141–150 of 330 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…
I think it's less that people don't actually want to know than it is that people don't actually want to share. But I'm from the Midwest, originally, and that's just kind of how we are. Expanding on this just a little bit... I think that, in the Midwest but I'm sure in many other distinct American cultural regions, there's a sort of shared, but subdued, understanding that each of us is uniquely going through some shit…
Mr. Rogers was my actual neighbor in Pittsburgh in 1999-2000, while I was at CMU. He would really go out of his way to have social interactions. He would always say hello and ask how you were doing in a way that felt like he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer. Case of the person in real life being exactly like what he seems like on TV.
This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…
I think it's exactly a bit like a modem preamble, but it's an opportunity to create a conversation and give both people in the conversation a chance to set the tone. It can really be used to genuinely find out the answer to the question, but a lot of people don't want to share their personal challenges with strangers, coworkers, or even acquaintances. You may not enough know exactly what level of intimacy is included in your relationship with another person or whether you are at the point to move to that next level, this simple question gives them the opportunity to either dive into something that's very personal or to keep it light-hearted and move along.
It's not a throwaway, it's a respectful way to start a conversation that gives the other person agency in setting the tone.
I live in an apartment, and I don't even know what the person who lives next to me looks like. Why would I ask them? People are living their own lives, why am I going to invade into someone's life to make myself feel better
This seems shortsighted. There are dozens of reasons you may want to get to know your neighbors: help each other out, become friends, watch a package, babysit, petsit, and so forth. Sure, nothing may happen from an interaction, but it seems one of the unique aspects of living in an apartment complex is that you can easily know your neighbors. I live in a large neighborhood of single-family homes and know many of my n…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…
That reminds me of Tig Notaro's incredible stand-up set when she found out she had cancer: "I have cancer, how are you?" "Is everyone having a good time? I have cancer." It's a masterpiece, in my opinion. Tig finds an intensely awkward situation with an audience that showed up for comedy, and just presses on it relentlessly. I really hope that when it's my turn, I can handle it like her. https://www.youtube.com/watch…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think it's less that people don't actually want to know than it is that people don't actually want to share. But I'm from the Midwest, originally, and that's just kind of how we are. Expanding on this just a little bit... I think that, in the Midwest but I'm sure in many other distinct American cultural regions, there's a sort of shared, but subdued, understanding that each of us is uniquely going through some shit…
https://twitter.com/midwestern_ope/status/122834785331730022...
Where does anyone live that they even see their neighbors to greet? Not here in the suburbs.
Now, I'll qualify that by saying that Redmond in general is a lot more pedestrian-friendly than a lot of suburbs I've experienced. And in the last twenty years or so, it's also quite wealthy. And seeing your neighbors also entails getting outside. ;-)
Earlier quoted context omitted.
"Loners are probably much more likely to die of say, having a heart attack and not receiving help promptly." On the other hand, loners won't get a heart attack caused by other people ..
"People who experienced social isolation had a 32% higher risk of dying early from any cause compared with those who weren't socially isolated." https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/06/19/health/loneliness-social-...
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Not the person you responded to, but I'll bite. I live in an affluent nearly all-white suburban neighborhood. I know everyone within two houses in any direction, and a few that are even farther than that. We have one recluse and one Karen, but everyone else is super laid back. It's delightful. I've lived in a range of neighborhoods over my life, and I haven't really seen a pattern. My gut instinct is that attitude is…
No shade but I'd like to hear from one of the non-white neighbors about how delightful it is? I do generally assume the white people living in all-white places are having a good time with it.
The rest of the neighbors are a younger and more diverse crowd who have moved here within the last decade. A few of them will wave hi occasionally. More commonly they will avoid eye contact.
IMO it is a generational thing and not racial.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
"People who experienced social isolation had a 32% higher risk of dying early from any cause compared with those who weren't socially isolated." https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/06/19/health/loneliness-social-...
I always wonder about those statistics, I could imagine an extrovert is going to have a much tougher time being alone than an introvert. To apply it across the whole population seems dubious.