Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

I’ve been single all my life

lukasrosenstock.net

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

411–420 of 443 posts

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#411

Post by sage76 »

rawgabbit wrote: post #262
DoreenMichele wrote: post #167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At the risk of everyone wanting my head on a pike: A. We don't really know what introversion and extroversion are. B. The higher the IQ, the more likely they are to qualify for the label "introvert." So in at least some cases, it's possible smart people just give up on trying to connect socially because they get a lot of negative feedback from other people and it's mostly downside for them, so they stop bothering. Mo…

My personal anecdote is when I was younger. I took things very seriously. I took people very seriously. I came off as a smart ass. Later I learned if I want to be part of the party. I needed to check my brain in a lock box and not let it out until the social event is over. A social event is about meeting people and good feelings. Bitcoin. Investing in Beanie Babies. Selling your house and becoming a digital nomad? Th…

I never know what to take seriously and what not to.

I used to take it all seriously, and that didn't work.

So I don't take anything seriously, and I lose interest.

I have not figured out any balance whatsoever. I don't know how to "shoot the shit" anymore.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#412

Post by kwere »

UncleEntity wrote: post #254
alfor wrote: post #225

> I don’t think women’s rights should be up for discussion just because some men don’t get laid That’s not the point. The places of men and women were clear before, now the current narrative is that women were oppressed and men were oppressor. That is a false reading of history. The biggest difficulties were put on men to sacrifice themselves for their family, country, society. Now we find ourselves in a culture that…

> The places of men and women were clear before, now the current narrative is that women were oppressed and men were oppressor. Being able to buy your neighbor’s daughter for a couple goats and a milk cow seems pretty oppressive to me.

basic Historian's fallacy, socioeconomics dinamics were a little bit different that we comprend. Most of drowries, bride prices, etc... were in most cases capital for the sustainment of the wife as she couldnt work as (much) men due to intensive child-rearing, not existing job opportunities, social obligations, etc... .

most of "feminism" qualms came from upperclass enviroments of the early 20th century, and those are a limited worldview of gender dynamics. For example, poorer women didnt have the limitation to work as burgeuosie women declared,(as the social dogma shamed men who needed to make their wife to work) they couldnt afford to live on a single meager salary

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bride_price

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#415

Post by rawgabbit »

sage76 wrote: post #411
rawgabbit wrote: post #262

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My personal anecdote is when I was younger. I took things very seriously. I took people very seriously. I came off as a smart ass. Later I learned if I want to be part of the party. I needed to check my brain in a lock box and not let it out until the social event is over. A social event is about meeting people and good feelings. Bitcoin. Investing in Beanie Babies. Selling your house and becoming a digital nomad? Th…

I never know what to take seriously and what not to. I used to take it all seriously, and that didn't work. So I don't take anything seriously, and I lose interest. I have not figured out any balance whatsoever. I don't know how to "shoot the shit" anymore.

Awesome. Sums up my life perfectly.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#416

Post by edmundsauto »

luckylion wrote: post #405
karpierz wrote: post #402

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was asking for a source that showed that introverted women had happier outcomes ("results") than introverted men in dating. Introverted women probably get hit on more ("more offers"), but using that to conclude that they see better outcomes is like saying it's a good thing that my dating life is successful because my inbox is filled with unsolicited dick pics.

The primary argument was that it makes it a voluntary decision for them ("opt back in"), because they'd have the opportunity. It doesn't mention that those are necessarily great opportunities, but we usually consider having opportunities better than not having them. If you're unemployed and you get an offer a week, you're better off than if you didn't get any offers, even if those offers aren't great. Options > no op…

This isn't necessarily true in dating. Many of the "offers" come in the form of harassment.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#417

Post by phito »

selcuka wrote: post #371
throwntoday wrote: post #316

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We live in the US, where the success of a marriage is closer to a coin toss. It's pretty abaurd to try to take the average from across the world in this case.

US average is even lower (0.3%). I believe you, but your metric must be wrong.

Where do you get that from...? Everything I find online says it's between 40% and 50%. 0.3% makes no sense.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#418

Post by phito »

b3lvedere wrote: post #362

"The clock is ticking, and figuring myself out and finding a partner won’t get easier as I get older." Why is the clock ticking? If you want offspring then there's a limited timeframe, but for all other things i doubt there's a distinct timeframe. I've read about 70 year olds dating and enjoying live.

The clock is always ticking. It's native to assume that you will get to old age, things could end anytime.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#419

Post by vlz »

qikInNdOutReply wrote: post #364
vlz wrote: post #303

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'm not 'poly' or 'asexual' or any of that crap Not to detract from the rest of your post, which I agree with, but why call these orientations "crap"? That is somewhat hurtful.

Why does someone have to appreciate other sexual orientations? I dont run around demanding somebody be forced to appreciate mine. Grumpily ignoring other peoples choices to life and let life is good enough for society to work. The world is not there to be a comfy blanket..

Comparing somebody (or an important part of their personality) with excrements in a public forum is not "grumpily ignoring". I am all for civility, but this is not it.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#420

Post by selcuka »

phito wrote: post #417
selcuka wrote: post #371

Earlier quoted context omitted.

US average is even lower (0.3%). I believe you, but your metric must be wrong.

Where do you get that from...? Everything I find online says it's between 40% and 50%. 0.3% makes no sense.

Divorce rate means the percentage of people getting a divorce every year. Your 40-50% figure must be the total percentage of marriages that end in divorce.

Now the GP said "divorce rate", so I take it they meant the former. If it's the latter, then 1% is abnormally low (and can't be simply explained with happy marriages).

Post reply on HN