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Why don’t more people live close to friends?

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Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#391

Post by maccard »

holistio wrote: post #306
maccard wrote: post #262

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The 2k town often/usually only has one of a cafe/restaurant/grocery store. Sounds like you've got a good town though! I live in a "mid sized" european city (500k), about 2km from the center, and the _only_ think I use my car for is getting out of the city. Within 10m walking I have pretty much everything I need, and within 20m of public transport (ironically, walking can be quicker for the short distances), I have pr…

I live in an area in one of the major European cities (Budapest) that locals just call "the village". It's right in the middle, close to the central district. It's got everything. From barbers to art galleries, from Portuguese cuisine to folklore shops, from luthiers to really good schools. A bustling art scene, clean streets. A huge shopping centre a nice park and an international transportation hub are all in in wa…

I grew up in a 50k "small city", and I hated it personally. It was big enough to have "everything you wanted", but small enough to feel like there was no escape, no anonymity, no privacy. Everyone knew everyone, and everyone knew everyone's business. The larger city with a smaller neighbourhood (which is a good description of most european cities that I've spent time in) are a great compromise I think.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#392

Post by jutrewag »

balfirevic wrote: post #292
iambateman wrote: post #85

Sprawl exists because it’s nice. People really like having a 3,000 square foot detached single family home with a 2 car garage. Especially when all of their friends have one. The only way everyone gets that, by definition, is sprawl. Of course, the drawbacks to personal health and well-being and societal stability are immense. But it’s really nice, too. Like, sitting in a massive basement with three TV’s while the gr…

> People really like having a 3,000 square foot detached single family home with a 2 car garage. Sure, I'd like that too. But also, how about 3000 square feet apartment with top-notch sound insulation and a balcony, with an underground garage? That sounds like it would have most of the benefits, I would actually prefer it, as I don't care about yards. And with 10-20 story buildings, you could still have quite a large…

No it’s missing the best part. The outdoors and having a huge backyard. You can’t have any hobbies like woodworking, metalworking, gardening/farming, animal husbandry etc. in that setup.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#393

Post by MrOwnPut »

packetlost wrote: post #383
MrOwnPut wrote: post #372

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or just live in a small town where all of your friends and needs are 5 minutes away. I see no point to overpopulated cities with remote work so prevalent nowadays. Cars aren't the problem, overpopulated cities are. I can walk my town end to end in 15 minutes, there's a coop, grocery store, hospital, entertainment, etc. You can drive to another town if you want, or drive and park anywhere without paying, or walk, or b…

I fail to see how overpopulation is the problem when cities like Tokyo exist.

I fail to see how cars are the problem since cities like Tokyo function with similar road layouts and hardly any pedestrian-only roads. (Source: I'm temporarily living in Tokyo right now)

Tokyo is extremely overcrowded, but its services and zoning are somewhat able to handle it, if you're okay with living in a 100sqm box and being squeezed into the train like a sardine and shove through the sidewalks / crossings during rush hour.

There's a reason why the Japanese government is always trying to incentivize people to move out to it's rural areas.

That being said, American cities cannot even handle a fraction of those population levels. It's not the cars that are the problem, it's the mismanagement of public resources and city planning that leads to lack of GOOD public transportation and zoning.

So until those US city leaders can figure out their shit, I'd suggest living in a small town, it has the wishlist everyone is always wanting here. Walkable end-to-end, bikeable, co-ops, fresh air, etc. Luckily we already did the hard work to connect these towns together and we have a LOT of land.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#394

Post by eloisant »

NikolaNovak wrote: post #21
nonethewiser wrote: post #5

Isn’t being friends with your neighbors a far more obvious answer to this? I thought that’s where this was going. > Sometime during the pandemic lockdowns, I began to nurture a fantasy,” Adrienne Matei writes. “What if I were neighbors with all of my friends? Every day, as I took long walks through North Vancouver that were still nowhere near long enough to land me at a single pal’s doorstep, I would reflect on the p…

In addition to what other have said, the definition of "friends" may change with time and context. Like yourself, my family was super "close" to our neighbours when I was growing up. But they weren't even remotely "friends" in the sense that I might use the word today - there were zero common interests; significantly different backgrounds, world perspectives, priorities, lifestyles; they had little to talk about othe…

> I think it's certainly possibly to establish such relationships with neighbours today, though it's hugely luck of the draw

It's something that is often critized as ghettoization, but that's why I think it's important to pick a neighborhood where you will find like minded-people.

Usually it comes naturally as you're guided by your budget, and will naturally like the same neighborhood as your peers, but it can be tempting to get a bigger house for the same budget in a "less fancy" neighborhood that you would match better for you.

Also, it depends on the country but it's important to pick a neighborhood where you'll be confident to send your kids to the local public school instead of having them go to a school further away. This way you ensure your kids live close to their friends.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#395

Post by somewhereoutth »

hibikir wrote: post #163
zamnos wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a bit of an unconventional POV, but I don't consider large areas of suburban sprawl to be cities but just really big towns. This covers Houston, swaths of Atlanta, lots of Southern California. There are lots of people living there compared to rural areas, to be sure, but without the density to support usable public transportation (once-an-hour buses don't count), it's really not a city at all. It's endless su…

If anything, you are being too nice to US suburbs: It's perfectly possible to have towns that are much denser than any US suburb. My Spanish home town has about 100K inhabitants: You'd not call that a city anywhere in the US. And yet, It's basically a circle with a one mile radius: Yes, just one mile. In that situation, one can walk everywhere, and public transportation is limited to the elderly, people carrying heav…

In my Portuguese apartment block I have 2 restaurants, a cafe, a hairdresser, a phone shop and some other commercial I haven't quite identified.

From the front door I can throw rocks at 2 more cafes, another restaurant, a launderette, a playground and a car dealer. There is a basket ball court out the back.

Nothing special about my 7 storey block, but when a certain density is reached things start to work really well

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#396

Post by tropicalbeach »

packetlost wrote: post #383
MrOwnPut wrote: post #372

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or just live in a small town where all of your friends and needs are 5 minutes away. I see no point to overpopulated cities with remote work so prevalent nowadays. Cars aren't the problem, overpopulated cities are. I can walk my town end to end in 15 minutes, there's a coop, grocery store, hospital, entertainment, etc. You can drive to another town if you want, or drive and park anywhere without paying, or walk, or b…

I fail to see how overpopulation is the problem when cities like Tokyo exist.

Have you actually been to Tokyo? It's insanely crowded everywhere. Just walking across intersections and navigating train stations is insane. Hotels are the size of your closet and apartments are the size of your closet. Japan has one of the higher depression rates. If anything this proves high density cities are unhealthy.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#397

Post by yunwal »

EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK wrote: post #273
rcarr wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here’s another thing no one talks about because it’s taboo: drink driving. Right up until the mid 70s, it was completely socially acceptable to drink and drive. Now I agree that it was probably a good thing that’s it’s been banned, but having to pay for and organise transportation to go to whatever event it is you want to go to adds another substantial layer of friction to socialising. Not to mention the fact that th…

It's still completely socially acceptable to drink and drive, at least in "redneck" parts of the country.

Not even redneck. Basically anywhere without public transit/uber people will get fairly drunk and drive.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#399

Post by 0zemp1c »

habosa wrote: post #124
naremu wrote: post #25

I've been wondering how related these feelings of distance and isolation in the middle of society are to how the area is designed. I had always known for a long time the "why" I didn't want to go out on weekends and such, but it wasn't until I watched some of those videos from "Not Just Bikes" that it really, really struck me. I literally dread finding parking more than I enjoy finding friends. And suburban (and fran…

Americans are friendly but when it comes to the decisions that matter (voting and the votes with our wallets) the preference is for the private over the public. People are scared to depend on each other or to be forced to interact with strangers. So we’ll all try to have our own cars and drive on huge suburban streets and put our kids in private schools and build fences around our yards and vote down zoning laws that…

> And we’ll wonder why the people in that cute little European town we visited that one time seemed so much happier.

except they don't think that

the Americans nod politely and whisper to each other "can you imagine living that close to your neighbors? nooooo thank you!"

HN needs to just drop this notion that anyone opposed to density is a caveman. I love the fact that my neighbors can't see me and I can't see them. Everyone is one an acre minimum. We like it like that and we're not even Literal Nazis!

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