31–40 of 572 posts
Isn’t being friends with your neighbors a far more obvious answer to this? I thought that’s where this was going. > Sometime during the pandemic lockdowns, I began to nurture a fantasy,” Adrienne Matei writes. “What if I were neighbors with all of my friends? Every day, as I took long walks through North Vancouver that were still nowhere near long enough to land me at a single pal’s doorstep, I would reflect on the p…
Isn’t being friends with your neighbors a far more obvious answer to this? I thought that’s where this was going. > Sometime during the pandemic lockdowns, I began to nurture a fantasy,” Adrienne Matei writes. “What if I were neighbors with all of my friends? Every day, as I took long walks through North Vancouver that were still nowhere near long enough to land me at a single pal’s doorstep, I would reflect on the p…
In addition to what other have said, the definition of "friends" may change with time and context. Like yourself, my family was super "close" to our neighbours when I was growing up. But they weren't even remotely "friends" in the sense that I might use the word today - there were zero common interests; significantly different backgrounds, world perspectives, priorities, lifestyles; they had little to talk about othe…
That’s a valid distinction. But if they had that level of care for each other, I would argue the major reason they didn’t share dinner together, play lawn games, or watch football on sundays was because they didn’t want to. But the author of the article does cite that interest.
We probably chanced across our close friends one day because we were living or doing something nearby. And introduced ourselves. And sometimes friendships spark.
The article is great but I feel it could also recognize the birds in hand nearby.
"And if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with." -Steven Stills.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
For what it's worth, as the rare suburbanite HNer, I fondly recall my family having the same sort of relationships with neighbors in the late 80's and 90's; unfortunately the same just doesn't seem to happen even in socioeconomically comparable suburbs today. Even just attempts to strike up small talk with a neighbor when we both happen to be outside at the same time are usually rebuffed, and the idea that anyone wou…
rare suburbanite HNer I bet that's pretty wrong.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Isn’t being friends with your neighbors a far more obvious answer to this? you don't get to choose your neighbors...
Do you find yourself not having much in common with your neighbors, not liking them, etc? A large part of friendship is some circumstance that puts you in the same time and place (school, work, sports, etc.). There must be some pretty big barrier if you can’t make friends with most of your neighbors.
I've been wondering how related these feelings of distance and isolation in the middle of society are to how the area is designed. I had always known for a long time the "why" I didn't want to go out on weekends and such, but it wasn't until I watched some of those videos from "Not Just Bikes" that it really, really struck me. I literally dread finding parking more than I enjoy finding friends. And suburban (and fran…
Isn’t being friends with your neighbors a far more obvious answer to this? I thought that’s where this was going. > Sometime during the pandemic lockdowns, I began to nurture a fantasy,” Adrienne Matei writes. “What if I were neighbors with all of my friends? Every day, as I took long walks through North Vancouver that were still nowhere near long enough to land me at a single pal’s doorstep, I would reflect on the p…
In addition to what other have said, the definition of "friends" may change with time and context. Like yourself, my family was super "close" to our neighbours when I was growing up. But they weren't even remotely "friends" in the sense that I might use the word today - there were zero common interests; significantly different backgrounds, world perspectives, priorities, lifestyles; they had little to talk about othe…
This is more of a product of the time. My parents weren’t that open with close friends either back in the 70s when I was growing up.
Fast forward to today and my friends are all quite open about personal things. And the one I know who is friends with his neighbor is just as open with the neighbor.
Back then it was just socially unacceptable to talk about lots of mental health stuff or anything near it.
I'm trying on Bumble BFF mode, but not having tons of luck.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
rare suburbanite HNer I bet that's pretty wrong.
You could very well be right; I was just putting together a gut feeling about the HN community and anecdotal knowledge of where my coworkers in the industry live.