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I’ve been single all my life

lukasrosenstock.net

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Re: I’ve been single all my life

#181

Post by selcuka »

throwntoday wrote: post #86
3m wrote: post #52

>Also, if it doesn’t work out, I’m scared of leaving a broken heart in another person. This is a telling statement. It really highlights his inexperience and immaturity with regards to relationships (not that this is in doubt - it is after all the subject of his post). Being the cause of, and the sufferer of a "broken heart" is a formative experience. There's nothing like healing a broken heart to teach you that actu…

> It's a numbers game I think to enter into a relationship knowing there will be an expiration date speaks more to your character. Almost sounds like "I'm with them unless something better comes along or their shortcomings become more than I want to deal with". If you genuinely love someone, you will stand by them, work on any problems, and remember that you chose to build a future together. Given that the divorce ra…

> Given that the divorce rate in my community is less than 1% we're probably doing something right.

FYI the divorce rate worldwide is less than 1% (it's actually much lower, around 0.4%).

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#182

Post by SoftTalker »

carbine wrote: post #53
jakeva wrote: post #7

I haven't been single all my life, but the relationships I have had have taught me things that makes it easier to be single. I remember the good times fondly, but the bad times remind me why being single isn't so bad.

I'm a woman and have had long serious relationships and long-ish stretches of being single. Took me a while to filter through all the social pressure BS and realize that, on balance, I have been way (WAY) happier single. Maybe this could change one day? But right now I have no interest in changing it. It'd take someone extraordinary. I'm not 'poly' or 'asexual' or any of that crap, I've just had to give up so much of…

Fully agree. I'm male, and all of my relationships that progressed to the "serious" stage ended in heartbreak (for me). After those experiences, it's just not worth it. And casual hookups have never been a thing for me. So I'm done with romantic relationships, and fine with that.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#183

Post by shrimp_emoji »

nvarsj wrote: post #19

I guess I've been a "volcel" for almost 4 years now after an almost 20 year relationship. I have pretty mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I get lonely, intensely lonely at times. And I miss the companionship I had (before it got awful.) On the other hand, I have so much time now to just focus on myself and my kids and my career and hobbies and my mental well being. I've increased my income a lot in the last y…

A relationship can end like that after 20 years? Oh my god. That's basically my whole life. I can't imagine sharing that much of my life, that much time, with another person and then the relationship ending on our terms. Like, they didn't die, or they didn't drink a vial of cancer serum accidentally and whoops I have cancer now I'm dying bye. It ended because you started hating each other? After all that time? That's insane for me to even fathom.

I can't even imagine the growth, personally, and in the other person to happen through all that time and to share that time together in a relationship. And then, after all that, it can end because the relationships sours? That almost black pills me on all relationships lmao

Luckily, I also can't fathom how people have trouble being with themselves. I'm grateful that I feel as though I'm my own best friend in a way. I like who I am, even with vast room for improvement, and I feel like I do a pretty good job of guiding myself through life to make it a reasonably fulfilling adventure while helping myself become a better person (mostly). From where I'm at now, working on myself and pursuing my hobbies is all I want to do. Introducing the noise of a relationship into it seems... messy.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#185

Post by renewiltord »

dangwhy wrote: post #159
JohnFen wrote: post #143

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone wiser than me once commented -- nobody is going to knock on your door. If you want to meet people, you have to get out there and do things that put you around people.

> do things that put you around people. I tried skiing through which i met tons of people but very few single women. Tried bjj, no women at all. Hiking and camping groups, again no single women. I still do all of these activities but very few women. I've actually never met a woman ,single or otherwise, mountain biking, which is my main goto in summer. Truth is that women don't generally do a lots of activities.

Haha, they just choose different activities. Of the ones I've tried, the top five ones with a high female participation rate were (in order from highest to lowest): sewing, ceramics, fencing, archery, fitness clubs.

I made friends through those clubs, though, and never dated anyone from there.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#186

Post by oliyoung »

nly wrote: post #171
baking wrote: post #39

I was happily single until my mid-thirties and wasn't even really looking for a relationship. I realize now that getting married probably saved my life. Married men life much longer than single men because they have someone to tell them to go to the doctor. So yeah, stay single if you want, but get a good doctor and don't skip the annual physicals.

Ironic because people here in the UK don't have "annual physicals". There is no routine preventative medicine on the NHS.

There's nothing stopping you from scheduling your own (said as a 43 year old who has one every January)

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#187

Post by c2xlZXB5 »

I have been single all my life (I'm in my early 20s). I don't know if I have any desire to be in a relationship with anyone at this time.

It may be selfish, but there are so many things I want to do with my limited time and I feel like a relationship will just hold me back from doing what I want to do.

I guess it is a fear of being tied down to something and impose on my current, practically unlimited, freedom.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#188

Post by 1659447091 »

TimTheTinker wrote: post #133
kayodelycaon wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So... how does one actually meet women?

Any place that facilitates meeting people in general and that attracts a high enough woman/man ratio. Where would you go to make friends of either sex? That's a good starting place.

co-ed sports leagues

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#189

Post by SoftTalker »

nly wrote: post #171
baking wrote: post #39

I was happily single until my mid-thirties and wasn't even really looking for a relationship. I realize now that getting married probably saved my life. Married men life much longer than single men because they have someone to tell them to go to the doctor. So yeah, stay single if you want, but get a good doctor and don't skip the annual physicals.

Ironic because people here in the UK don't have "annual physicals". There is no routine preventative medicine on the NHS.

Yeah it's a pretty US centric thing. People here run to the doctor for every little thing and then complain about the price of healthcare and how it's so hard to get in to see a doctor.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#190

Post by maxbond »

brigandish wrote: post #177
maxbond wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Women are not baby machines or objects of beauty, they're people. Their "greatest value" is whatever they decide it to be. They should form relationships in the way that brings them the most happiness. Reducing women to objects of beauty, saying their value comes from their fertility, and implying that if they disagree with that assessment it's because they're too emotional is almost the dictionary definition of miso…

From the comment you replied to: > Yet we can never honestly discuss them because people have a hard time controlling their emotions about it. Nobody here has said that women are baby machines or any such thing. Get control of yourself.

I'm in control of myself, thank you for your concern. Perhaps you should reread that comment, I think it may have escaped you. Have a good day.
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