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Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

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Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#111
post #92
post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How could intellect, or the ability to reason and understand things ever be a problem connecting socially? If it's a problem, then it's not intellect but rather a lack of something. I would suggest it's a lack of intellect, or the lack of understanding the people around you and being able to find common threads of interest. This isn't a problem of high intellect. Everyone has absolute loads of things in common with e…

Many intelligent people like having intelligent conversations. The kind of conversations where they learn new perspectives and where ideas can be challenged. If those conversations are not possible you get stuck making small talk, which is not all that satisfying. Ever notice how SAHPs get starved for adult conversation? Parents have many things in common with their children and they care about their lives. They can…

no i don't notice that, and i moved back to my suburban hometown where everyone is pushing a stroller.

STAHP love connecting with adults to... talk about their kids.

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#112

Call me crazy, but as a highly analytical person that has spent 70% of my waking hours in the last five years working on something technical, my social skills are best when I'm hungover. The logical analytical side of me is diminished and I am much more "normal". I have a much higher rate of success on dates with women when I have a really bad hang over and then a few drinks. It does feel like a lobotomy, and that's…

It does feel like a lobotomy, and that's fine.

Not sure what to make of a statement like this. But what seems missing in this analysis is that by this point (and it sounds like it's taken you years to get here) you've probably completely forgotten what it's like to just be completely sober and to completely forget about drinking altogether.

Which is very different from the low-functioning refactory state (that is -- post-hangover, pre-next-drink) within the cycle of long-term regular alcohol use.

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#113
post #9

Drinking slows down my brain and reduces the number of threads running in parallel. Sometimes very useful to enable normal-passing interaction in social environments. Or just to be able to focus. Lots of people with ADHD drink to achieve a more single threaded experience. Edit to add: I don't meant to encourage drinking as a tool for managing ADHD. It works but it's a blunt and dangerous tool. If you're at that point…

This rings true. I went to a reasonably well known engineering school, so...some selection for ADHD folks. As someone diagnosed with ADHD young, it was frightening to see how many of my fellows were 1) clearly struggling with ADHD, and 2) were destructively self-medicating with alcohol (or worse). And it hasn't stopped. Decades later there's still those folks who are hammered at every social function and a good percentage of them I think "yeah...self medicating the noise in their head". I certainly understand the appeal (I'm no tea-totaller), but long-term, booze is a work-around, not a solution.

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#114
Let's consider this quote

"All human life, we may say, consists solely of these two activities: (1) bringing one’s activities into harmony with conscience, or (2) hiding from oneself the indications of conscience in order to be able to continue to live as before."

Note that he has defined all of life as two points about "one" and "oneself". This is why I and I assume many others roll their eyes.

Because Tolstoy, and most essays about alcohol, don't even mention what I think is the point of alcohol. It's a drug that makes it easier to socialize, and socializing is very, very good for people. So good that I will risk it, even though alcohol is bad in many ways: bad for physical and mental health, risky for abuse, etc.

If you are anti alcohol, that is reasonable, but it seems no one will ever admit what it's really for.

This is important, because alcohol is unhealthy and if you want to discourage it, give people other low effort ways to connect.

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#115

Let's consider this quote "All human life, we may say, consists solely of these two activities: (1) bringing one’s activities into harmony with conscience, or (2) hiding from oneself the indications of conscience in order to be able to continue to live as before." Note that he has defined all of life as two points about "one" and "oneself". This is why I and I assume many others roll their eyes. Because Tolstoy, and…

I enjoy drinking alone.

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#116
post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Alcohol and other drugs feel good and allow you to have a good time by allowing you to escape negative emotional experiences and just enjoy the moment: fear, social anxiety, trauma. Without those negative feelings, you would already feel good, and the alcohol would lose it's appeal.

You're confusing "drinking as a coping mechanism" and "drinking for recreation". You know what rich college students don't have a lot of? "fear, social anxiety, and trauma". Know what they do a lot of? booze, sex, and drugs. You show me the most content, meditation-and-philosophizing-on-a-Friday-night person, and I'll show you someone who could be having an even better time on MDMA. Booze, sex, and drugs are just lif…

Some people believe that dopamine is not happiness and that lasting happiness requires different life choices than chasing drugs and sex

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#117

Let's consider this quote "All human life, we may say, consists solely of these two activities: (1) bringing one’s activities into harmony with conscience, or (2) hiding from oneself the indications of conscience in order to be able to continue to live as before." Note that he has defined all of life as two points about "one" and "oneself". This is why I and I assume many others roll their eyes. Because Tolstoy, and…

I enjoy drinking alone.

you’re socializing with yourself

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#118
Everyone warns you about alcohol, but I have only had positive experiences, and in fact, wish I started drinking sooner in life. When I was going through a period of general anxiety and loneliness, I used to drink alone every weekend. It was a lot of fun and led to some of my best decisions, such as applying for a new job. Nowadays, I'm in a more stable place and only drink socially.

I feel like my mind is by default "extra sober", and drinking helps bring it to a normal level of sobriety.

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#119
post #113
post #9

Drinking slows down my brain and reduces the number of threads running in parallel. Sometimes very useful to enable normal-passing interaction in social environments. Or just to be able to focus. Lots of people with ADHD drink to achieve a more single threaded experience. Edit to add: I don't meant to encourage drinking as a tool for managing ADHD. It works but it's a blunt and dangerous tool. If you're at that point…

This rings true. I went to a reasonably well known engineering school, so...some selection for ADHD folks. As someone diagnosed with ADHD young, it was frightening to see how many of my fellows were 1) clearly struggling with ADHD, and 2) were destructively self-medicating with alcohol (or worse). And it hasn't stopped. Decades later there's still those folks who are hammered at every social function and a good perce…

> This rings true. I went to a reasonably well known engineering school, so...some selection for ADHD folks.

Can you expand on this. Do you think think engineering schools select for ADHD? Just curious, haven't heard this before.

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#120

Let's consider this quote "All human life, we may say, consists solely of these two activities: (1) bringing one’s activities into harmony with conscience, or (2) hiding from oneself the indications of conscience in order to be able to continue to live as before." Note that he has defined all of life as two points about "one" and "oneself". This is why I and I assume many others roll their eyes. Because Tolstoy, and…

People are far more social in middle eastern countries where alcohol is banned.
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