Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#381

Post by stevage » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:22 AM UTC

osdoorp wrote: post #114

Volunteering. And before you brush it out skeptically, like "oh yeah right, those people", it really doesn't have to be anything you don't care about. I volunteer at a boat house on the city lake nearby, just putting kids on pedal boats and kayaks. I don't even call it volunteering, I just love kayaks and water. It's amazing how your perspective of time and people and service shifts, when you spend some time being "i…

Definitely! I like gardening. I started volunteering in a community garden, growing stuff for people who need more food. I like the people I work with, and I enjoy growing vegetables on a bigger scale than I can do in my own garden. And they make tea and cake, and often we get to take home some spare seedlings or whatever.

It's really great, it doesn't feel anything like "free labour", it mostly feels like hanging out with some nice people and doing a fun activity.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#382

Post by stevage » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:25 AM UTC

carlosjobim wrote: post #247

osdoorp wrote: post #114

Volunteering. And before you brush it out skeptically, like "oh yeah right, those people", it really doesn't have to be anything you don't care about. I volunteer at a boat house on the city lake nearby, just putting kids on pedal boats and kayaks. I don't even call it volunteering, I just love kayaks and water. It's amazing how your perspective of time and people and service shifts, when you spend some time being "i…

I think volunteering gets brushed off because in many places it is just a pure scam. The organizations collect money and then charge volunteers exorbitant sums for the privilege of working for free. I looked at volunteering about 15 years ago and from what I saw then, I have never entertained the thought again.

I'm sorry, but this is an absurd statement that might apply in some extremely narrow niche of "volunteering". But volunteering is a very broad activity that happens in all kinds of organisations, and even without any organisation at all.

It's sort of like you got food poisoning from eating Mexican food once, and from then on, decided to only ever eat burgers for the rest of your life.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#383

Post by stevage » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:25 AM UTC

thepasswordis wrote: post #337

Church. My wife and I sit in the cry room with out little kids, and have gotten to know the people that are there with us. It's gotten to the point where we have started recognizing these people all over town. Very cozy and nice. I'll say: having kids is obviously itself incredibly meaningful; as an additional benefit: kids are a fantastic ice-breaker/opener for other families with kids.

There are cry rooms?

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#384

Post by stevage » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:26 AM UTC

juujian wrote: post #291

donnfelker wrote: post #160

A fitness community. This could be either a BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) place or even a CrossFit gym. I've done both and while I'm not here to promote CrossFit, I am here to say that a group fitness class is awesome for meeting other people and finding a community of people that do something similar as you, but have absolutely nothing to do with your work. I workout with Police officers, Lawyers, Doctors, Dentists, Sta…

Yup. I joined a climbing gym. Hanging out with a lot of people both older and younger than you is refreshing. Not much shared misery though when it comes to climbing, always had a blast.

It's weird, I have done quite a bit of top-roping and bouldering, but never really found it conducive to making friendships. Or maybe I'm just not the right demographic (early 40s, male). Definitely I chat to people about specific problems, but it never really seems to go beyond that.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#385

Post by thepasswordis » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:36 AM UTC

stevage wrote: post #383

thepasswordis wrote: post #337

Church. My wife and I sit in the cry room with out little kids, and have gotten to know the people that are there with us. It's gotten to the point where we have started recognizing these people all over town. Very cozy and nice. I'll say: having kids is obviously itself incredibly meaningful; as an additional benefit: kids are a fantastic ice-breaker/opener for other families with kids.

There are cry rooms?

Yeah, like a room in the back specifically for crying babies (and their families).

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#386

Post by donutpepperoni » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:37 AM UTC

stevage wrote: post #383

thepasswordis wrote: post #337

Church. My wife and I sit in the cry room with out little kids, and have gotten to know the people that are there with us. It's gotten to the point where we have started recognizing these people all over town. Very cozy and nice. I'll say: having kids is obviously itself incredibly meaningful; as an additional benefit: kids are a fantastic ice-breaker/opener for other families with kids.

There are cry rooms?

[flagged]

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#387

Post by JambalayaJim » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:40 AM UTC

ashton314 wrote: post #26

andreynering wrote: post #3

The church is like a second family for me. I made so many great friends there! Of course it will not be for everyone, but if you are open to it you can try.

+1 for this. No church is perfect, but my experience is that church is a place where I can go to gather with people from diverse backgrounds, perspectives, and needs and come together on some common points: we need more than ourselves to make it through life, we need to be kinder, and we should serve each other. I have seen my congregation rally around new parents, people with mental health conditions, and other such…

While I totally understand why you'd find community there, I am surprised that you'd consider Church to be a place to find people of diverse backgrounds. That hasn't at all been my experience

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#388

Post by bradlys » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:41 AM UTC

stevage wrote: post #384

juujian wrote: post #291

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yup. I joined a climbing gym. Hanging out with a lot of people both older and younger than you is refreshing. Not much shared misery though when it comes to climbing, always had a blast.

It's weird, I have done quite a bit of top-roping and bouldering, but never really found it conducive to making friendships. Or maybe I'm just not the right demographic (early 40s, male). Definitely I chat to people about specific problems, but it never really seems to go beyond that.

I’m an early 30s male and I’m in your shoes as well. I found it to not be a very conducive space. I think it does vary a lot. I’ve only climbed significantly in NYC and SF. I’ve done some in PDX but not regularly.

I didn’t find any of the gyms I was at to be very “community” oriented. I think the personal experience depends a hell of a lot on how good of a climber you are and how you look. Typical tech looking guys were universally hated in all the gyms I went to - often enough with it being verbally said out loud to make sure they knew for sure. (Even if said people were doing nothing special)

There’s some weird shit going on in the US - tbh. Nerd hate is back on the rise.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#389

Post by syndacks » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:42 AM UTC

ellisd wrote: post #19

Raves, particularly ones that are designed to be “transformative” like Lightning in a Bottle in California. Music festivals with camping are magical ways to build community and inspire yourself around other like minded and curious people. I never attended these events until a near death experience prioritized my love of dancing in my early 30. Now nearly 10 years later I'm even more convinced this is the way.

Username checks out… I imagine much of this community you reference is mostly intoxicated with mind altering substances? Curious how that contributes to said community.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#390

Post by bradlys » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:45 AM UTC

donnfelker wrote: post #160

A fitness community. This could be either a BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) place or even a CrossFit gym. I've done both and while I'm not here to promote CrossFit, I am here to say that a group fitness class is awesome for meeting other people and finding a community of people that do something similar as you, but have absolutely nothing to do with your work. I workout with Police officers, Lawyers, Doctors, Dentists, Sta…

To be clear to folks about this - both BJJ and CrossFit have a community element to them. (Especially CrossFit as far as I’ve seen)

I cannot say that is true of everything else. Yoga has no community for most classes you’ll take out there. Same is true of Pilates. A lot of other fitness classes you’d take that are maybe doing HIIT or whatever - it’s gonna be the same show-up and immediately leave type of crowd.

CrossFit and some other fitness activities are very intentional about having a community and making one if it doesn’t exist. That’s why CrossFit was often referred to as a cult. It’s got a large community vibe.