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Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

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Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#221

As a kid, I had extreme social anxiety. I had a hard time talking to people and making friends. I never felt like I “belonged.” As an adult, I still have crippling social anxiety. I can’t speak for everywhere, I’m pretty much only in the U.S., but I’ve noticed that most fellow adults I come across are chronically deprived of social interaction. My social anxiety doesn’t actually matter. Me being awkward, and weird, a…

One way around social anxiety: think about how little you care about the person in front of you. If you heard that they died how long would you be thinking about it? That’s how much they care about what you do. Or don’t do.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#222

We got a small, older dog a couple years ago, mostly for my wife. She has health issues and can't walk the dog, so it fell on me. At first I was kind of resentful. The dog is ponderous and doesn't really take direction much, and I'm way too short on free time. Well, I've lived in the neighborhood for ten years and only when I started walking the dog did I start meeting a bunch of people in the neighborhood. I still w…

Smokers talk about having a similar social effect occur when chatting during a smoke break.

It's one of the reasons smoking is hard to quit for some, especially in highly populated areas.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#223

As a kid, I had extreme social anxiety. I had a hard time talking to people and making friends. I never felt like I “belonged.” As an adult, I still have crippling social anxiety. I can’t speak for everywhere, I’m pretty much only in the U.S., but I’ve noticed that most fellow adults I come across are chronically deprived of social interaction. My social anxiety doesn’t actually matter. Me being awkward, and weird, a…

Rationally, I know what you've said to be the truth. In reality, I cut my own hair because it stresses me out to go to a Greatclips.

I used to have trouble going to get my hair cut after a barber clipped my ear with a blade.

Whenever I go to a new city what I do is, I read up a ton of reviews from multiple sources and find a few barbers I think ill like. Then I go for a quick trim to understand how comfortable I feel around them (this is the hardest part, I usually explain to them about my anxiety before I make a booking except for one instance everyone is really understanding usually), I have been lucky enough to find someone good after trying 2-3 barbers.

My current barber is an awesome older gentleman from Iran who migrated to the same city as I am, knows my exact haircut I want, so all I have to do is show up on time and get a great stress free haircut, and get to hear some really interesting story from him. lol if I go out of the city for a while, I wont mind looking like an escaped lunatic for a few days extra until I come back home.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#224

My neighbourhood which I've lived in all my life has changed drastically, dramatically, creepily. The original owners were part of a sort of Habitat for Humanity type organization only it was a local thing a co-op. This was 1972 nearly ten years before early 1980s super crazy inflation so even then it was hard to afford a home. Everyone on the street knew each other even one street over either way people knew everyon…

This varies wildly neighborhood by neighborhood. In our first house, in suburban Raleigh, NC, we had a modest 1972 split level worth about $200k. We knew all our neighbors and it was, for lack of a better word, neighborly.

In our second house, which was a huge upgrade house-wise (4500sqft on 1/3ac in a subdivision with a big pool greenways, playground, etc), we got to know just two of our neighbors very well, and we almost never saw anyone outdoors in the 6 years we lived there. This house was only about 2 miles from the previous one, but the vibe was entirely different.

In our current house, in San Jose, we're in a neighborhood originally built in the 1950s from what was cherry orchards, and almost all of the original owners have died or moved. We've been here since 2016 and it feels like that year was when the current wave of "refresh" started. Ever since the neighborhood has gotten younger and younger, more and more kids are outside, and the majority go to the neighborhood pool & neighborhood schools. We have tons of friends and acquaintances and it's reminiscent of my neighborhood growing up (in Virginia) in the early 80s. That said, you only have to go a few blocks to get to areas that are more like what you've described.

The morale of this is just that it pays to spend time in, and talk with, a few possible neighbors before buying into a neighborhood. You might not like what you find.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#225

We got a small, older dog a couple years ago, mostly for my wife. She has health issues and can't walk the dog, so it fell on me. At first I was kind of resentful. The dog is ponderous and doesn't really take direction much, and I'm way too short on free time. Well, I've lived in the neighborhood for ten years and only when I started walking the dog did I start meeting a bunch of people in the neighborhood. I still w…

This was me with my youngest child, who had croup and I ended up walking her around the block quite frequently at night, especially in the colder months. We got to know so many people and so much about what was going on.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#226
post #40
post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The global pandemic may be affecting their behavior.

My street was full of older folks that we got to know over the years. Some moved to assisted living, some are getting there, and some passed away from unexpected diagnoses. We have new Gen Z neighbours for the last two years who seem to exist in their bubble, shutting out the immediate world and interacting only with their social circle. Barely an acknowledgement even if we’re out in the yard, shovelling snow or cutt…

[deleted]

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#227

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Rationally, I know what you've said to be the truth. In reality, I cut my own hair because it stresses me out to go to a Greatclips.

I used to have trouble going to get my hair cut after a barber clipped my ear with a blade. Whenever I go to a new city what I do is, I read up a ton of reviews from multiple sources and find a few barbers I think ill like. Then I go for a quick trim to understand how comfortable I feel around them (this is the hardest part, I usually explain to them about my anxiety before I make a booking except for one instance ev…

I went for a haircut in the US once and I didn't know you were supposed to tip. I still remember the offended look on the barbers face when I held out my hand for my change. That was 20 years ago.

Now days I don't care as much and just do my own with the clippers and save myself $40. Can you believe a hair cut at the barber costs $40 now here in Australia. You know you are getting old when everything seems shockingly expensive.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#228

As a kid, I had extreme social anxiety. I had a hard time talking to people and making friends. I never felt like I “belonged.” As an adult, I still have crippling social anxiety. I can’t speak for everywhere, I’m pretty much only in the U.S., but I’ve noticed that most fellow adults I come across are chronically deprived of social interaction. My social anxiety doesn’t actually matter. Me being awkward, and weird, a…

Rationally, I know what you've said to be the truth. In reality, I cut my own hair because it stresses me out to go to a Greatclips.

You’re good at what you practice and bad at what you don’t. If this bothers you then just go to the salon it until it stops being stressful.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#229
I recently watched a video [1] about “The Villages”, a massive retirement community in Florida with 100k+ residents. One of the things that surprised me was how friendly all the neighbors seemed in the beginning of the video. The lifestyle had a lot more appeal to me than I was expecting.

[1] https://youtu.be/BX4i8qprP2I

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#230

As a kid, I had extreme social anxiety. I had a hard time talking to people and making friends. I never felt like I “belonged.” As an adult, I still have crippling social anxiety. I can’t speak for everywhere, I’m pretty much only in the U.S., but I’ve noticed that most fellow adults I come across are chronically deprived of social interaction. My social anxiety doesn’t actually matter. Me being awkward, and weird, a…

Rationally, I know what you've said to be the truth. In reality, I cut my own hair because it stresses me out to go to a Greatclips.

What I learned is that it makes a huge difference to get a haircut from someone professional. Going to some cheap random mall hair place is a terrible experience. They don't care about their work, it's going to be awkward and it'll look terrible.

I have been going to a fancy hair place in recent years. AUD $85 seems like a lot of money for a mens haircut, but it makes all the difference. It's a proper craft. No "what haircut would you like?", instead it's pretty much at her discretion and suited to the actual person. Zero regrets.

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