohack3r wrote: post #207

As a kid, I had extreme social anxiety. I had a hard time talking to people and making friends. I never felt like I “belonged.” As an adult, I still have crippling social anxiety. I can’t speak for everywhere, I’m pretty much only in the U.S., but I’ve noticed that most fellow adults I come across are chronically deprived of social interaction. My social anxiety doesn’t actually matter. Me being awkward, and weird, a…

I found that listening is a lot easier than talking. Just plain listening and paying full attention to the person - that is, making eye contact, acknowledging when they say something, asking stuff based on what they are saying etc.

I find that easier to do than actually talking

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