21–30 of 146 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Don’t forget people overvaluing talent as one of the main excuses while minimizing what they can control.
Always bet on grit. It's a learnable skill and you never lose it.
If you’re going to marry, marry well. I'd wager that 90% of not getting what you want in adulthood relates to compromise or deferral to your spouse.
I do not have parents to give advice, and no “marriage role models” to speak of. This has lead me into a situation where I was poached into marriage and used to fulfil another’s needs - one who does not take my own needs into account.
It’s going to be a mess to get out of, but lesson learned…
* If you are wondering why people laugh at this, it's because goal-setting and high-level planning is so much easier than actually doing something, which is where it all fails. See also TODO bankruptcy.
This is a long post – 2200 words Alternative: Watch Netlfix series "Arnold"
> Arnold Schwarzenegger stepped down after seven years as California's governor on Monday, leaving the state struggling with a fiscal crisis that has pushed it to the brink of bankruptcy. https://www.france24.com/en/20110104-schwarzenegger-steps-do...
If you’re going to marry, marry well. I'd wager that 90% of not getting what you want in adulthood relates to compromise or deferral to your spouse.
> Quite often a reasonable, achievable, and worthwhile desire goes unpursued because we have a simultaneous desire to not pursue it. When we say something is “impossible” or “too hard” or “not in the cards,” that’s a clue. This resonates. Many who are stuck frustrated not getting what they want have talked themselves out of trying to get it to begin with. A good another clue is 3rd party attribution. "My life is bad…
It’s a self-truthing statement. As in, everyone who doesn’t agree with you is also excluded from your criteria. So from your point of view, you are absolutely right. It goes like this: - Papa deer: “Remember son, you have the power to make objects move by thought. If you see a car rolling towards you, STARE at it straight in the headlights and concentrate and move it with your mind.” - Son deer: “Isn’t that how grand…
here are some personal observations which you may or may not agree with.
1. you need to be in reasonable shape. pay no attention to the exceptions to this rule, they don't apply to you. so get fit however you want. the more the better. nobody wants to fuck a slug.
2. you don't NEED money, but it certainly doesn't hurt. truly not caring about bills/expenses exudes something you can't fake. broke dudes can truly not care about bills also, from the other side. counter-intuitive, right? if you were broke, could you fake it convincingly? no, probably not. because the exceptions don't apply to you.
3. if you show an ounce, a smidge, one iota, a mere hint of neediness, you're fuckin' GONE. again, pay no attention to the exceptions because they don't apply to you. this can be anything from needing to text/communicate way too often, or weighing other peoples' opinions too much, or being unsure of how to deal with a situation. if you're confused about life just keep it to yourself and ask your male friends or older guys. being confident and wrong is an easy fix if you're a fast learner. being a wishy washy dork is unforgiveable.
4. learn how to dress well in your own style. the exceptions don't apply to you. everyone has their own style so there's not much to say here other than make sure everything fits.
5. being good at sex matters a lot, or at least not terrible. you need a solid baseline upon which to improve. this may seem like a catch-22 because it is. catch-22 is the base layer of reality of the male condition. if you want success you need to figure it out, just like in business. just fucking figure it out, smart guy. the exceptions don't apply to you.
6. height and race matters a lot. if you're short or not white you need to work harder at everything, unless you are exceptional, which you clearly are not. whether or not this is worth it is up to you. if the threshold for effort is deemed to be too much, that's a valid response to a skewed market. just know that every other guy out there is hoping you give up.
7. a woman can break up with you or dump you or ghost you for absolutely no reason at all even if you are the perfect ideal person on paper. this is a non-deterministic field of outcomes. if you get upset at this, you need to grow up.
8. persistence in the face of overwhelming odds against you is how you succeed in business, it applies here also. some are lucky, they are exceptional, and you are not.
> Quite often a reasonable, achievable, and worthwhile desire goes unpursued because we have a simultaneous desire to not pursue it. When we say something is “impossible” or “too hard” or “not in the cards,” that’s a clue. This resonates. Many who are stuck frustrated not getting what they want have talked themselves out of trying to get it to begin with. A good another clue is 3rd party attribution. "My life is bad…
It’s a self-truthing statement. As in, everyone who doesn’t agree with you is also excluded from your criteria. So from your point of view, you are absolutely right. It goes like this: - Papa deer: “Remember son, you have the power to make objects move by thought. If you see a car rolling towards you, STARE at it straight in the headlights and concentrate and move it with your mind.” - Son deer: “Isn’t that how grand…
I would bet a good therapist or dating coach could help you.
If you’re going to marry, marry well. I'd wager that 90% of not getting what you want in adulthood relates to compromise or deferral to your spouse.
Certainly feeling this right now. I do not have parents to give advice, and no “marriage role models” to speak of. This has lead me into a situation where I was poached into marriage and used to fulfil another’s needs - one who does not take my own needs into account. It’s going to be a mess to get out of, but lesson learned…
If you’re going to marry, marry well. I'd wager that 90% of not getting what you want in adulthood relates to compromise or deferral to your spouse.
The typical family lifestyle is not for everyone and the propaganda pushing it is very strong from day 0. It took me about a decade to get over the feeling of "I am a piece of shit" for not participating in the circus that most of us think is perfectly normal and/or mandatory.
Another way to getting what you want of course, is to think about what you really want and change that to something you can achieve almost immediately. The article alludes to this: > Do you want to be self-employed? Or do you just need some time off from your normally-tolerable day job? Do you truly want washboard abs, or just to see an energetic, healthy person in the mirror for once? And: > There can also be things…
Interestingly this is a staple of Eastern philosophy that I heard growing up. The advise was to focus on our actions but not the fruit of our actions.