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Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

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Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#211

Post by pokeymcsnatch »

sseagull wrote: post #182
tasty_freeze wrote: post #174

We got a small, older dog a couple years ago, mostly for my wife. She has health issues and can't walk the dog, so it fell on me. At first I was kind of resentful. The dog is ponderous and doesn't really take direction much, and I'm way too short on free time. Well, I've lived in the neighborhood for ten years and only when I started walking the dog did I start meeting a bunch of people in the neighborhood. I still w…

When I got a dog, it also fell on me to walk her. When we had a storm a while back, I realized that I only knew the dogs’ names and where they lived. “Yeah, Fido’s house got tore up pretty bad”. Didn’t know the owner’s name :)

Similar line of thought, I never really met any neighbors but I know all of the right places to pee around the neighborhood.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#212

Post by biogene »

avgcorrection wrote: post #50
Invictus0 wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you'll find that community matters even more in rural towns. We are social animals. We can't do it all alone. That modern society has enabled us to be 'reclusive' is frankly a maladaptive outcome.

Hell is other people. Since we're apparently doing borderline thought-terminating cliches.

HN is a social community too. So are other online forums, discord chat groups, mailing lists, gaming communities, open source communities, etc. People are driven to social interaction, whether virtual or in-person. I don't know what is the big deal in acknowledging that.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#213

Post by nightowl_games »

chevman wrote: post #206

We live in a mid sized city in the midwest, typical city block with single family homes. Folks keep to themselves a bit - not everyone, but enough that you have to make an effort to connect with neighbors. My son and I had the idea that we should just organize a block party. I think this was in early 2021 after covid was letting up a bit. He was 7 years old and said we should get a food truck to come. So that's what…

That is such a great idea. Nice work! Spread the word!

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#214

Post by jhardy54 »

NegativeK wrote: post #210
r3trohack3r wrote: post #207

As a kid, I had extreme social anxiety. I had a hard time talking to people and making friends. I never felt like I “belonged.” As an adult, I still have crippling social anxiety. I can’t speak for everywhere, I’m pretty much only in the U.S., but I’ve noticed that most fellow adults I come across are chronically deprived of social interaction. My social anxiety doesn’t actually matter. Me being awkward, and weird, a…

Rationally, I know what you've said to be the truth. In reality, I cut my own hair because it stresses me out to go to a Greatclips.

In your defense, if you asked me where to get this most stressful haircut, I’d suggest Great Clips.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#215

Post by NegativeK »

landemva wrote: post #114
Waterluvian wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That reminds me of Tig Notaro's incredible stand-up set when she found out she had cancer: "I have cancer, how are you?" "Is everyone having a good time? I have cancer." It's a masterpiece, in my opinion. Tig finds an intensely awkward situation with an audience that showed up for comedy, and just presses on it relentlessly. I really hope that when it's my turn, I can handle it like her. https://www.youtube.com/watch…

> I really hope that when it's my turn I watched mother-in-law go through the expensive and painful burn/cut/poison and hospice with two morphine patches. On flight home I determined I was going to learn about it and find a different course than what was offered by the medical establishment. The book World Without Cancer helped start my journey. It's not just random bad luck, so take action.

Some cancers are treatable; some aren't. Delaying treatment for the first and giving false hope to the latter by advocating treatments that have _never_ been effective is actually harmful.

That book has nothing to do with improving actual human health.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#216

Post by NegativeK »

xyzelement wrote: post #195

This was one of the biggest surprises for me moving to the burbs after 40 years of NYC. You get to know your neighbors and their kids, you drive more politely because the person you are going to cut off is someone you have likely met and will again. It sort of transforms you - or rather - allows the more communal version of you - to emerge. Needless to say, this version of me is more at peace and happier.

Interesting; after moving to the suburbs from a large city, I feel much less likely to talk to people near me, since I get in my metal box and drive around them instead of walking past them (or riding public transit with them) and being forced to interact with them.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#217

Post by danenania »

dhosek wrote: post #198
darth_avocado wrote: post #165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s funny, I’ve always known my neighbors and talk to everyone on the block, but then I realized that most of them don’t talk to each other. Strange way to live because we are increasingly living in a world where you’re going to need help sooner or later and who else can you seek help from in emergencies other than your neighbors? We had a mom who had recently moved in, screaming in hysterics on the block one day be…

In the novel I’m currently reading, Popco (which I think the HN crowd would totally dig), there’s a section where there’s a seminar in network theory talking about the reason things like 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon, or any network of connected nodes, manage to have connections with so few hops is because there end up being superconnectors which are connected to a large number of other nodes. I realized I had that role i…

Yep, in the last place I lived we had a really kind and friendly neighbor who is also a handyman of sorts and helps people on the block with whatever random small problems they have in their houses. He knows everyone and regularly introduces people to each other. I'd be standing on the sidewalk talking with him and someone else would walk by. He'd say "oh have you met Such-and-such?" and call the person over. He single-handedly makes that block like an order of magnitude more neighborly and sociable than it otherwise would be.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#218

Post by xyzelement »

NegativeK wrote: post #216
xyzelement wrote: post #195

This was one of the biggest surprises for me moving to the burbs after 40 years of NYC. You get to know your neighbors and their kids, you drive more politely because the person you are going to cut off is someone you have likely met and will again. It sort of transforms you - or rather - allows the more communal version of you - to emerge. Needless to say, this version of me is more at peace and happier.

Interesting; after moving to the suburbs from a large city, I feel much less likely to talk to people near me, since I get in my metal box and drive around them instead of walking past them (or riding public transit with them) and being forced to interact with them.

Different type of burb I guess.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#219

Post by xwdv »

matheusmoreira wrote: post #200
SirMaster wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't tell if this is serious or a joke. I'd hate to have your so pessimistic and negative view of the world though. I don't think most people are viewing things this way (i.e. makes little sense to have one child). Plenty of people are having children and families and enjoying life. If this isn't a joke, it seems you might need some help as there's no way that's a normal way to feel, at least in my experience.

It's not a joke. I feel exactly the same way as grandparent. The more you learn about the world and its workings, the more unhappy you become. It's a hopeless feeling. Like civilization has already peaked before I was even born. I can see where the world's going and I don't like it but can't change it. I'd say it's the people who don't feel this way who need help but on second thought I wouldn't wish these feelings o…

Hang in there brother.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#220

Post by dghughes »

My neighbourhood which I've lived in all my life has changed drastically, dramatically, creepily.

The original owners were part of a sort of Habitat for Humanity type organization only it was a local thing a co-op. This was 1972 nearly ten years before early 1980s super crazy inflation so even then it was hard to afford a home.

Everyone on the street knew each other even one street over either way people knew everyone's names and children's names. As people moved away new owners bought the homes it was OK for a while new people. But now a younger generation starkly different in attitude and behaviour.

Now it's like living in some dystopian alien hellscape. OK maybe that's a bit too much but it's surreal. Nobody goes outside, not even to sit on decks former owners built, vegetable garden plots and not planted, laundry is not put on lines, food is all "Ubered", windows are all shut (for AC?) blinds down.

Grass on lawns is a foot high, plants of former owners grow wild and are unkempt. Supposedly "no mow may" for dandelions (local bio prof says is bunk) or to be green but I suspect it's linked to never seeing anyone outside ever more than for environmental reasons.

Every single one has a dog too which was rare years ago maybe a few people had dogs. Now maybe 1 in 10 or even 1 in 20 homes has any children human children I should clarify.

Here I am outside in the vegetable garden, or on the deck in summer. Yet all homes are sealed up, no activity except for thumps of car doors as people leave or come home. The bluish glow of monitors nearly constant. Sometimes it feels like I am living in a horror movie.

It's hard to greet people as they run to and from their cars never to be seen again.

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