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Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

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Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#71

Post by ldjkfkdsjnv »

nvy wrote: post #69
ldjkfkdsjnv wrote: post #5

Call me crazy, but as a highly analytical person that has spent 70% of my waking hours in the last five years working on something technical, my social skills are best when I'm hungover. The logical analytical side of me is diminished and I am much more "normal". I have a much higher rate of success on dates with women when I have a really bad hang over and then a few drinks. It does feel like a lobotomy, and that's…

Are you sure it's the raw intellect turning women away and not, you know, unpleasant levels of arrogance?

haha :) didnt realize this came off so poorly

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#72

Post by drekipus »

wjholden wrote: post #34
nostromo wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I prefer my husband's company when he's a bit tired because when he's well rested he can be "too much" -- his energy level, his anxiousness, his sense of humor, are all amplified, sometimes to an annoying degree. I've noticed this with other guys that just need to chill out a bit when socializing -- especially tech folks. It's more about energy level than smartness. No need to be hungover -- maybe just relax a bit, t…

This is a really interesting perspective. I wonder: does intense exercise achieve the same outcome? Fasting? Low-sugar diet?

Meditation would be the big one. It's an intentional "go slow" mentality

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#73

Post by toolz »

johnfn wrote: post #53
zarakshR wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If I am in my normal raw intellect, I will begin going deep on some topic thats outside the range of normal human discourse. It will be hard for me to stop, because of my interest. Alcohol removes that to a large degree. Peak HN.

Is there something wrong with talking about the problems associated with intelligence? They certainly exist and I think most intelligent people are familiar with them - but whenever I see them brought up they get casually brushed off with comments such as yours. I can't see how they're categorically different than any other set of problems.

How could intellect, or the ability to reason and understand things ever be a problem connecting socially? If it's a problem, then it's not intellect but rather a lack of something. I would suggest it's a lack of intellect, or the lack of understanding the people around you and being able to find common threads of interest. This isn't a problem of high intellect. Everyone has absolute loads of things in common with every other human on this planet. If you can't connect with another human, it's not because of high intellect.

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#74

Post by mensetmanusman »

shortcake27 wrote: post #11
ProllyInfamous wrote: post #2

People ~~do~~ abuse drugs to escape seemingly-insurmountable problem(s) in their life. "The opposite of addiction is connection" ——Gabriel Maté I have been "clean" from a past life for 14 years. Every day is a challenge.

Eh, I don’t think it’s that deep. I take drugs because it feels good and I have a good time, so the risks are worth it. I have zero interest maximising my lifespan at the expense of enjoyment. I’ll never understand why the general population is so hell-bent on preventing people from enjoying their own life.

Maybe you are the exception.

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#75

Post by rainonmoon »

johnfn wrote: post #53
zarakshR wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If I am in my normal raw intellect, I will begin going deep on some topic thats outside the range of normal human discourse. It will be hard for me to stop, because of my interest. Alcohol removes that to a large degree. Peak HN.

Is there something wrong with talking about the problems associated with intelligence? They certainly exist and I think most intelligent people are familiar with them - but whenever I see them brought up they get casually brushed off with comments such as yours. I can't see how they're categorically different than any other set of problems.

Those aren't problems with intelligence, they're "problems" (insofar as they are problems, debatable) with things like social anxiety, inability or unwillingness to read social cues, superiority complexes (or inferiority complexes) etc. None of these are intrinsic to having an enormous capacity to learn, as multitudes of smart and charismatic people will attest. Part of this is also a matter of self-perception. Hey, lots of not very smart people also like to talk about their topics of interest beyond the appropriate span of patience. Plenty of them worry about that tendency as much as those burdened with Promethean intellect as well; plenty of them don't.

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#76

Post by yamazakiwi »

glonq wrote: post #14

One of the reasons why I don't drink is that I like being me . Specifically... - I like who I am when I'm sober, and don't expect that I would like 'drunk me'. - I like being in full control over what I experience and how I experience it. - I also enjoy remembering (and not regretting) those experiences.

For the sake of contrast to your post, I present my terrible personality.

When I'm sober I feel simultaneously manic and under-stimulated. I tend to exhibit uncooperative or argumentative behavior. This leads me to avoid others and isolate because I don't want them to get mad or dislike me. I have a hard time shutting my mouth. I'm so tired of playing the game of socializing, most people have nothing interesting or unpredictable to say or talk about.

When I'm drunk, I'm actually nice and can lie to kick it. I'm genuinely more loving, forgiving, and fun-loving.

- I like who I am when I'm drunk, and I don't like sober me

- I don't feel a loss of control and my experiences are better when I am able to let go of pretension and disappointment.

- I remember everything that happens to me, at worst I forget a non-important conversation

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#77

Post by johnfn »

toolz wrote: post #73
johnfn wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is there something wrong with talking about the problems associated with intelligence? They certainly exist and I think most intelligent people are familiar with them - but whenever I see them brought up they get casually brushed off with comments such as yours. I can't see how they're categorically different than any other set of problems.

How could intellect, or the ability to reason and understand things ever be a problem connecting socially? If it's a problem, then it's not intellect but rather a lack of something. I would suggest it's a lack of intellect, or the lack of understanding the people around you and being able to find common threads of interest. This isn't a problem of high intellect. Everyone has absolute loads of things in common with e…

> How could intellect, or the ability to reason and understand things ever be a problem connecting socially?

Really? You don't think that intelligence has multiple components - raw intelligence, social intelligence, etc? And that you could in theory be good at one but not at the other?

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#79

Post by ldjkfkdsjnv »

RoddaWallPro wrote: post #35
ldjkfkdsjnv wrote: post #5

Call me crazy, but as a highly analytical person that has spent 70% of my waking hours in the last five years working on something technical, my social skills are best when I'm hungover. The logical analytical side of me is diminished and I am much more "normal". I have a much higher rate of success on dates with women when I have a really bad hang over and then a few drinks. It does feel like a lobotomy, and that's…

I relate to this, though perhaps obliquely. I feel far more peaceful and centered when I am hungover. I don't have a thousand things flying around the edges of my brain, nipping at my consciousness. I just _am_. Drinking can do that for me too, but it shuts off so much of my brain that eventually, it's like being what I imagine a dog is. Completely reactive, with almost no higher thinking. Not that that is bad. I enj…

Yeah the issue is its really unhealthy to drink enough to be hungover multiple times a week. But then the question is, what are we saving ourselves for? Life is happening.

I've tried meditation, could never reach a high enough level with it to feel sustained peace/calmness. I should put more effort into it though

Re: Leo Tolstoy on why people drink (2014)

#80

Post by anthomtb »

nostromo wrote: post #29
ldjkfkdsjnv wrote: post #5

Call me crazy, but as a highly analytical person that has spent 70% of my waking hours in the last five years working on something technical, my social skills are best when I'm hungover. The logical analytical side of me is diminished and I am much more "normal". I have a much higher rate of success on dates with women when I have a really bad hang over and then a few drinks. It does feel like a lobotomy, and that's…

I prefer my husband's company when he's a bit tired because when he's well rested he can be "too much" -- his energy level, his anxiousness, his sense of humor, are all amplified, sometimes to an annoying degree. I've noticed this with other guys that just need to chill out a bit when socializing -- especially tech folks. It's more about energy level than smartness. No need to be hungover -- maybe just relax a bit, t…

> maybe just relax a bit, take things slower

I agree with what you are saying about energy levels but take issue with these suggestions. How does an inherently anxious and energetic person "just relax" and "take things slowly"? I mean, the phrase "just relax" generates (for a younger version of me) a thought bubble that would read: I thought I was relaxed!!

> talk less, go on fewer (or no) tangents

What's worse, someone babbling about something they're excited about? Or sitting in awkward silence because they're mentally keeping score of who's saying more words in the conversation?

Again, I am 100% with you on the excess energy levels making someone annoying. I am just looking for actionable, less generic suggestions. To bring it back to the start of your post:

> I prefer my husband's company when he's tired

How does your husband get tired enough to be tolerable?

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