Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

I’ve been single all my life

lukasrosenstock.net

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

281–290 of 443 posts

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#281

Post by maxbond »

elzbardico wrote: post #275
maxbond wrote: post #150

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Appeals to literalism or objectivity often serve to create a seemingly objective and seemingly simple veneer over something that's truly subjective and complex. In this case, "women are baby machines" is obscuring a lot: - This is conflating being female with being a woman. Being female is a biological fact, being a woman is a distinct concept from being female. Conflating them serves to imply that our ideas about wo…

Being a woman means being a female.

Not so. For one, trans women are women, but are not biologically female. For another, being a woman is primarily about fulfilling a certain role in society, having a certain relationship to people based on your gender and theirs. That's got very little to do with biological sex. Like I said, there's nothing biological about wearing dresses. Kilts and skirts are virtually identical, but one of them is seen as very masculine and one of them is seen as very feminine.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#282

Post by EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK »

joeyfranklin wrote: post #246
fernly wrote: post #99

I think the word that Rosenstock was searching for, was "Introvert"[1]. I'm an introvert who had the good fortune to marry another introvert, and live contentedly with her for 40+ years. Following her death a few years ago I reflected on the differences between being part of a couple, and being solitary. There were many. Health maintenance was one; somebody else in this thread has already commented on married men liv…

> So my advice to Rosenstock would be to seek another dedicated introvert. With respect; why? 40 years ago the future looked very different. None of you felt urgency regarding global warming, faced the same cost of living fiasco, spread of drought, fire, mass migrations, political instability, and whatever conspiracy driven idiocy social media will unleash next. There is no divine mandate humanity carry on a particul…

40 years ago terrorists blew up something almost weekly worldwide, Russia was genociding a neighboring country all the same, cold war was in full swing, a computer glitch almost caused an all out nuclear war, and 4 million people died of hunger in Ethiopia alone.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#283

Post by mcphage »

joeyfranklin wrote: post #246
fernly wrote: post #99

I think the word that Rosenstock was searching for, was "Introvert"[1]. I'm an introvert who had the good fortune to marry another introvert, and live contentedly with her for 40+ years. Following her death a few years ago I reflected on the differences between being part of a couple, and being solitary. There were many. Health maintenance was one; somebody else in this thread has already commented on married men liv…

> So my advice to Rosenstock would be to seek another dedicated introvert. With respect; why? 40 years ago the future looked very different. None of you felt urgency regarding global warming, faced the same cost of living fiasco, spread of drought, fire, mass migrations, political instability, and whatever conspiracy driven idiocy social media will unleash next. There is no divine mandate humanity carry on a particul…

No, but there was the constant looming possibility of nuclear annihilation.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#284

Post by EFreethought »

throwntoday wrote: post #86
3m wrote: post #52

>Also, if it doesn’t work out, I’m scared of leaving a broken heart in another person. This is a telling statement. It really highlights his inexperience and immaturity with regards to relationships (not that this is in doubt - it is after all the subject of his post). Being the cause of, and the sufferer of a "broken heart" is a formative experience. There's nothing like healing a broken heart to teach you that actu…

> It's a numbers game I think to enter into a relationship knowing there will be an expiration date speaks more to your character. Almost sounds like "I'm with them unless something better comes along or their shortcomings become more than I want to deal with". If you genuinely love someone, you will stand by them, work on any problems, and remember that you chose to build a future together. Given that the divorce ra…

Your comment would be more helpful if you state which community is your community and give some details on what you are doing right.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#285

Post by joeyfranklin »

effingwewt wrote: post #258
joeyfranklin wrote: post #246

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> So my advice to Rosenstock would be to seek another dedicated introvert. With respect; why? 40 years ago the future looked very different. None of you felt urgency regarding global warming, faced the same cost of living fiasco, spread of drought, fire, mass migrations, political instability, and whatever conspiracy driven idiocy social media will unleash next. There is no divine mandate humanity carry on a particul…

You statement could be made about literally any time in human history and hold true. It's defeatist. I feel you, sure- but it's like religion or politics- to each their own.

Exactly; why give people long term life advice when “to each their own” and the unknown nature of the future?

Why recite one’s personal story as the key to happiness for everyone else?

Go away Tony Robbins, Musk, and Dolly Parton; be happy with who you are. The rest of us will do the same without your guidance.

It’s a really entitled and selfish energy to constantly emit.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#286

Post by datavirtue »

brigandish wrote: post #168
dangwhy wrote: post #159

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> do things that put you around people. I tried skiing through which i met tons of people but very few single women. Tried bjj, no women at all. Hiking and camping groups, again no single women. I still do all of these activities but very few women. I've actually never met a woman ,single or otherwise, mountain biking, which is my main goto in summer. Truth is that women don't generally do a lots of activities.

Dancing, there are always women learning to dance and they far outnumber the men.

Krav Maga. Constant inflow of women.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#287

Post by datavirtue »

shrimp_emoji wrote: post #162
TimTheTinker wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Any place that facilitates meeting people in general and that attracts a high enough woman/man ratio. Where would you go to make friends of either sex? That's a good starting place.

Schools Hospitals Grocery stores That's all I got.

Thier phone.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#288

Post by EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK »

highspeedbus wrote: post #265
kayodelycaon wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So... how does one actually meet women?

Bar, tinder, churches, open festivals, etc. But the most important: Through friends. Trying to make regular friends and expanding your social circle increases the chances of being invited to private gatherings, where you can meet more people and so on.

No bars unless you like alco addicted girls.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#289

Post by joeyfranklin »

effingwewt wrote: post #258
joeyfranklin wrote: post #246

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> So my advice to Rosenstock would be to seek another dedicated introvert. With respect; why? 40 years ago the future looked very different. None of you felt urgency regarding global warming, faced the same cost of living fiasco, spread of drought, fire, mass migrations, political instability, and whatever conspiracy driven idiocy social media will unleash next. There is no divine mandate humanity carry on a particul…

You statement could be made about literally any time in human history and hold true. It's defeatist. I feel you, sure- but it's like religion or politics- to each their own.

[flagged]

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#290

Post by MuffinFlavored »

aschearer wrote: post #44

First off, bravo for sharing. Much respect. That said, this is borderline navel gazing. Stop thinking about "what it's like to go swimming" and jump in the lake. Yes, you'll get wet, look stupid, and make a mess. There's no way around that. The sooner the better. If you need to reason yourself into the water, I recommend "The Village Effect." Statistically, humans fair better with a rich tapestry of relationships. Ar…

> yes you’ll look stupid

i wouldn’t under estimate how crippling of a fear this is. you wouldn’t tell a depressed person “cheer up!”

Post reply on HN