61–70 of 330 posts
My father in law lives in Yorkshire, where people regularly say hello to each other when out and about, particularly in the morning. We live in London, where this is highly unusual. When visiting he came on our usual morning walk in the park, and said hello, good morning to someone. They were completely flabbergasted and could only muster a garbled reply through the shock.
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I think you'll find that community matters even more in rural towns. We are social animals. We can't do it all alone. That modern society has enabled us to be 'reclusive' is frankly a maladaptive outcome.
There have always been hermits even before modern times, but I agree it's a high risk life strategy. Loners are probably much more likely to die of say, having a heart attack and not receiving help promptly.
On the other hand, loners won't get a heart attack caused by other people ..
In our last house we knew 90% of the people on our street and regularly interacted with them. We have been in our new house for just over 2 years and only know our neighbors on one side of our house. The neighbor in the other house moved in just a week after we did. In those 2 years we have seen him only once, they day he moved in when he pulled up in his car, got out (without looking our way), opened the garage door…
Why would you move away from such a nice situation?
Some people like people ..
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Sounds blissful. I'm a fairly introverted, reclusive person. Much like your one neighbour. I keep to myself. I do know my neighbours. The couple on one side is delightful and the woman on the other side is a "Karen" who I prefer not associate with. She is an outdoor person and only "talks" to me when she has a problem with how I keep my yard. Ironically I would probably use my yard more (and thus tend to it more) if…
I think you'll find that community matters even more in rural towns. We are social animals. We can't do it all alone. That modern society has enabled us to be 'reclusive' is frankly a maladaptive outcome.
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Did you move into an affluent & predominantly white neighborhood? I will probably get shit for this, but this has been the norm in those from my experience. After I got into tech I lived in a couple of them for five years then just gave up and moved back to the underdeveloped part of the city I grew up in, where people are willing to acknowledge each other.
here’s your counter-point. now the sample size is two. lived in a diverse, affluent, tech/corpo neighborhood, most neighbors ignored or were passive aggressive - the kind where you know you aren’t being ignored because the behavior is too egregious to not be aware of the impact. you aren’t being ignored, you aren’t worth ignoring. lived in an older, affluent neighborhood. four neighbors that would likely be described…
long term residents vs. new blood. different motivations and world view, and playing different games.
i'm in a well off 'burb next to a university, no one talks. lots of community leagues, posters about clubs, etc. but none of the neighbors interact. lots of renters, med students, et al, and they'll be gone in 3 years.
previous neighborhood was a poorer downtown apartment neighborhood owned by old italian ladies. they didn't do management companies or automated rent transfers, they made a point to come around every month, both to collect, but also to check in. they genuinely cared about knowing people, and wanted us to talk to each other -- helped prevent things like break-ins and accidental fires, etc.
Good morning my Hacker News digital neighbors, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night.
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No we aren’t social animals, certainly not in rural areas. Give me a good book and a quiet afternoon in the shade of a tree with no neighbours any day.
You maybe not. But having lived in very rural areas you quickly realize that your neighbors are your safety net far more than the authorities and that in a pinch you all need to be able to rely on each other. A good book isn't going to get your car out of a ditch or help locate your kid or pet when it has gone missing.
I’ve never need to rely on anyone, other than of course normal economic transactions.
Why would I park my car in a ditch?
Mr. Rogers was my actual neighbor in Pittsburgh in 1999-2000, while I was at CMU. He would really go out of his way to have social interactions. He would always say hello and ask how you were doing in a way that felt like he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer. Case of the person in real life being exactly like what he seems like on TV.
This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…
"How's it going?" can be either a throwaway acknowledgment, or it can be a light opener to a longer conversation.
This sounds like a "one little weird trick to boost your happiness: greet six neighbors."
The important factors are the other things: having a high income, living in a good neighborhood, and and being a good community member. These increase your wellbeing, then of course you'll say hi to everyone.
Mr. Rogers was my actual neighbor in Pittsburgh in 1999-2000, while I was at CMU. He would really go out of his way to have social interactions. He would always say hello and ask how you were doing in a way that felt like he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer. Case of the person in real life being exactly like what he seems like on TV.
This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…