Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Dating, education, and sex ratios

robkhenderson.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

121–130 of 446 posts

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#121

Post by andrewmcwatters »

EatingWithForks wrote: post #113
andrewmcwatters wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, and all of that sounds totally reasonable until you have a working knowledge of lots of interactions between tons of real people you've actually spoken with and had connections with to learn how life actually works. Your requirements per a "functional adult" are an example of people asking for too much because they have no practical understanding of reality: Americans don't eat properly . The average American i…

I wouldn't consider weight to be a good indicator of capacity to make meals. I know thin people who I wouldn't trust to make me a cup of water and I know fat people who can adhere to a strict diet for their children. I also wouldn't consider CPI-W and CPI-U to be cost-of-living concerns. I consider being able to say "hey, honey, we can't spend 500$ on your mobile game because eggs cost 7 for a dozen at the grocery st…

Missing the forest for the trees.

Fat people truly adhering to proper eating don't stay fat. Cost of living and budgets are two separate but related topics.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#122

Post by majormajor »

blackbear_ wrote: post #111
majormajor wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The education gap between men and women are growing. More women enroll and graduate from college then men. Many young men, mostly lower-middle class, (whether fairly or not) feel like the education system does not work for them. So, like, isn't the question "why"? Why do boys, particularly lower- or lower-middle class, not believe in the education system as much as their sisters? School sucks, work sucks, then you…

A possible explanation is that most teachers in primary school are female, which creates an environment and behavioral expectations that favor girls, e.g.: - Teachers and the Gender Gaps in Student Achievement - https://jhr.uwpress.org/content/XLII/3/528 - Gender differences in teachers’ perceptions of students’ temperament, educational competence, and teachability - https://doi.org/10.1111/j.2044-8279.2010.02017.x

That seems weird though, right? Cause in the US teachers, especially for early-childhood, have been predominantly female since before this gap.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#123

Post by EatingWithForks »

andrewmcwatters wrote: post #121
EatingWithForks wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wouldn't consider weight to be a good indicator of capacity to make meals. I know thin people who I wouldn't trust to make me a cup of water and I know fat people who can adhere to a strict diet for their children. I also wouldn't consider CPI-W and CPI-U to be cost-of-living concerns. I consider being able to say "hey, honey, we can't spend 500$ on your mobile game because eggs cost 7 for a dozen at the grocery st…

Missing the forest for the trees. Fat people truly adhering to proper eating don't stay fat. Cost of living and budgets are two separate but related topics.

I think you're kind of missing the point I'm trying to make. There's no point in someone who can define a term for broader trends if they cannot balance a personal budget. The capacity to define a broader trend can inform budgets, but I wouldn't date someone who is shocked when they have no money left for food because they spent it all on a shoe sale. I wouldn't consider that person a functional adult even if they happened to be thin and understood nuances between cost of living statistical measurements.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#124

Post by andrewmcwatters »

EatingWithForks wrote: post #123
andrewmcwatters wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Missing the forest for the trees. Fat people truly adhering to proper eating don't stay fat. Cost of living and budgets are two separate but related topics.

I think you're kind of missing the point I'm trying to make. There's no point in someone who can define a term for broader trends if they cannot balance a personal budget. The capacity to define a broader trend can inform budgets, but I wouldn't date someone who is shocked when they have no money left for food because they spent it all on a shoe sale. I wouldn't consider that person a functional adult even if they ha…

[flagged]

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#126

Post by maxsilver »

chongli wrote: post #117
maxsilver wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We're "millenial-ish" (in that, we're all between 25 to 40yrs old). I myself am not over 35 just yet. > It’s a very different story if you try talking to people in their 20’s or younger. Is it? We're old enough that half of us have kids, and some of us have teenaged kids (13-19yrs old), and they also have friends and such. It doesn't seem that different to me. (They're less willing to tolerate arbitrary BS, but other…

Teenagers who haven’t gone to college yet won’t be that different. When they move out and live among peers and take courses from professors with views very different from home, you’ll see how things change!

> When they move out and live among peers and take courses from professors with views very different from home,

Why would professors have "views" all that different from home? Professors are regular people too.

(Two of us in our friend group / community, are literally employed college professors, others are elementary teachers, software developers, IT folks, one designer, one electrical engineer, two in marketing, one who is in HR, one is a city bus driver, one who works in an automotive parts plant, one is a nurse, etc)

You guys like, have friends, right? Like, people who you see semi-regularly and are from your community, but who aren't necessarily from your employer or in your career / direct field-of-work? Friends that aren't also LinkedIn contacts?

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#127

Post by scarmig »

tester457 wrote: post #120
scarmig wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They are outcompeting men in their premarriage years; in the most significant metros, single women's income matches or exceeds single men's. And as of 2016 40% of managers are female. I agree that women tend to not be going for the riskiest jobs or those that require significant tradeoffs in work-life balance; for those, you need a supportive spouse, and there are both demand- and supply-side issues in pairings where…

> I agree that women tend to not be going for the riskiest jobs or those that require significant tradeoffs in work-life balance; for those, you need a supportive spouse, and there are both demand- and supply-side issues in pairings where males play the supportive role to a female primary earner. Choosing more risky jobs may be male biology and the gender equality paradox. No increase in supply of supportive husbands…

That was badly stated on my part, and I mostly agree with you on the risky-career part (though the work-life tradeoff is a separate axis and one where I think my point holds).

Men probably do choose riskier careers early on in significant part because it increases payouts in the relationship market relative to women. Going from well-off to rich doesn't actually improve material well-being much for either men or women, but it does significantly improve relationship prospects for men in a way it doesn't for women. It becomes a matter of economics: the real payout (inclusive of non-monetary elements) for success in a risky bet is higher for men than women, and so men choose to take those risky bets more often.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#128

Post by drooby »

ctvo wrote: post #86
drooby wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ding ding ding…. It’s not about education… or income, it’s about STATUS.

Maybe? I know a lot of highly educated, successful women who wouldn't date Kevin Durant, for example. The idea of a rich man child trolling on burner accounts regardless of their high profile doesn't exactly drive them crazy. Replace Kevin Durant with Elon Musk if you're not a sports fan.

Status is subjective depending on your social circles.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#129

Post by EatingWithForks »

andrewmcwatters wrote: post #124
EatingWithForks wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you're kind of missing the point I'm trying to make. There's no point in someone who can define a term for broader trends if they cannot balance a personal budget. The capacity to define a broader trend can inform budgets, but I wouldn't date someone who is shocked when they have no money left for food because they spent it all on a shoe sale. I wouldn't consider that person a functional adult even if they ha…

[flagged]

I never said people don't get budgets wrong. I merely said it's reasonable to try to prioritize dating people who can sensibly budget according to their income and their cost of goods and services in their area. It shouldn't be a consistent problem that you run out of rent money because you didn't budget for paying rent. I think you're misunderstanding my words because you're conflating these sets of preferences like some kind of demand for idealized humans. I think I'm pointing out that people's desires aren't unreasonable and exaggerating them is just strawman behavior.

Savings rates being at all-time lows doesn't mean that people don't know how to budget. It might be that budgeting has become much harder. Similarly, I don't think someone being fat means they don't understand how to cook a healthy meal. It might be that keeping thin has become much harder.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#130

Post by pizzafeelsright »

majormajor wrote: post #31
pizzafeelsright wrote: post #12

What I find interesting and I am curious if these conversations can happen anymore. I no longer discuss anything related to gender, relationships, or personal life dynamics with anyone outside of my bubble. I would enjoy the conversation, learning about another's ideas and understanding although despite assurances of maturity and openness conversation ends due to their inflammatory pronouncements. I do not believe id…

When you say the "general public" do you mean the general online/Twitter public or, say, an acquaintance from a hobby?

People, not in my circles, who "touch grass" or are not entirely online.
Post reply on HN